Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 7

LindaGordonWanker · October 7th, 2013, 04:53 PM

I would tell a joke about Madeline McCann, but I think she's been done to death...

MaxJoker · October 7th, 2013, 04:59 PM

"You seem troubled," the Barman asked as he poured me another drink "What's up ?"

"It's my wife " I confessed "She's gone right off sex since our son died"

"Sorry to hear that," he replied "When did he pass away ?"

"Last night"

Estreeter · October 8th, 2013, 01:54 PM

Do you know what the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari

There's no Ferrari in my garage.

MaxJoker · October 8th, 2013, 02:25 PM

Madonna claims her rapist needs to truly suffer.

Looking at her now, 35 years later, getting him to do it again should do the trick.

**sweatyhat** · October 8th, 2013, 02:38 PM

I said, "My son is the only kid in his class whose parents are married".
My mate said, "It's nice to uphold traditions isn't it?"
"Yeah", I replied. "Plus he's the only kid with two dads"

Even though my mate has Parkinson's he's managed to get a job as a cocktail waiter.
He makes a cracking Martini.

"Education can fight terrorism" says Malala Yousafzail, the Pakistani girl who got shot by the taliban.
Algebra has never solved any of life's problems.

MaxJoker · October 8th, 2013, 02:40 PM

My Nan left me a tidy sum of money when she died.

I get it via installments down at the post office.

Which after you factor in the cost of air fresheners and bug spray still leaves me £110 each week.

**sweatyhat** · October 8th, 2013, 02:45 PM

I jumped out of my daughter's wardrobe wearing a Halloween mask to scare her.
She screamed, "Fcuking hell, Dad. What the fcuk are you doing?"
"Alright, calm down", I laughed. "At least I let your boyfriend finish off first"

Estreeter · October 9th, 2013, 02:37 PM

I like my women how I like my coffee.... In a hessian sack on the back of a donkey

MaxJoker · October 9th, 2013, 04:04 PM

Got a job as a teachers assistant in a nursery at the start of this week. True it was only temporary work but as ever i was looking to impress.

So paid full attention to the children, never let my hands be idle and constantly worked up a sweat.

It didn`t go unnoticed either.

I've been asked to leave.

Estreeter · October 10th, 2013, 02:32 PM

Defining gross
A pile of 100 dead babies

Whats grosser then that?
One's still alive at the bottom

Whats grosser then that?
He ate his way out

Whats grosser then that?
He went too the bottom again for more

October 7th, 2013, 04:59 PM	#62
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,385 Times in 69,067 Posts	"You seem troubled," the Barman asked as he poured me another drink "What's up ?" "It's my wife " I confessed "She's gone right off sex since our son died" "Sorry to hear that," he replied "When did he pass away ?" "Last night" __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 8th, 2013, 01:54 PM	#63
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,077 Thanks: 449,288 Thanked 896,433 Times in 60,279 Posts	Do you know what the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari There's no Ferrari in my garage. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 8th, 2013, 02:25 PM	#64
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,385 Times in 69,067 Posts	Madonna claims her rapist needs to truly suffer. Looking at her now, 35 years later, getting him to do it again should do the trick. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 8th, 2013, 02:38 PM	#65
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,857 Times in 10,563 Posts	I said, "My son is the only kid in his class whose parents are married". My mate said, "It's nice to uphold traditions isn't it?" "Yeah", I replied. "Plus he's the only kid with two dads" Even though my mate has Parkinson's he's managed to get a job as a cocktail waiter. He makes a cracking Martini. "Education can fight terrorism" says Malala Yousafzail, the Pakistani girl who got shot by the taliban. Algebra has never solved any of life's problems. __________________

October 8th, 2013, 02:40 PM	#66
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,385 Times in 69,067 Posts	My Nan left me a tidy sum of money when she died. I get it via installments down at the post office. Which after you factor in the cost of air fresheners and bug spray still leaves me £110 each week. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 7th, 2013, 04:53 PM	#61
LindaGordonWanker Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 105 Thanks: 2,788 Thanked 1,908 Times in 120 Posts	I would tell a joke about Madeline McCann, but I think she's been done to death...

October 8th, 2013, 02:45 PM	#67
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,857 Times in 10,563 Posts	I jumped out of my daughter's wardrobe wearing a Halloween mask to scare her. She screamed, "Fcuking hell, Dad. What the fcuk are you doing?" "Alright, calm down", I laughed. "At least I let your boyfriend finish off first" __________________

October 9th, 2013, 02:37 PM	#68
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,077 Thanks: 449,288 Thanked 896,433 Times in 60,279 Posts	I like my women how I like my coffee.... In a hessian sack on the back of a donkey __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 9th, 2013, 04:04 PM	#69
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,385 Times in 69,067 Posts	Got a job as a teachers assistant in a nursery at the start of this week. True it was only temporary work but as ever i was looking to impress. So paid full attention to the children, never let my hands be idle and constantly worked up a sweat. It didn`t go unnoticed either. I've been asked to leave. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 10th, 2013, 02:32 PM	#70
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,077 Thanks: 449,288 Thanked 896,433 Times in 60,279 Posts	Defining gross A pile of 100 dead babies Whats grosser then that? One's still alive at the bottom Whats grosser then that? He ate his way out Whats grosser then that? He went too the bottom again for more __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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