Grand Rear Admiral MaxJoker`s Non Conformist Confessional Church Thread - Page 62

MaxJoker · March 29th, 2018, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubbs999

It has been 48 years since my last confession

So it should be.
Since you've nothing to confess.
No sins created.
Never more so given you've only ever run specific trucks off the road and selflessly unburdened them of the essentials

**bloke57** · March 29th, 2018, 07:38 PM

Oh Grand Cardinal, please help me to unburden my soul.

I recently received a message via LinkedIn from my ex's daughter and I had an impure thought.

I'm not worried about the impure thought BTW - I just need absolution for continuing to be on that tedious, self-aggrandising crap site LinkedIn.

How many Hail Marys am I in for?

MaxJoker · March 31st, 2018, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

Oh Grand Cardinal, please help me to unburden my soul.

Well why wouldn't I help

It`s not like you've blasphemously failed to thank at least the first nineteen pages of this Holy thread , is it

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

I recently received a message via LinkedIn from my ex's daughter and I had an impure thought.

That shouldn't worry you as even if you told your ex there wouldn't be a problem.
As understand he`s a forgiving man

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

I'm not worried about the impure thought BTW - I just need absolution for continuing to be on that tedious, self-aggrandising crap site LinkedIn.

Hey

Some of our loveliest Fellow Forum Fella`s are on LinkedIn

Plus Greenman too

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

How many Hail Marys am I in for?

The clue to heaven sent absolution is deftly hidden at the beginning of my sanctimonious reply

**Mal Hombre** · March 31st, 2018, 11:03 AM

Yea,Verily Brother Thou must thank ,Thank til Thy wrist be sore,Thank as if Thy very soul were in peril,Only the most Abject thanker may avail Himself of His Holiness's munificence..
Mal Hombre,Very Arch Deacon & Forum Inquisitor

**bloke57** · March 31st, 2018, 10:20 PM

Wishing all you creationists a very Happy Easter.

**risen** · April 1st, 2018, 07:27 AM

Given the subject matter I think this belongs here.
I hope whoever perpetrated that mistake can be forgiven.

MaxJoker · April 2nd, 2018, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by risen

I hope whoever perpetrated that mistake can be forgiven.

Provided whomever did thine deed repents.
With sincerity.
By joining V.E.F and thanking every hallowed praise worthy post in this thread.
Forgiveness shall be granted

**blondifan** · March 5th, 2019, 10:32 PM

Dear Modfather.
When I was younger, I took a girls virginity.

In my defence I fully intended to give it back.

**AmateurEmale** · March 16th, 2019, 08:37 PM

I admit that I have joined the thread to ask forgiveness of my sins, and that today I have been looking at impure photos of certain people named Britney, Paris, and Pamela at VEF.

I also admit that I think that "Exalted Cyclops of Cincinnati" is a cool title for a churchgoer. I am not IRL in the KKK, but I think that the Exalted Cyclops has a cool title. Blame this on my admittedly former hobby of Dungeons and Dragons in the fourth through sixth grade.

No offense to anyone of any race who is reading this. Most people don't think that anything associated with the KKK is cool. The KKK in real life is a gross, ignorant organization. It is about being and thinking in collective terms. The KKK is the opposite of individual freedom. But I can admit that these weird Southerners who hate minorities have a title system that sounds like a combination of Dungeons and Dragons and a horror movie.

Ku Klux Klan really is just Dungeons and Dragons for Southerners. You can be a wizard, a dragon, or a cyclops, but you have to dress like a garden gnome. And vote for the Trump Troll.

MaxJoker · March 17th, 2019, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondifan

Dear Modfather.
When I was younger, I took a girls virginity.
In my defence I fully intended to give it back.

Thou foulest O`Sinner

How dare you type such words

Christ on a bike , and a Grand Cardinal too

We`re a Holy Order here

A religion like all Church-ie and regional

Exactly.

Taking is what we do

Bugger giving anything back

As penance find a girl named Mary , then introduce her to your proudest religious relic !.

Although buy her dinner first

March 31st, 2018, 11:03 AM	#614
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,663 Thanked 855,774 Times in 57,565 Posts	Yea,Verily Brother Thou must thank ,Thank til Thy wrist be sore,Thank as if Thy very soul were in peril,Only the most Abject thanker may avail Himself of His Holiness's munificence.. Mal Hombre,Very Arch Deacon & Forum Inquisitor __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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March 29th, 2018, 07:38 PM	#612
bloke57 Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Unaffordable housing Posts: 4,923 Thanks: 31,646 Thanked 68,928 Times in 4,921 Posts	Oh Grand Cardinal, please help me to unburden my soul. I recently received a message via LinkedIn from my ex's daughter and I had an impure thought. I'm not worried about the impure thought BTW - I just need absolution for continuing to be on that tedious, self-aggrandising crap site LinkedIn. How many Hail Marys am I in for?

March 31st, 2018, 10:20 PM	#615
bloke57 Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Unaffordable housing Posts: 4,923 Thanks: 31,646 Thanked 68,928 Times in 4,921 Posts	Wishing all you creationists a very Happy Easter.

April 1st, 2018, 07:27 AM	#616
risen Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Stuck in the middle Posts: 1,100 Thanks: 68,798 Thanked 15,539 Times in 1,092 Posts	Given the subject matter I think this belongs here. I hope whoever perpetrated that mistake can be forgiven.

March 5th, 2019, 10:32 PM	#618
blondifan Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 4,406 Thanks: 55,000 Thanked 60,211 Times in 4,401 Posts	Dear Modfather. When I was younger, I took a girls virginity. In my defence I fully intended to give it back.

March 16th, 2019, 08:37 PM	#619
AmateurEmale Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The 513 Posts: 1,825 Thanks: 16,644 Thanked 15,794 Times in 1,755 Posts	I admit that I have joined the thread to ask forgiveness of my sins, and that today I have been looking at impure photos of certain people named Britney, Paris, and Pamela at VEF. I also admit that I think that "Exalted Cyclops of Cincinnati" is a cool title for a churchgoer. I am not IRL in the KKK, but I think that the Exalted Cyclops has a cool title. Blame this on my admittedly former hobby of Dungeons and Dragons in the fourth through sixth grade. No offense to anyone of any race who is reading this. Most people don't think that anything associated with the KKK is cool. The KKK in real life is a gross, ignorant organization. It is about being and thinking in collective terms. The KKK is the opposite of individual freedom. But I can admit that these weird Southerners who hate minorities have a title system that sounds like a combination of Dungeons and Dragons and a horror movie. Ku Klux Klan really is just Dungeons and Dragons for Southerners. You can be a wizard, a dragon, or a cyclops, but you have to dress like a garden gnome. And vote for the Trump Troll.