The corrupt a wish game

[palo5]

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

I wish loosegoose would start having strange feelings after his interlude with palo's colleague and decide to "transition" to a woman.

Wish granted. But Goose stops halfway, and thinks life is better as a tranny. He looks you up and stalks you because you're a hunk. One day, a compromising situation almost occurs in Central Park, and you are terrified that kids have pics of you on their cellphones

I wish my definitely female colleague would love me whatever. If Members could see her, they would definitely approve my taste and understand my drool

PS: Actually, she does have strong arms, and her brother is a bodybuilder. I don't know what to make of this

[Bill derBerg]

Originally Posted by palo5

...
I wish my definitely female colleague would love me whatever. If Members could see her, they would definitely approve my taste and understand my drool

PS: Actually, she does have strong arms, and her brother is a bodybuilder. I don't know what to make of this

Granted. She is hopelessly in love with you and only you. However, she insists you move to Chicago to start over. Just your luck you move next door to a half crazed cowboy with an addiction to ice cream. He bothers you day and night complaining about things only he can see or hear. Most Americans only own guns, this lunatic owns a flamethrower. One day he burns down your house while chasing squirrels around the neighbourhood. However, he does successfully convince the American cops that it was the mad Russian who lit the fire. Your gorgeous wife moves back to Russia while you rot in prison.

I wish I had an unending supply of General Tso's chicken.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted, you are turned into a Chinese concubine and sent back to 1875, to serve as General Tso's handmaiden. Every night, you get an unending supply of his chicken...

I wish I had magic machine that would present me with a boxed KFC chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and a biscuit for sides every time I pushed the button on it.

[trailmaster]

Wish granted, however, when you open your first box of KFC chicken and sides from the magic box you are horrified to see that everything in the box is spoiled rotten. Phew, What a stink. You throw out the contents and push the button again. This time you get pieces of cooked chicken that still has the feathers on them and the mashed potatoes have worms in them, and the biscuits are as hard as rocks. You throw out the contents, and push the button for a third time. This time you just get chicken bones and potato seeds, and stale bread. You get so mad you throw the box at the wall and the button is stuck in the on position. Then all of a sudden real good chicken and mashed potatoes, and biscuits start coming out of the box, but they keep coming. You can't stop it. Your whole house is filling up with it. Before you can even react you are buried by this unending unstoppable mass of great cooked chicken, biscuits and mashed spuds.


I wish that none of my VEF posts could be deleted. Every time a mod tries to delete my post he gets an electric shock!!

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted. Mal Hombre is sitting at his desk howling and sucking his tingling fingers.

Meanwhile, entranced by your new powers, you start posting all kinds of stuff, getting nastier and nastier. Scat, rape porn, and then bestiality pics.

VEF comes to the attention of the British authorities, who shut VEF down, permanently.

A few months later you laughingly relate the whole story to some guys in a strip bar, who unknown to you were ALSO VEF members.

They ambush you in the parking lot and beat the crap out of you, then break all your fingers and tie you by your thumbs to the security fence. When the cops show up they find you hanging there with the latest issue of Playboy rolled up tight and shoved all the way up your ass.

I wish I could go on a date with Katie Fey.

[Bill derBerg]

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

...

I wish I could go on a date with Katie Fey.

Granted. However, the law against cruel and unusual punishment protects Ms. Fey from actually being alone with you. Her companion, RuPaul takes a shine to you and wants to take you home. Being the hick from French Lick you have never heard of RuPaul and think "what the hell a beautiful black woman, let's go." Surprise, she has a bigger dick than you and pounds your butt mercilessly all night while Ms. Fey watches and texts all her friends about how gay you are. Your dating days are over.

I wish this damn summer cold I have would go to who ever corrupts my wish.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted. I take your summer cold and mutate it into a deadly pathogen and then give it back to you.

You infect all of your family, and enjoy your last days together blowing bloody snot and mucus from your lungs as your glands swell to the size of softballs.

I wish Katie Fey would come to my house and we would take a selfie together, and then we could send it to Bill derBerg with a nasty taunting caption about his teeny dick from Katie before we go on our date.

[Bill derBerg]

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

...
I wish Katie Fey would come to my house and we would take a selfie together, and then we could send it to Bill derBerg with a nasty taunting caption about his teeny dick from Katie before we go on our date.

Granted. Somehow Katie has forgotten you're gay for Hans Moleman and has agreed to go on a date. However, when you show up wearing a nicer ensemble than hers it's more than she can stand and she drives a fondue fork into your ear. Ha Ha jokes on her an earwig laid eggs in your ear years ago and its larvae have already starved to death looking for a meal. Katie decides to cut her loses and sends an urgent apology text to Bill derBerg begging forgiveness and a late dinner date. In a fit of jealousy you vow to drink Fosters Lager and eat Kraft Dinner until she comes back to you or you die. Guess what happens?

I wish some kind soul would help me move millions of dollars out of the country before it to is stolen. I would be most generous to such a person.

[Sir Honkers]

Originally Posted by Bill derBerg

I wish some kind soul would help me move millions of dollars out of the country before it to is stolen. I would be most generous to such a person.

Granted. I moved it to my bank account, where together with the untold wealth I'm looking after for bowlinggreen it makes me richer than croesus.
I wish for dear old Bill to pm me his bank account details so I can transfer his money back...along with a bonus of millions of oil dollars I squirreled away when I was the Nigerian Minister of finance.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted, but Bill derBerg is actually a drug dealer, and when you rifle his accounts, the DEA, who has been watching, assume he is onto them, and is using you to transfer his assets to a safe hiding place.

At 3AM a SWAT team kicks down your door and you spend the next six months in a federal detention facility trying to explain your relationship to Bill DerBerg to federal agents who don't believe a word of your story.

It doesn't help that Bill makes additional posts here laughing about how he suckered the DEA and how he is going to break his buddy loosegoose out of the pen any day now...

I wish I had my own drone and could use it to make airstrikes on people who pissed me off.