Post your corny jokes - Page 1231

**ruffroundedges** · May 24th, 2017, 12:40 AM

- What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?
Stays awake all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

- If money is the root of all evil, then why do they ask for it in church?

- One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?" "Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

**bp666** · May 24th, 2017, 11:37 AM

I told my dad I was considering going back to uni.

He asked if being unemployed with two degrees was more prestigious than being unemployed with one.

It was a second degree burn.

**bp666** · May 24th, 2017, 11:38 AM

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective..

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'

'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'

**Isegrim** · May 24th, 2017, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruffroundedges

... If money is the root of all evil, then why do they ask for it in church?

"The Holy Church has a stomach healthy:
Hath eaten many a land as forfeit,
And never yet complained of surfeit:
The Church alone, beyond all question,
Has for ill-gotten goods the right digestion."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Faust"

**effCup** · May 24th, 2017, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

a second degree burn.

Best avoid the third degree.

They do more than simply burn.

**bp666** · May 24th, 2017, 08:46 PM

If multiple girls called Paige hang out together, is that called a chapter?

**bp666** · May 24th, 2017, 08:47 PM

What do you call an expert fisherman?

A master baiter.

**bloke57** · May 24th, 2017, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

If multiple girls called Paige hang out together, is that called a chapter?

It is in my book.

**karloschaos** · May 25th, 2017, 02:39 AM

A friend of mine who is an Ornithologist asked me what my favorite type of bird was. I said "Great Tits & Swallows". "You can't choose two" he said. "I didn't" I replied.

**gmcbee** · May 25th, 2017, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

If multiple girls called Paige hang out together, is that called a chapter?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

It is in my book.

If I had a spine, I'd tell you guys to leaf these bad puns alone. Everything's about covered.

May 24th, 2017, 12:40 AM	#12301
ruffroundedges Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention? Posts: 5,198 Thanks: 79,034 Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts	- What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do? Stays awake all night wondering if there really is a Dog. - If money is the root of all evil, then why do they ask for it in church? - One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?" "Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother." __________________ Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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May 24th, 2017, 11:37 AM	#12302
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,544 Thanked 14,184 Times in 1,074 Posts	I told my dad I was considering going back to uni. He asked if being unemployed with two degrees was more prestigious than being unemployed with one. It was a second degree burn.

May 24th, 2017, 11:38 AM	#12303
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,544 Thanked 14,184 Times in 1,074 Posts	Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. 'How was he killed?' asked one detective.. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'

May 24th, 2017, 08:46 PM	#12306
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,544 Thanked 14,184 Times in 1,074 Posts	If multiple girls called Paige hang out together, is that called a chapter?

May 24th, 2017, 08:47 PM	#12307
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,544 Thanked 14,184 Times in 1,074 Posts	What do you call an expert fisherman? A master baiter.

May 25th, 2017, 02:39 AM	#12309
karloschaos Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: East Yorkshire Posts: 748 Thanks: 7,982 Thanked 8,832 Times in 687 Posts	A friend of mine who is an Ornithologist asked me what my favorite type of bird was. I said "Great Tits & Swallows". "You can't choose two" he said. "I didn't" I replied.