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September 22nd, 2013, 04:59 PM
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#11 |
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Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
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These Syrian chemical weapons are really getting on peoples nerves.
Could this day get any worse ? First my ex got hit by a bus mounting the curb , which backs over her while she screamingly clings to life , and yet brutally mounts the pavement again aiming for her head. Then i lose my job at Stagecoach !
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September 22nd, 2013, 05:08 PM
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#12 |
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El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
Posts: 58,134
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Thanked 855,689 Times in 57,565 Posts
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What's the difference between The British Museum and My garage ?
The British Museum isn't full of dead hookers...
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September 22nd, 2013, 06:03 PM
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#13 |
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Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,559 Times in 69,067 Posts
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"You remember when you were giving birth" I said to my wife, "and you were screaming and shouting and saying we'd never have sex again ?"
"Yes" she responded, sheepishly. "Did you mean it ?" "Of course not, silly" she replied. "Good " i said, climbing onto the bed. "So ... if i just move this afterbirth a little to the left and you spread those legs a bit wider..."
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September 23rd, 2013, 01:57 PM
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#14 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The 19th hole
Posts: 58,117
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I'm going too hell
A husband and wife are lying in bed just talkin' about love, God, sex. The husband just wants too fuck  , but as usual the wife tries too turn it into a love thing  She makes a statement that marriage is a heavenly institution and God watches married couples having sex. So the husband, confused, repeats and asks "God watches married people having sex ?" The wife replies, "Well, God watches everything" The husband replies, "So we're just porn for God, he watches us and jerks off"
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September 24th, 2013, 10:15 AM
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#15 |
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Vintage Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: U.K
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Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down and use a lubricant. (Taken from Score Magazine). |
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September 25th, 2013, 12:19 AM
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#16 |
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Vintage Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Thanked 17,240 Times in 1,043 Posts
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Twisted jokes that will send us ALL to hell? What if we don't go on this thread...oh crap.
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September 25th, 2013, 07:37 AM
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#17 |
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El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
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Thanks: 772,635
Thanked 855,689 Times in 57,565 Posts
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Why do women have legs?
So They don't leave a trail like a snail....
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September 25th, 2013, 12:50 PM
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#18 |
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Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
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Officials have now confirmed that one thousand and seventy three people died during a recent factory fire in Pakistan.
The relatives of both families have asked to be allowed to grieve in private.
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September 25th, 2013, 02:42 PM
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#19 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The 19th hole
Posts: 58,117
Thanks: 449,711
Thanked 896,771 Times in 60,316 Posts
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My penis was in the Guinness Book of Records... till the librarian kicked me out.
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September 25th, 2013, 03:01 PM
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#20 |
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Vintage Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,053
Thanks: 20,906
Thanked 25,343 Times in 1,150 Posts
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Am I really a paedophile......just because I only sleep with pregnant women
hoping to get a blowjob from the foetus..... 
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Please feel free to PM me if any of my links go dead, I'm happy to re up as I can... |
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