The corrupt a wish game

[trailmaster]

Wish granted, however, Uschi is now 67 years old. Her looks are gone and her body is all stooped over and her boobs are all wrinkled and have warts on them and they hang down to her waist. When you see her you are horrified, and want out of the contract. Then out of the shadows steps this big beefy guy who looks like a 7 foot tall weight lifter. His name is Ken and he is Uschi's new lover. "So you want out of the contract" Ken says, then take this, and he pounds on you until you are nothing but a flattened, bloody meat puppet.

I wish that I would find buried treasure in my garden filled with gold coins, jewels, gold bars, and 1,000 dollar brand new bills.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted, but that was the treasure that was supposed to be in Al Capone's vault.

Geraldo comes to your house, haunted to this day by his memories of that TV special, and accuses you of stealing it.

Things become heated as Geraldo demands that you give him the treasure so he can re-film his old show, and before long you are in a full blown fistfight. Geraldo breaks your nose, and blood is everywhere, blinding you.

The mob that has formed takes the opportunity to rampage through your house, and everyone grabs a handful of treasure. Soon it is all gone, and you recover to find yourself with a trashed house and an empty treasure chest. Just then the IRS arrives, and wants to know how you are going to pay the tax assessment on the now vanished treasure. This is too much to bear, and screaming, you attack the IRS agents. You are then thumped again, by FBI agents just arriving to question you about possible ties to the mafia.

You end the day in jail, with no treasure. At least the guards, giggling, have given you a picture of Al Capone to look at.

I wish aliens would come and give me a pill that would halt and reverse aging, so that I could live an immortal life, barring accidents.

[luddite]

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

I wish aliens would come and give me a pill that would halt and reverse aging, so that I could live an immortal life, barring accidents.

Granted.

After probing you for hours on end, the aliens give you a suppository in the form of a 6 foot cactus and they tell you that once you get it in, you can never remove it. You get younger and younger until your mother screams, but not as loud as your father will !

I wish I hadn't been away for so long.

[trailmaster]

Granted, however, because you stayed away so long when you came back you fell into a black hole and went back 63,000,000 years into the past. "What was that sound" Hrrrrrumph, crackkkkkkkkk. That was you being crushed underfoot by a 12 ton Stegosaurus. Next time make a better wish!


I wish that all the evil North Korean leaders would disappear along with all their armed forces. Then South Korea with the help of the U.S. could take over the nation!

[ball7]

Wish granted.

The citizens of the former country of North Korea is brutally purged all due to the great plan by Trailmaster.

I wish Sushi would be cheaper

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted. Careless handling by ignorant barely paid shipping laborers and clueless chefs making the minimum wage make Sushi cheaper... and a bit more risky to eat.

One night after dining at your favorite Sushi restaurant, you awake with a horrible cramp in your belly. Before you can even throw back the sheets, you explosively void a gallon of liquid poo into your bed.

Crawling to your phone, you dial 911 but cannot say anything coherent through your numbed lips. The traceback allows an ambulance to reach your home within 15 minutes anyway, but it's too late - the EMTs find you in the bathroom, where you attempted to mount the porcelain god, but passed out on your way up, and drowned face down in the toilet bowl.

In death, you voided another gallon of liquid shit onto the bathroom floor. For a week, the pics the EMTs took are the toast of all the accident porn sites.

I wish I owned my own pizza parlor.

[FalunGonged]

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

I wish I owned my own pizza parlor.

Wish granted! Your business is a success throughout the neighbourhood. Within weeks you are on Ellen for chrissakes! Jimmy Fallon wants you to cater his parties! It’s all good, good, good times!

That is until the Bambino crime family get more than pissed off at you for allegedly stealing their family recipes from the old country. Not forgetting the “insult” for not paying respect to the local capos and giving them a taste of the action and I don’t mean a pizza pie!
For that, your lower body is now part of the new central highway construction with your top half part of the building support foundation of Gino’s pizza joint where your business was.

I wish that we can all live in peace and harmony with no worries or ill will against one another and that as a collective we can just all get along!

[trailmaster]

Originally Posted by FalunGonged

Wish granted! Your business is a success throughout the neighbourhood. Within weeks you are on Ellen for chrissakes! Jimmy Fallon wants you to cater his parties! It’s all good, good, good times!

That is until the Bambino crime family get more than pissed off at you for allegedly stealing their family recipes from the old country. Not forgetting the “insult” for not paying respect to the local capos and giving them a taste of the action and I don’t mean a pizza pie!
For that, your lower body is now part of the new central highway construction with your top half part of the building support foundation of Gino’s pizza joint where your business was.

I wish that we can all live in peace and harmony with no worries or ill will against one another and that as a collective we can just all get along!

Wish granted. All the nations of the world dismantle their nuclear weapons. The U.S. gets rid of all their ballistic missles, atomic subs, bomber planes armed with tactical nukes and other weapons. All the countries of the world throw down their arms and world peace and harmony is declared. Everyone is blissfully happy until the space aliens attack. Since the world has disarmed we have no means to counterattack and the aliens quickly takeover the world.They then turn the human race into their slaves and rape the planet of all it's minerals and water!

I wish for a perfect computer, that automatically updates itself, so I don't have to go into the internet to get driver and other program updates every few months.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted. I run up to the future and bring you back a computer running Windows 25, with a built-in AI. It's so smart that not only does it update itself, it runs your whole house with ease, and even hacks into pay-porn sites so that you can download all the pics and videos you want for free.

Unfortunately I forgot to disable the big brother surveillance software package, so when you go to dump a huge backup of all your old porn onto the new PC, it recognizes your bestiality dog and horse porn pics as illegal and calls the police on you.

Off to jail you go. And you are now a registered sex offender.

I wish I had my own T-101 terminator, reprogrammed to carry out my every command.

[luddite]

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

I wish I had my own T-101 terminator, reprogrammed to carry out my every command.

Since it failed to terminate John Connor, the T-101 was redesigned as a sexbot. T = Transvestite, 101 = size of sex organ in centimeters.
It comes packaged with WinXXX, so it will broadcast to every smart tv within 50 km. It is also telepathic, so after the initial shock of receiving a life sized, naked Arnold Schwarznegger wearing fishnets, your first thought (Fuck me!) triggers it.

I wish I could go back in time and deflower Emma Caesari.