The corrupt a wish game - Page 320

**Sir Honkers** · December 3rd, 2016, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill derBerg

I wish the Thanks button to disappear, again.

Granted. I click it and...hang on!...you're all still here. What a gyp!
I wish to get my money back.

**trailmaster** · December 3rd, 2016, 11:44 AM

Wish granted. You have all your money back, however the bills are so old they are all crinkly and falling apart. When you take them to the bank to deposit it, the bank manager says that those bills are no good. They are ready to be destroyed.

I wish that everytime it snows in Chicago, instead of snow coming down, cooked pizzas would fall out of the sky instead!

**Fappy Gilmore** · December 3rd, 2016, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trailmaster

I wish that everytime it snows in Chicago, instead of snow coming down, cooked pizzas would fall out of the sky instead!

Granted! It is Dec 08 a weather prediction of scattered flurries has changed dramatically and made world wide headlines as extra extra extra extra large cooked pizza's begin to rain over Chicago with terminal velocity ,crushing buildings, cars, people,anything and everything in there path, all that remains of Chicago and much of the east now is a vast crater of hot bubbly goat cheese and Hákarl.

I wish to live out my days (as a human) on a farm in a house close the mountains and a river teaming with live fresh salmon.

**Sir Honkers** · December 3rd, 2016, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fappy Gilmore

I wish to live out my days (as a human) on a farm in a house close the mountains and a river teaming with live fresh salmon.

Granted. The house is miles from anywhere and as the truck that delivered you and your supplies drives away, you belatedly realise you left your fishing rod in the back. Not that it matters much as the riverbank is lined with grizzly bears who think you will make a nice change to their fish diet.
Now that I am fully retired with plenty of time on my hands, I wish that the twenty-something, dropdead gorgeous brunette in the other apartment on our floor would invite me in for coffee....without the coffee.

Bill derBerg · December 3rd, 2016, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loosegoose

...
Now that I am fully retired with plenty of time on my hands, I wish that the twenty-something, dropdead gorgeous brunette in the other apartment on our floor would invite me in for coffee....without the coffee.

Granted. The beauty invites you in for coffee and recreation. Remember she's only twenty something and you're older than dirt. This becomes painfully obvious when she is slooooowly removing her clothing and your heart literally explodes. As you cross over into the light you are greeted by your long dead toy poodle Puff Puff. This surprises you as the last time you seen Puff Puff she was under the wheels of your golf cart. The last thing she heard was you yelling "Fore" and then chuckling. As you notice the light you're crossing into is actually the Hell Bound Train, Puff Puff piddles on your shoes. While you begin your ride to Hades impaled on the cow catcher the last thing you hear is Puff Puff saying "All Aboard" and chuckling.

I wish I had a talking dog and a golf cart.

**Sir Honkers** · December 4th, 2016, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill derBerg

I wish I had a talking dog and a golf cart.

Granted. Deaf as a post genie thought you said 'I wish I was walking the dog with a hole in the heart.'The VEF membership organises yet another whip-around to buy you a pauper's funeral, but all they collect is three buttons and an 'I love Jimmy Savile' badge.
I wish that shortly before TM's arrival for a holiday on Rottnest Island, an evolutionary quirk turned all the quokkas carnivorous.

**trailmaster** · December 4th, 2016, 09:57 PM

Wish granted for one microsecond, but then the mighty voice of God is heard;
"I shall not let one of my best creations become carnivorous." "I return thee to your previous state" "Go forth and be the world's friendliest creature"

I wish that loosegoose would get a hole in one at his favorite golf course and then have to buy an entire feast for all his golfing buddies!!

**ruffroundedges** · December 4th, 2016, 11:29 PM

Granted: LG gets a hole in one on a par 4 at his favorate course. In celebration he organizes the victory feast for all his buddies and for Trailmaster too in appreciation of his support. As Trailmaster enters the banquet hall he knocks over Loosegooses golf bag and carnivorous quokkas jump out. Devouring Trailmaster first they rampage through the countryside eating anything protein based.
We mourn.

I wish all the freezing rain and snow that fell in Ontario fell on Chicago instead.

**bowlinggreen** · December 5th, 2016, 05:18 PM

Wish granted, but weather fronts are usually followed by a cold snap in winter. So to push things further down from the north, trailmaster gets the snow, and you get 50 degrees below zero in Ontario.

I wish for a bottle of 25 year old Glenfiddich and a baccarat crystal glass to drink it out of.

**trailmaster** · December 7th, 2016, 12:51 PM

Wish granted. You come home from work and find on a small coffee table in front of your living room fireplace a giftwrapped bottle of 25 year old Glenfiddich Scotch and a gift wrapped baccarat crystal glass. You smack your lips in satisfaction. First you start the fire going in the fireplace. You think to yourself: I am going to get a warm fire going before I settle in my favorite chair and enjoy my scotch. Then you unwrap the scotch and glass. There is no card and you think:' "Hmmm, I wonder where this came from" . You open the scotch and pour out some of it into the crystal glass. You swirl the scotch around in the glass, all the while anticipating the fantastic taste that awaits you. You drink from the glass and then you face has a horrible look on it and you spit the scotch out into the fireplace. You scream. "This damn stuff tastes like vinegar"
Shiiiiiiit, and in your disgust throw the bottle into the fireplace without thinking. Whooose the alcohol explodes and a stream of hot fire and ash blast out of the fireplace and your drapes catch on fire. Damn you scream and run to the kitchen to get water, but it is too late. By the time you get back your whole livingroom is on fire. You run to the phone, but it is dead. On the table is a piece of paper from the phone company saying that since you failed to pay the last three bills you phone service was cut off. You run to the bedroom and tear off a sheet and go to your bathroom and soak the sheet with water, and try to use it to snuff out the flames. Then you notice that your pants are on fire, and up you go a scorching, screaming living torch. The smoke alarms in your house go on and this alerts the fire department, who come within ten minutes. You hear through the extreme pain a fire axe cutting your front door down. Just as the firemen come in you collapse into a burned out corpse.

I wish for a grand Christmas/New Years party in my building lobby like we had two years ago.

December 4th, 2016, 11:29 PM	#3198
ruffroundedges Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention? Posts: 5,198 Thanks: 79,034 Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts	Granted: LG gets a hole in one on a par 4 at his favorate course. In celebration he organizes the victory feast for all his buddies and for Trailmaster too in appreciation of his support. As Trailmaster enters the banquet hall he knocks over Loosegooses golf bag and carnivorous quokkas jump out. Devouring Trailmaster first they rampage through the countryside eating anything protein based. We mourn. I wish all the freezing rain and snow that fell in Ontario fell on Chicago instead. __________________ Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by ruffroundedges; December 4th, 2016 at 11:29 PM.. Reason: spelling

December 5th, 2016, 05:18 PM	#3199
bowlinggreen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2015 Posts: 4,192 Thanks: 48,676 Thanked 49,167 Times in 4,188 Posts	Wish granted, but weather fronts are usually followed by a cold snap in winter. So to push things further down from the north, trailmaster gets the snow, and you get 50 degrees below zero in Ontario. I wish for a bottle of 25 year old Glenfiddich and a baccarat crystal glass to drink it out of. __________________ So much porn, so little time...

December 3rd, 2016, 11:44 AM	#3192
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,255 Times in 60,072 Posts	Wish granted. You have all your money back, however the bills are so old they are all crinkly and falling apart. When you take them to the bank to deposit it, the bank manager says that those bills are no good. They are ready to be destroyed. I wish that everytime it snows in Chicago, instead of snow coming down, cooked pizzas would fall out of the sky instead!

December 4th, 2016, 09:57 PM	#3197
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,255 Times in 60,072 Posts	Wish granted for one microsecond, but then the mighty voice of God is heard; "I shall not let one of my best creations become carnivorous." "I return thee to your previous state" "Go forth and be the world's friendliest creature" I wish that loosegoose would get a hole in one at his favorite golf course and then have to buy an entire feast for all his golfing buddies!!

December 7th, 2016, 12:51 PM	#3200
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,255 Times in 60,072 Posts	Wish granted. You come home from work and find on a small coffee table in front of your living room fireplace a giftwrapped bottle of 25 year old Glenfiddich Scotch and a gift wrapped baccarat crystal glass. You smack your lips in satisfaction. First you start the fire going in the fireplace. You think to yourself: I am going to get a warm fire going before I settle in my favorite chair and enjoy my scotch. Then you unwrap the scotch and glass. There is no card and you think:' "Hmmm, I wonder where this came from" . You open the scotch and pour out some of it into the crystal glass. You swirl the scotch around in the glass, all the while anticipating the fantastic taste that awaits you. You drink from the glass and then you face has a horrible look on it and you spit the scotch out into the fireplace. You scream. "This damn stuff tastes like vinegar" Shiiiiiiit, and in your disgust throw the bottle into the fireplace without thinking. Whooose the alcohol explodes and a stream of hot fire and ash blast out of the fireplace and your drapes catch on fire. Damn you scream and run to the kitchen to get water, but it is too late. By the time you get back your whole livingroom is on fire. You run to the phone, but it is dead. On the table is a piece of paper from the phone company saying that since you failed to pay the last three bills you phone service was cut off. You run to the bedroom and tear off a sheet and go to your bathroom and soak the sheet with water, and try to use it to snuff out the flames. Then you notice that your pants are on fire, and up you go a scorching, screaming living torch. The smoke alarms in your house go on and this alerts the fire department, who come within ten minutes. You hear through the extreme pain a fire axe cutting your front door down. Just as the firemen come in you collapse into a burned out corpse. I wish for a grand Christmas/New Years party in my building lobby like we had two years ago.