|
Best Porn Sites | Live Sex | Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar | Mark Forums Read |
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here! |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
February 9th, 2017, 09:23 AM | #3321 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 7,057
Thanks: 54,282
Thanked 117,197 Times in 7,076 Posts
|
I wish Raquel Welch did porn
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to teaktop For This Useful Post: |
February 9th, 2017, 09:46 AM | #3322 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Land Of Glorious Leader
Posts: 30,341
Thanks: 286,789
Thanked 386,142 Times in 30,297 Posts
|
|
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Sir Honkers For This Useful Post: |
February 9th, 2017, 11:28 AM | #3323 |
Lost luggages?
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: France
Posts: 7,268
Thanks: 92,097
Thanked 86,764 Times in 7,170 Posts
|
Granted. She simply wake up, take her colt serie 70 and tells you : "should have been better darling".
I wish I could draw something and it becomes true. |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to footstep For This Useful Post: |
February 9th, 2017, 11:36 AM | #3324 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 59,891
Thanks: 1,328,987
Thanked 707,171 Times in 60,064 Posts
|
Wish granted. You draw a picture of the Devil and he appears and takes you to Hell where you have to stand in sh...t up to your knees for all eternity!!
I wish I could be Donald Trump's special White House home assistant doing simple household chores. For this he would pay me $200,000 dollars every year. |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to trailmaster For This Useful Post: |
February 9th, 2017, 12:24 PM | #3325 |
Lost luggages?
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: France
Posts: 7,268
Thanks: 92,097
Thanked 86,764 Times in 7,170 Posts
|
Granted. But he knows you voted Hilary...Guatanamo.
I wish a good homemade pizza whenever I call it. |
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to footstep For This Useful Post: |
February 9th, 2017, 01:42 PM | #3326 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 59,891
Thanks: 1,328,987
Thanked 707,171 Times in 60,064 Posts
|
Granted. You call your local pizza restaurant and order your favorite kind of pizza (deep dish) and it magically appears on your kitchen table. However, unknown to you "the magic master" who controls all magic in the world plays a trick on you. When you open the pizza box you scream: Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh. The pizza is all covered with big worms, roaches, beetles, leeches, and a dead man's rotting hand!!
I wish when I die I could be re-incarnated as a Stegosaurus living in the Cretaceous Period. |
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to trailmaster For This Useful Post: |
February 9th, 2017, 01:49 PM | #3327 |
Lost luggages?
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: France
Posts: 7,268
Thanks: 92,097
Thanked 86,764 Times in 7,170 Posts
|
Granted. But T REX is looking for you. Finally, you get married by force and have 3 little TM T REX babies.
I wish Trump were a true Gentleman. |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to footstep For This Useful Post: |
February 10th, 2017, 06:55 AM | #3328 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 4,192
Thanks: 48,676
Thanked 49,166 Times in 4,188 Posts
|
Wish granted. He gives up his evil ways, addresses everyone politely, develops impeccable manners, and does a 180 in his attitude toward the world.
However, his Christian advisors tell him that gentlemen do not look at porn. So he signs the Anti-Pornography and Pervert Act into law. And gets all of our allied countries to go along. So you are not safe in France. All porn is immediately banned. No nudie mags, no online porn, nothing. And it's 10 years in prison or "special therapy" if you get caught with any. Inevitably, one of your "friends" blabs to the Porn Police about your secret collection. You are caught without delay, and hoping to avoid years of sodomy at the hands of well-endowed inmates decide to opt for the "special therapy" instead. You spend weeks strapped into a special chair looking at an endless slideshow of pictures. Whenever a picture of a naked woman appears, a brutal electric shock is administered to your balls and penis. When you are finally pronounced "cured", you stagger out into the sunshine, see a woman in short shorts, and promptly fall to the ground crying and pissing in your pants. Ouch. I wish for a box of magical chocolates so good, eating each piece is as pleasurable as having an orgasm.
__________________
So much porn, so little time... |
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to bowlinggreen For This Useful Post: |
February 10th, 2017, 09:44 AM | #3329 | |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Land Of Glorious Leader
Posts: 30,341
Thanks: 286,789
Thanked 386,142 Times in 30,297 Posts
|
Quote:
I wish to have a FTL Starship with all the luxuries and crewed by bevy of Starfleet's most beautiful lady officers. Since it is FTL I can outrun any potential danger and see a great deal of the universe. |
|
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Sir Honkers For This Useful Post: |
February 10th, 2017, 01:21 PM | #3330 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 59,891
Thanks: 1,328,987
Thanked 707,171 Times in 60,064 Posts
|
Wish granted. You are cruising through our galaxy at warp 9.5. At this particular moment you are having nooky with one of the beautiful huge breasted female officers in your ready room. Just then a space vortex opens up and there is a Borg cube heading towards you. Your shields go up and the first officer signals Red Alert. You run out of your room half dressed and then you hear over the intercom: "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile." You say to your first officer. "Let's get outta here, but too late the Borg ship has trapped your ship with their tractor beam. Just then a boarding party of Borg drones appears on your bridge. Your officers fire their phasers at them, but their shields protect them. The Borg fire their weapons and you all become unconscious. You wake up on the Borg ship transformed into new Borg drones. The wonderful life you had is now kaput, and you will remain an automaton forever!
I wish I was a T-Rex in Sydney, Australia creating mayhem and eating all the citizens. |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to trailmaster For This Useful Post: |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|