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Old 02-11-2018, 05:09 AM   #13331
maildude
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Me Being A Smartass Chapter 1: At The Checkout

Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag, sir?
Me: No. Just leave it in the carton.
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Old 02-11-2018, 07:04 AM   #13332
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Torres had died and gone to heaven
St. Peter had one question before he could let Torres enter the God's kingdom
"What is the name of god's son"
"Jesus"
"No. You have to go to the other place."
"But I Said Jesus"
"no, You said Hesus"
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Old 02-11-2018, 11:18 AM   #13333
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Meditation? Let me have a think about it.
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Old 02-11-2018, 04:37 PM   #13334
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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Old 02-11-2018, 06:11 PM   #13335
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Asked a member of the Flat Earth Society to describe the form of a sphere
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Old 02-12-2018, 10:39 PM   #13336
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I saw this sweet poor old lady fall down the stairs and hurt herself this morning. At least I assume she was poor because I didnít find more than 3 dollars in her wallet.
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Old 02-14-2018, 02:49 PM   #13337
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''Do you sell valentine cards that say:
'Sweetheart, you're the only one for me'. ''

''Of course''

''I'll take 16, please''
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Old 02-14-2018, 09:39 PM   #13338
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''And now for a registration of Sleeping Beauty on BBC TwoTwo''
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Old 02-15-2018, 12:31 AM   #13339
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As the Frog Prince said to his beloved:

Hoppy Valentine's Day!
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Old 02-15-2018, 10:27 AM   #13340
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I asked a LA call girl if she would take American Express?
She told me I could go as fast as I like.
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