Post your corny jokes - Page 1383

**bp666** · September 12th, 2018, 12:39 AM

to be frank, i'd have to change my name.

MaxJoker · September 12th, 2018, 01:01 PM

Oh gawd the Mrs has left me because claims I'm too insecure ,

No wait she's back ,

Turns out was just making a cup of tea.

**ball7** · September 12th, 2018, 02:02 PM

If money doesnt grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Aaron · September 12th, 2018, 09:18 PM

A chicken walks into a restaurant which specializes in exotic foods. He is given a table and a menu. It is full off offerings like frog leg, alligator, and rattle snake. The waitress comes over and asks if he is ready to order. He shakes his head and says, "Do you have anything that doesn't taste like me?"

**ball7** · September 13th, 2018, 09:00 AM

Daughter: What does gays mean?

Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way

Her: So what's 'penetrating gays'?

Me: Er... read me the whole sentence

Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze"

Me: Oh

-Andy Ryan

MaxJoker · September 13th, 2018, 12:22 PM

Why do the French only use one egg to make their omelettes ? ,

Because in France one egg is Oeuf.

What did the shy pebble wish ? ,

To be a little boulder.

Did you hear about David losing his ID while on holiday ? ,

Now everyone just calls him Dav.

**trailmaster** · September 13th, 2018, 12:23 PM

more Yo mamma jokes

Yo mamma's so stupid...
She thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mamma's so poor...
She chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.

Yo mamma's so fat...
She stepped on a scale and it said "To be continued"

Yo mamma's cooking is so nasty...
The flies got together and fixed the hole in the window screen.

Yo mamma's so fat...
I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

**mrfixit** · September 13th, 2018, 05:28 PM

**trailmaster** · September 14th, 2018, 12:57 PM

They're going to start playing porn at the fuel pumps...
This is so you can watch someone else being fc...ed at the same time as you.

Why do Japanese people have slanted eyes?
Because they're still squinting from the blast.

First thing this morning there was a tap on my door.
Funny sense of humor my plumber has.

Why don't black people go on cruises?
They're not falling for that one again.

I've just been to a Muslim birthday party.
The musical chairs was a bit slow but, fc..k me, the pass the parcel was quick.

I can't think of anything worse, after a night of drinking, than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how we met, or why they are dead.

**Mal Hombre** · September 14th, 2018, 03:31 PM

My surgeon is an amateur comedian, He always has Me in stitches..

September 12th, 2018, 01:01 PM	#13822
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Oh gawd the Mrs has left me because claims I'm too insecure , No wait she's back , Turns out was just making a cup of tea. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 13th, 2018, 12:22 PM	#13826
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Why do the French only use one egg to make their omelettes ? , Because in France one egg is Oeuf. What did the shy pebble wish ? , To be a little boulder. Did you hear about David losing his ID while on holiday ? , Now everyone just calls him Dav. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 13th, 2018, 05:28 PM	#13828
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,843 Thanked 114,814 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

September 14th, 2018, 03:31 PM	#13830
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,639 Thanked 855,707 Times in 57,565 Posts	My surgeon is an amateur comedian, He always has Me in stitches.. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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September 12th, 2018, 12:39 AM	#13821
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	to be frank, i'd have to change my name.

September 12th, 2018, 02:02 PM	#13823
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,982 Times in 15,730 Posts	If money doesnt grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

September 12th, 2018, 09:18 PM	#13824
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	A chicken walks into a restaurant which specializes in exotic foods. He is given a table and a menu. It is full off offerings like frog leg, alligator, and rattle snake. The waitress comes over and asks if he is ready to order. He shakes his head and says, "Do you have anything that doesn't taste like me?"

September 13th, 2018, 09:00 AM	#13825
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,982 Times in 15,730 Posts	Daughter: What does gays mean? Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way Her: So what's 'penetrating gays'? Me: Er... read me the whole sentence Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze" Me: Oh -Andy Ryan

September 13th, 2018, 12:23 PM	#13827
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,895 Thanks: 1,328,998 Thanked 707,194 Times in 60,069 Posts	more Yo mamma jokes Yo mamma's so stupid... She thought a quarterback was a refund. Yo mamma's so poor... She chases the garbage truck with a grocery list. Yo mamma's so fat... She stepped on a scale and it said "To be continued" Yo mamma's cooking is so nasty... The flies got together and fixed the hole in the window screen. Yo mamma's so fat... I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

September 14th, 2018, 12:57 PM	#13829
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,895 Thanks: 1,328,998 Thanked 707,194 Times in 60,069 Posts	They're going to start playing porn at the fuel pumps... This is so you can watch someone else being fc...ed at the same time as you. Why do Japanese people have slanted eyes? Because they're still squinting from the blast. First thing this morning there was a tap on my door. Funny sense of humor my plumber has. Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again. I've just been to a Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow but, fc..k me, the pass the parcel was quick. I can't think of anything worse, after a night of drinking, than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how we met, or why they are dead.