WORST films you`ve ever seen EVER ! - Page 244

bockster · April 24th, 2018, 02:42 AM

I have watched many, many thousands of movies in my time but I can say with absolute conviction that Transformers 5 - The Last Knight is the biggest piece of crap I have EVER SEEN....

I somehow summoned the immense strength to sit through over 2 and a half hours of this utter mindless drivel with no story... and the worst thing is, the budget was obviously huge, but I can only surmise a few pennies went on the script.......The Blair Witch Project had a better story and that cost £2.50 to make....I would rather have watched Prometheus 5 times so help me....Michael Bay... YOU SUCK

**Motorboater** · April 25th, 2018, 01:31 PM

I'm watching The World According To Garp atm.

Horrible.

**EmptyPacket** · April 26th, 2018, 03:48 AM

I've seen a lot of garbage ass movies in my lifetime, some low budget, some blockbusters, and everything in between....This one....Holy hell, this one was a steaming pile.

Only God Forgives (2013)

The best way I can describe this tripe...Part Slasher Flick, Part Art House Film. Wanna see Ryan Gosling slowly walk down a hallway with no dialogue? Wanna see a movie where a mother compares the penis size of her sons? Then this is the movie for you. Oh, you say you want to see someone hack the arms off of people, then suddenly cut to the machete wielding guy singing in a karaoke bar...on more than one occasion? Well, you got it!

I don't know what the hell they were going for by making this movie, but if it was to bore and confuse me at the same time...They hit the mark. If somebody tells you to watch this movie, tell them that they should replace the sugar in their coffee with broken glass.

**cicciobuki** · April 26th, 2018, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmptyPacket

I've seen a lot of garbage ass movies in my lifetime, some low budget, some blockbusters, and everything in between....This one....Holy hell, this one was a steaming pile.

Only God Forgives (2013)

The best way I can describe this tripe...Part Slasher Flick, Part Art House Film. Wanna see Ryan Gosling slowly walk down a hallway with no dialogue? Wanna see a movie where a mother compares the penis size of her sons? Then this is the movie for you. Oh, you say you want to see someone hack the arms off of people, then suddenly cut to the machete wielding guy singing in a karaoke bar...on more than one occasion? Well, you got it!

From what you describe, it actually sounds not that bad at all

MaxJoker · June 28th, 2018, 04:58 PM

If you want to know just how piss poor rotten this film is study Cusak`s haunted shellshocked expression in the poster ,

Then multiple that by an incalculable degree of abject banality.

What`s the the plot

There is no plot worth mentioning. That makes a blind bit of sense. Or and most importantly. Was worth making into , whatever the cheesy cocking hell this thing is.

I`d sum the monstrosity up in one word = Embarrassing.

Actually felt slightly sorrowful that JC in particular seemingly is that broke (

) or that disliked (

) by the major motion producing picture industry. He has to take such rancid roles

Captain ron · July 5th, 2018, 06:35 AM

Clueless (1995)

Captain ron · July 5th, 2018, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Earned a fortune though.
Sadly

Not that the merchandise for that and the previous two isn't still on the shelves over here and heavily discounted.
There`s so much wrong with the script of that film it`s not even funny.
However it`s intensely anti male slant is.
I'll rant on about everything in another week or so though.
Once I've calmed down enough

!.

anti-male how?

Doverben · July 5th, 2018, 02:00 PM

Hamburger: The Motion Picture (1986)

Where do I begin? Well the movie has a great oral scene with the delectable Randi Brooks. Otherwise it's dreadful. Worse than the 'Porkies' franchise.

More of Randi here: http://vintage-erotica-forum.com/sho...t=randi+brooks

Plot: Russell has been expelled from several schools for lewd, crude and nude conduct. Busterburger University is his last chance at education and satisfying his disappointed parents.

britfan999 · July 6th, 2018, 10:59 PM

Watchmen - utter diatribe

Nebraska1 · July 7th, 2018, 02:14 AM

valerian the city of a thousand planets: this actually made me annoyed because it was so bad. the two "heros" who look like kids compared to everyone else never seem to be in any danger, and they're also the most annoying actors. the story is also somewhat convoluted with many "star wars-type" aliens.

hereditary: i can't understand how people enjoyed this film. it was so boring and it felt like it was 3 hrs long. i thought the youngest kid was the best actor but she's gone pretty quickly and then you have to wait FOREVER until anything interesting happens. then it lasts 5 minutes before the most ridiculous ending i've ever seen

battlespace: i dare anyone to watch this film until the end. see how long you can last. it's like seeing how long you can stay underwater. good luck and sorry

April 26th, 2018, 03:48 AM	#2433
EmptyPacket Vintage Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Somewhere in New York Posts: 729 Thanks: 6,000 Thanked 15,798 Times in 729 Posts	God Awful Movie...That I'll Never Forgive I've seen a lot of garbage ass movies in my lifetime, some low budget, some blockbusters, and everything in between....This one....Holy hell, this one was a steaming pile. Only God Forgives (2013) The best way I can describe this tripe...Part Slasher Flick, Part Art House Film. Wanna see Ryan Gosling slowly walk down a hallway with no dialogue? Wanna see a movie where a mother compares the penis size of her sons? Then this is the movie for you. Oh, you say you want to see someone hack the arms off of people, then suddenly cut to the machete wielding guy singing in a karaoke bar...on more than one occasion? Well, you got it! I don't know what the hell they were going for by making this movie, but if it was to bore and confuse me at the same time...They hit the mark. If somebody tells you to watch this movie, tell them that they should replace the sugar in their coffee with broken glass. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 28th, 2018, 04:58 PM	#2435
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	Ricci and Cusak can act.. We've seen it.. However here.. They don't just phone it in.. They both lazily - Can't be arsed the script and director are shite so why bother - scribbled on a postcard it in !! If you want to know just how piss poor rotten this film is study Cusak`s haunted shellshocked expression in the poster , Then multiple that by an incalculable degree of abject banality. What`s the the plot There is no plot worth mentioning. That makes a blind bit of sense. Or and most importantly. Was worth making into , whatever the cheesy cocking hell this thing is. I`d sum the monstrosity up in one word = Embarrassing. Actually felt slightly sorrowful that JC in particular seemingly is that broke () or that disliked () by the major motion producing picture industry. He has to take such rancid roles __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

July 5th, 2018, 02:00 PM	#2438
Doverben Senior Member Join Date: May 2014 Posts: 341 Thanks: 17,784 Thanked 7,403 Times in 332 Posts	Hamburger: The Motion Picture (1986) Hamburger: The Motion Picture (1986) Where do I begin? Well the movie has a great oral scene with the delectable Randi Brooks. Otherwise it's dreadful. Worse than the 'Porkies' franchise. More of Randi here: http://vintage-erotica-forum.com/sho...t=randi+brooks Plot: Russell has been expelled from several schools for lewd, crude and nude conduct. Busterburger University is his last chance at education and satisfying his disappointed parents. Last edited by MaxJoker; July 5th, 2018 at 02:07 PM.. Reason: Resized image

April 24th, 2018, 02:42 AM	#2431
bockster Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 39 Thanks: 9,345 Thanked 165 Times in 26 Posts	I have watched many, many thousands of movies in my time but I can say with absolute conviction that Transformers 5 - The Last Knight is the biggest piece of crap I have EVER SEEN.... I somehow summoned the immense strength to sit through over 2 and a half hours of this utter mindless drivel with no story... and the worst thing is, the budget was obviously huge, but I can only surmise a few pennies went on the script.......The Blair Witch Project had a better story and that cost £2.50 to make....I would rather have watched Prometheus 5 times so help me....Michael Bay... YOU SUCK

April 25th, 2018, 01:31 PM	#2432
Motorboater Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 4,325 Thanks: 41,491 Thanked 38,250 Times in 4,299 Posts	I'm watching The World According To Garp atm. Horrible.

July 5th, 2018, 06:35 AM	#2436
Captain ron Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2018 Posts: 141 Thanks: 242 Thanked 1,185 Times in 121 Posts	Clueless (1995)

July 6th, 2018, 10:59 PM	#2439
britfan999 Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 45 Thanks: 842 Thanked 1,406 Times in 66 Posts	Watchmen - utter diatribe

July 7th, 2018, 02:14 AM	#2440
Nebraska1 Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: a private island off the coast of macau Posts: 92 Thanks: 5,534 Thanked 821 Times in 71 Posts	valerian the city of a thousand planets: this actually made me annoyed because it was so bad. the two "heros" who look like kids compared to everyone else never seem to be in any danger, and they're also the most annoying actors. the story is also somewhat convoluted with many "star wars-type" aliens. hereditary: i can't understand how people enjoyed this film. it was so boring and it felt like it was 3 hrs long. i thought the youngest kid was the best actor but she's gone pretty quickly and then you have to wait FOREVER until anything interesting happens. then it lasts 5 minutes before the most ridiculous ending i've ever seen battlespace: i dare anyone to watch this film until the end. see how long you can last. it's like seeing how long you can stay underwater. good luck and sorry