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May 4th, 2018, 06:20 PM | #13351 |
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I'd like to be a gynaecologist ,Those guys are always up for the craic..
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May 5th, 2018, 03:12 PM | #13352 |
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May 5th, 2018, 04:39 PM | #13353 |
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May 6th, 2018, 05:55 PM | #13354 |
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May 9th, 2018, 02:27 AM | #13355 |
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A blind rabbit and a blind snake were friends. One day the blind rabbit told the blind snake that he didn’t know what he was, because he couldn’t see. So he asked the snake for help in determining what he was.
The blind snake slithered up to the blind rabbit, felt it all over and said: “You have long, furry ears and a short little tail. You must be a rabbit.” The blind rabbit was delighted with the news, and agreed to repay the favour so that the blind snake could find out what he was. The blind rabbit felt the blind snake all over and finally declared: “You’re cold, you’re slimy and you don’t have any balls. You must be a banker.”
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May 9th, 2018, 11:08 AM | #13356 |
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Wittle Wabbit
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?" The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."
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May 10th, 2018, 05:46 PM | #13357 |
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Just seen that Wayne Rooney has been to visit Sir Alex Ferguson in hospital.
"His speech is improving, and he can now string a sentence together." Said Fergie..
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May 10th, 2018, 05:58 PM | #13358 |
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One day a woman was working at a s*erm bank when an armed and masked robber bursts in demanding money.
The woman has no money and says: “sir you do realize this is a s*erm bank right?” The man replies: “fine then take me to where you keep the sperm or I will shoot you” The girl directs him to the vault and the man says: “I want you to drink one.” Reluctantly the women drinks the s*erm and the man says: “drink another one”, so she does after she’s done the man pulls off his mask and says: “see honey it’s not that hard”.
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May 10th, 2018, 06:41 PM | #13359 |
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Me: Say “I am a man” after everything I say.
Friend: Alright. Me: You broke up with your girlfriend. Friend: I am a man. Me: You decided to get drunk. Friend: I am a man. Me: You went to the bar. Friend: I am a man. Me: You found a hot chick there. Friend: I am a man. Me: You invited her to your house and she said yes. Friend: I am a man. Me: You both came into your room and had sex. Friend: I am a man. Me: Next morning you wake up. Friend: I am a man. Me: And she says… Friend: I am a man.
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May 10th, 2018, 11:44 PM | #13360 |
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So I go to my doctor and he says to me, "You might need a bypass". I reply, "Maybe, the traffic's terrible on my road".
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