Classic porn one liners - Page 3

jhteh · August 16th, 2012, 05:39 PM

I barely have sound on while watching porn but from a clip I've lost she's encouraging him: harder, harder (the way she said it did it for me).

Goldageguy · August 16th, 2012, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andycom-66

Can't remember the name of the film, but two guys see a young girl fall off her motorbike and get thrown into some long grass. They go over to her where she is laying on her back, semi-conscious.

The first guy says: "I know a bit about first aid, its important that we loosen any tight clothing."

The second guy kneels down and lifts her (rather short) skirt, saying: "Mmmm, those panties look rather tight......"

Sounds like Pretty Peaches (1978), though Desiree Cousteau fell out of a crashed jeep, not off a motorbike.

primitive_man · September 11th, 2012, 08:49 AM

My contribution:
From some US soap about doctors I was watching on TV during a holiday in Florida.

Woman answers the door to her lover - [ Her husband (whose arrived back home unexpectedly from the airport because he forgot his passport) is standing in the hallway just behind her.]

Woman (improvising): "What can I do for you?"
Lover (Puzzled): "What?"
Woman (Glancing back at husband whose just out of sight of lover): "We don't need any today, thank you!"
Lover (baffled): "Look, if you didn't want me to come, just spit it out!"

UBHappy1 · November 22nd, 2013, 01:50 AM

From "On White Satin", Seka's truck breaks down and Paul Thomas stops to help. He lifts the hood and says "You got a broken Johnson rod; you can drive this with a broken Johnson rod".

**winebeavis** · November 22nd, 2013, 07:29 PM

From "F."

The scene where John Leslie inserts his finger into the Golden Girl and it turns to gold.

John Leslie: "That's ridiculous."
John's "helper": "No Master. That's your finger."

Mushroom0311 · August 2nd, 2020, 01:01 PM

Not really a "one liner" since it needs some lead-in. But the setup makes it one of the funniest and most memorable lines from any porn movie I have ever seen. This is from the 1984 movie Raw Talent, and is an exchange between Jerry Butler and Taija Rae:

Shirley: What do you do?
Eddie Czeropski: I'm an actor.
Shirley: Name something you've been in.
Eddie Czeropski: Well, I was in the soap opera "Dawn Of Day".
Shirley: I don't watch soaps, name something else.
Eddie Czeropski: All right, I did some off-off Broadway, some one act plays, some summer revivals...
Shirley: Tell me something I might have seen on TV, something really big.
Eddie Czeropski: Something that's been on TV. Well, I was in the Vietnam War, and I had a bit part in that one.

wisenheimer · August 2nd, 2020, 02:50 PM

Sharon Mitchell: "Give Champagne to your real friends and real pain to your sham friends!"

**Jake Gittes** · October 18th, 2020, 07:09 AM

"The trouble with you is you're shy, and if you want to f@ck women you can't be shy."

~"Bro" advice from John Leslie in Talk Dirty to Me (1980)

marlow1710 · November 1st, 2020, 12:07 PM

But I poop from there

**seivad** · November 1st, 2020, 04:35 PM

Barbara Broadcast 1977

Guy - Can I come in your mouth?

Barbara Broadcast - Mm-mm. (as in negative)

Guy - When will I be old enough to come in a girl's mouth?

Barbara Broadcast - When you're old enough not to ask.

and later

- Who are you?
- I'm Harvey, the wall-banger.

August 16th, 2012, 05:39 PM	#21
jhteh Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: a fake democracy but in reality a feudal state Posts: 53 Thanks: 81 Thanked 568 Times in 51 Posts	I barely have sound on while watching porn but from a clip I've lost she's encouraging him: harder, harder (the way she said it did it for me). __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 18th, 2020, 07:09 AM	#28
Jake Gittes Swimming in Ecstasy Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Skinny dipping with mermaids in a beautiful, uncharted tropical paradise Posts: 6,093 Thanks: 145,461 Thanked 106,335 Times in 6,174 Posts	Actually, it's pretty accurate... "The trouble with you is you're shy, and if you want to f@ck women you can't be shy." ~"Bro" advice from John Leslie in Talk Dirty to Me (1980) __________________ If you come across a dead link in a post, PM the OP to see if it can be re-uploaded To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Please consider adding a note in your signature if you can re-upload your photos/video links To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Please PM me if any of my posts are down To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Life is easier when you don't take it too seriously To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 1st, 2020, 04:35 PM	#30
seivad Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Old South Wales Posts: 3,171 Thanks: 28,051 Thanked 35,006 Times in 3,168 Posts	Barbara Broadcast 1977 Guy - Can I come in your mouth? Barbara Broadcast - Mm-mm. (as in negative) Guy - When will I be old enough to come in a girl's mouth? Barbara Broadcast - When you're old enough not to ask. and later - Who are you? - I'm Harvey, the wall-banger. __________________ It'd be such an ignorant thing to do If the Russians love their children too. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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September 11th, 2012, 08:49 AM	#23
primitive_man Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1 Thanks: 0 Thanked 6 Times in 1 Post	My contribution: From some US soap about doctors I was watching on TV during a holiday in Florida. Woman answers the door to her lover - [ Her husband (whose arrived back home unexpectedly from the airport because he forgot his passport) is standing in the hallway just behind her.] Woman (improvising): "What can I do for you?" Lover (Puzzled): "What?" Woman (Glancing back at husband whose just out of sight of lover): "We don't need any today, thank you!" Lover (baffled): "Look, if you didn't want me to come, just spit it out!"

November 22nd, 2013, 01:50 AM	#24
UBHappy1 Member Join Date: Nov 2013 Posts: 41 Thanks: 103 Thanked 133 Times in 25 Posts	From "On White Satin", Seka's truck breaks down and Paul Thomas stops to help. He lifts the hood and says "You got a broken Johnson rod; you can drive this with a broken Johnson rod".

August 2nd, 2020, 01:01 PM	#26
Mushroom0311 Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 30 Thanks: 24 Thanked 496 Times in 28 Posts	Not really a "one liner" since it needs some lead-in. But the setup makes it one of the funniest and most memorable lines from any porn movie I have ever seen. This is from the 1984 movie Raw Talent, and is an exchange between Jerry Butler and Taija Rae: Shirley: What do you do? Eddie Czeropski: I'm an actor. Shirley: Name something you've been in. Eddie Czeropski: Well, I was in the soap opera "Dawn Of Day". Shirley: I don't watch soaps, name something else. Eddie Czeropski: All right, I did some off-off Broadway, some one act plays, some summer revivals... Shirley: Tell me something I might have seen on TV, something really big. Eddie Czeropski: Something that's been on TV. Well, I was in the Vietnam War, and I had a bit part in that one.

August 2nd, 2020, 02:50 PM	#27
wisenheimer Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2020 Location: where the sidewalk ends Posts: 340 Thanks: 8,460 Thanked 2,843 Times in 343 Posts	Sharon Mitchell: "Give Champagne to your real friends and real pain to your sham friends!"

November 1st, 2020, 12:07 PM	#29
marlow1710 Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 33 Thanks: 8 Thanked 66 Times in 15 Posts	But I poop from there