How to have confidence around women

[KissArmy]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

Could be a million reasons why you got rejected. She was in a bad mood. Coming out of a relationship. Just not interested in dating anyone. Busy with other aspects of her life. Turning it into being about us is just the way our sense of self thinks.

And it can help your confidence when the girl gives you one of those reasons. Damn sure beats being lied to.

In my school days I once asked a girl out to the big dance. She thanked me and said Sorry, she's waiting for [other guy] to ask her. Absolute honesty, and my confidence didn't take a hit. I still respect that girl years later.

[Roubignol]

Originally Posted by AmateurEmale

Do you think that women are more likely to judge the total person (approach, sense of humor, values, possibly money or education) instead of just looks?

I'd insist on good breath and clean teeth. That's extremely important.
You can have a Rolex on your wrist, if you open your mouth and smell the old corpse... you only will catch a dirty creature.

[Sir Honkers]

Originally Posted by KissArmy

And it can help your confidence when the girl gives you one of those reasons. Damn sure beats being lied to.

In my school days I once asked a girl out to the big dance. She thanked me and said Sorry, she's waiting for [other guy] to ask her. Absolute honesty, and my confidence didn't take a hit. I still respect that girl years later.

True, but people are not obligated to satisfy your need for an explanation. Real confidence lies in taking your ego out of the equation and just moving on. Someone said no...so what! Although I will own that it took me thirty years or so to realise that was true.

[KissArmy]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

True, but people are not obligated to satisfy your need for an explanation. Real confidence lies in taking your ego out of the equation and just moving on. Someone said no...so what! Although I will own that it took me thirty years or so to realise that was true.

I didn't demand she explain her rejection- she volunteered that on her own. I definitely agree you don't ask a girl to justify her "No."

But I would recommend listening if a girl goes on to explain her "No" without you asking. You can see if she's lying. You can see if she's reasonable. You can see if she's crazy. By listening you can help decide if you really want to ask her out again. Actually saying to yourself "forget that bitch" is a confidence builder when you know it's her, not you. Remember, the definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

[HugoHackenbush]

Originally Posted by KissArmy

I didn't demand she explain her rejection- she volunteered that on her own. I definitely agree you don't ask a girl to justify her "No."

But I would recommend listening if a girl goes on to explain her "No" without you asking. You can see if she's lying. You can see if she's reasonable. You can see if she's crazy. By listening you can help decide if you really want to ask her out again. Actually saying to yourself "forget that bitch" is a confidence builder when you know it's her, not you. Remember, the definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

But this is the part that used to drive me crazy in my younger days. The non-obvious turn down. Along the lines of "Sorry but I'm busy that night". Is she really busy and still wants an invite in the future? Or she's not interested at all and thinks she not hurting your feelings by saying she's busy. If in case it's the latter you have to ask several times and get turned down each time in order to find out she's not interested at all.

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

Could be a million reasons why you got rejected. She was in a bad mood. Coming out of a relationship. Just not interested in dating anyone. Busy with other aspects of her life. Turning it into being about us is just the way our sense of self thinks.

I also find a lot of guys dwell on rejections they have received but never once remember all those times they have avoided the advances of a female on the basis she is not attractive enough.

We've all done it I'm sure - and there are still one or two that I regret not giving it a go with even though I was not interested at the time.

Especially since one of them now owns a £2 million flat in Hampstead village. ()

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by bloke57

I also find a lot of guys dwell on rejections they have received but never once remember all those times they have avoided the advances of a female on the basis she is not attractive enough.

Females are no different