Post your corny jokes - Page 1465

**photoflex** · May 13th, 2019, 06:12 AM

An old lady was standing at the railing of a cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: ‘Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?

“Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.”

“But, madam, you are not wearing anything under your dress, and your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied...

“Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”

**seldomseen** · May 13th, 2019, 06:13 AM

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.

**Sir Honkers** · May 13th, 2019, 07:52 AM

Q: What did the man wearing orthopaedic shoes say?
A: I stand corrected.

**fatrat1** · May 13th, 2019, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

I went to him when I had My 19th nervous breakdown but it's all over now......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silklover

So, after all these doctors I realized I simply HAD to see a rock star. Went to see Mick Jagger, but he couldn´t start me up though he´d got me under his thumb.

I take it you both got no satisfaction

**Sir Honkers** · May 13th, 2019, 11:12 AM

Q: What is a Freudian Slip?
A; When you say one thing but fuck your mother. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

**Mal Hombre** · May 13th, 2019, 11:17 AM

I tried to read Oedipus but I found it too complex...

**vo1v0d** · May 13th, 2019, 11:58 AM

I retired on medical grounds. I was sick of working.

**vo1v0d** · May 13th, 2019, 12:09 PM

I retired on proctological grounds; it was a pain in the arse.

Estreeter · May 13th, 2019, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vo1v0d

I was sick

Q, What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

A, If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

**effCup** · May 13th, 2019, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

you need oink-ment.

Don't rub it in, Del-boy.

May 13th, 2019, 06:12 AM	#14641
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,920 Thanked 127,768 Times in 3,570 Posts	An old lady was standing at the railing of a cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: ‘Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind? “Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.” “But, madam, you are not wearing anything under your dress, and your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied... “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

May 13th, 2019, 06:13 AM	#14642
seldomseen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 38,203 Thanks: 127,400 Thanked 711,950 Times in 38,112 Posts	I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust. __________________ -------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat.

May 13th, 2019, 11:17 AM	#14646
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,127 Thanks: 772,558 Thanked 855,619 Times in 57,558 Posts	I tried to read Oedipus but I found it too complex... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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May 13th, 2019, 07:52 AM	#14643
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,335 Thanks: 286,762 Thanked 386,067 Times in 30,288 Posts	Q: What did the man wearing orthopaedic shoes say? A: I stand corrected.

May 13th, 2019, 11:12 AM	#14645
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,335 Thanks: 286,762 Thanked 386,067 Times in 30,288 Posts	Q: What is a Freudian Slip? A; When you say one thing but fuck your mother. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

May 13th, 2019, 11:58 AM	#14647
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,214 Thanks: 42,113 Thanked 60,440 Times in 7,425 Posts	I retired on medical grounds. I was sick of working.

May 13th, 2019, 12:09 PM	#14648
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,214 Thanks: 42,113 Thanked 60,440 Times in 7,425 Posts	I retired on proctological grounds; it was a pain in the arse.