Lewd Limericks

[iufrenchman]

There once was a voluble WAC,
Who had a voluminous crack.
But she kept it shuttered;
Her motormouth muttered
While seamen entered from the back.

[iufrenchman]

There was a wanker from wales,
When he guffed he arose gales,
He wanked so hard,
His dick turned to lard,
When he trys to have sex he fails.

[iufrenchman]

there once was a gal from gibraltar
who married a young man named walter
when the vows were recited
they got so excited
they did it right there at the altar

[vierenweg]

There once was a nun from West Kent
Who'd given up wanking for Lent;
But she still played with the todger
Of Roger the Lodger
Because she thought cock Heaven-sent!

[vierenweg]

There once was a hostess from Leigh
Who would fuck all her guests for a fee -
Except for Roger the Lodger,
Given the size of his todger,
He had her each morning for free.

[vierenweg]

There was a young lezzie from Pyke
Who rode into work on a bike;
She was offered some cock
As she rode by the dock
But said, "Fuck off, pal, take a hike!"

[Mal Hombre]

A friendly young girl called Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men that she loves
She'll use her bare fist
If the fellas insist
But she usually prefers to wear gloves

[whiskymick]

There was an old miser called Fred
Who wanted a new water bed
But none could be found
For under a pound
So he pissed on his mattress instead.

[Mal Hombre]

There was a young lady from Spain
Who liked it now and again
Not now and again
As in now and again
But now!and again and again !

[iufrenchman]

Said Marian to Robin Hood,
Your super-tight tights look so good!
They clearly display
Your manhood's array
And your arrow's quivering wood!