Post your corny jokes - Page 1117

**SanteeFats** · June 23rd, 2016, 11:32 PM

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks, one in each hand, and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender. The bartender is experienced, and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy with the ducks has to go to the restroom. The ducks are left on the bar. The bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The bartender decides to try to make some conversation. "What's your name?" He says to the first duck. "Huey" replies the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh. That's nice," says the Bartender. Then he says to the second duck "Hi, and what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "my name is Puddles, and don't ask about my day."

**gedly** · June 23rd, 2016, 11:58 PM

Babies? They don't know they're born.

**photoflex** · June 24th, 2016, 03:03 AM

As the exit polls show a 52-48 lead in favor of Great Britain remaining in the EU, it seems the plot to get out of the Euro-vision contest has failed.

**effCup** · June 24th, 2016, 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photoflex

As the exit polls show a 52-48 lead in favor of Great Britain remaining in the EU

The "exit" polls may have been wrong, as the BBC are now reporting the non-exit poll as favouring "exit".

**photoflex** · June 24th, 2016, 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by effCup

The "exit" polls may have been wrong, as the BBC are now reporting the non-exit poll as favouring "exit".

Good! Problem solved!

**effCup** · June 24th, 2016, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photoflex

Problem solved!

Or are others only just beginning? /shrug/

**photoflex** · June 24th, 2016, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by effCup

Or are others only just beginning? /shrug/

Can you hear that sound?
It's the pound plummeting...

**effCup** · June 24th, 2016, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photoflex

It's the pound plummeting

Not your heart pounding?

**Mal Hombre** · June 24th, 2016, 03:42 PM

Enough with the EU Sturm Und Drang,There's a thread in GD for that...

MaxJoker · June 24th, 2016, 08:08 PM

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome ,

The first few chapters were horrendous ,

But by the end I completely loved it.

June 24th, 2016, 03:03 AM	#11163
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,925 Thanked 127,786 Times in 3,570 Posts	As the exit polls show a 52-48 lead in favor of Great Britain remaining in the EU, it seems the plot to get out of the Euro-vision contest has failed. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

June 24th, 2016, 03:42 PM	#11169
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,144 Thanks: 772,733 Thanked 855,816 Times in 57,574 Posts	Enough with the EU Sturm Und Drang,There's a thread in GD for that... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 24th, 2016, 08:08 PM	#11170
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome , The first few chapters were horrendous , But by the end I completely loved it. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 23rd, 2016, 11:32 PM	#11161
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,833 Thanks: 281,852 Thanked 813,985 Times in 60,879 Posts	This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks, one in each hand, and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender. The bartender is experienced, and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy with the ducks has to go to the restroom. The ducks are left on the bar. The bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The bartender decides to try to make some conversation. "What's your name?" He says to the first duck. "Huey" replies the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh. That's nice," says the Bartender. Then he says to the second duck "Hi, and what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "my name is Puddles, and don't ask about my day."

June 23rd, 2016, 11:58 PM	#11162
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,317 Times in 3,171 Posts	Babies? They don't know they're born.