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May 13th, 2009, 09:37 AM | #121 |
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Politicians (no way! WAY indeed) who get caught claiming for things they shouldn't have been claiming for but instead of doing the decent thing (chequebook out, money paid back, never heard from again) do one of two things:
1) Sheepishly admit that they made a boo-boo and then go all coy and curly and say "but I didn't do anyfink that was against the ROOLZ." Hmm, these rules you mention, the rules that govern what politicians are allowed to claim for. Created by other politicians by any chance? Thought so. or even better 2) Bleat on about the invasion of their privacy, then attempt to file lawsuits against the journalists who publish the figures in the first place. Hang about. You've been caught claiming for wank mags and Horlicks and a Vietnamese maid because they are all absolutely essential for the "maintenance and upkeep" of your second (count 'em) home, which you occupy for the requisite 35 minutes and 17 seconds every 23 days in order to be eligible to call it a second home, all the while thereafter letting your parents live there scot free while claiming carer's allowance for them as patients in your charge. When a hack comes along and says "yea, but come on guv, play the game fairly", you are so affronted that he dare to question your fiscal outpourings that you sue him and all his kind for every miserable penny you can scrounge back. After all, it's not against the roolz (BTW I have purposefully and deliberately avoided using either names or political allegiance in the above ramble. In order to avoid any politics on this fine forum, I sit on a fence of political neutrality, smugly looking down on my supposed "superiors", while secretly wishing that I could find a way of letting the rest of the population reward me for doing my job) </rant> Definitely needs to switch to decaf.
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May 14th, 2009, 11:25 AM | #122 |
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Said this before in fact several pages back but truly dog muck on the pavement annoys the twitchy hell outta me , in fact almost as much as hearing about those pointless twitter twonks . Just walked back home and i`m not kidding there was so much doggy byproduct either side of the pavement at one point it looked like they`d formed a guard of honour for me !.
See that`s why i`m a cat man As they bury their business , or at the very least do it under the living room sofa where it can't be seen then distract you in the next room until the smell subsides
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May 14th, 2009, 03:35 PM | #123 |
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I'm sure this has been mentioned, people who won't answer their mobile phone until everyone has heard their hideous ringtone.
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May 14th, 2009, 05:48 PM | #124 |
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MP's using the expression "an error of judgment" as they try to convince the electorate that their fraudulent expenses claims were honest mistakes.
Imagine Joe Public doing the same. Did you know you were driving at 38mph in a 30mph area? Sorry officer it was an error in judgement. Do you know you have put a tin can in your garden waste. Sorry Ms. Council Recycling Enforcement officer it was an error in judgment. Why not try something similar and let us know if you get let off. |
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May 17th, 2009, 09:30 PM | #125 |
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Can anyone tell me why, when I visit my job centre plus, there are never any Member of Parliament jobs. Ever Ever. It must be the only job that never shows up in the job centre.
Good wages and exceptional expenses. Are the Jobcenter people keeping the vacancies for themselves. |
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May 17th, 2009, 10:11 PM | #126 | |
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Quote:
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May 18th, 2009, 09:53 AM | #127 |
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People with handsfree mobiles having a conversation in a public place.
Sorry you look a) stupid, b) stupid c) stupid and d) Mentally unstable. Leave the hands free in the car. |
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May 18th, 2009, 10:20 AM | #128 | |
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Quote:
I once saw a bloke walking around Castleford market with 2 earpices in
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May 18th, 2009, 10:47 AM | #129 |
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My theory is that some of those handy guys don't have a real telephone call in public. They just fake their mobile phone conversation to convey the impression that anyone is interested in them.
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May 18th, 2009, 06:40 PM | #130 |
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Hanging...on the telephone! (Blondie)
I have been plagued recently with nuisance phone calls. Several times the line is silent: I am not spooked because:
1, It is almost certainly a random call generator trying to put me through to some creep who wants to sell me uPVC double glazing or suppositories. 2, If it really is a nuisance caller he hasn't got the balls to speak so he can't be that much of a threat. If he ever intrudes into my flat I will carve him into oxo cubes. On other occasions it is a recorded message: Have you ever thought... Thought what: I dunno, I hung up already. Trouble is, every time the phone rings I have to get off my backside to answer it and I would prefer it only to ring if a real human being has something genuinely significant to say to me. |
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