Post your corny jokes - Page 1367

**trailmaster** · August 14th, 2018, 10:32 PM

Three men find a magic lamp: a black man, a Mexican, and a white man. They rub it and a genie comes out and says, "Since there are three of you, I will give you one wish each." The black man says, "I want me and all of my brothas to live in Africa where no one will bother us." Poof! All blacks were instantly teleported to Africa. The Mexican says, "I want me and all of my hombres to be back in Mexico." Poof! All Mexicans are back in Mexico.

The white man says, "So you're telling me all the niggers are back in Africa, and all the Spics are back in Mexico? I'll have a Coke."

**mrfixit** · August 15th, 2018, 02:33 AM

MaxJoker · August 15th, 2018, 04:46 PM

What fish goes best with custard ? ,

A jelly fish.

**bp666** · August 15th, 2018, 08:39 PM

I really liked my history professor and we even dated for a while but ending up breaking up. She just couldn't let go of the past.

**maildude** · August 15th, 2018, 11:56 PM

Ice Cream Some Day

A very, very elderly couple are sitting around the house one day...the old man smoking a pipe while his wife is knitting. Suddenly the old wife speaks up. "Henry! You know what I'd like, Henry? I'd like some ice cream. Go get me some ice cream, Henry!" So Henry slowly gets up and grabs his hat and jacket. "But, Henry...I don't want just ice cream. I want a sundae. Can you remember that, Henry? You'd better write it down." Grumbling, Henry grabs his keys. "Oh, and Henry...I want one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of chocolate. Can you remember that, Henry? Or should I write it down?" So Henry says, "No, no,no...I've got it. A sundae with chocolate and vanilla ice cream." Then the old wife says, "Oh...and Henry, I also want whipped cream and sprinkles. Don't forget the sprinkles, Henry. You should write all this down..." And Henry says, "No, I have it. A sundae with chocolate and vanilla ice cream, whipped cream and sprinkles." So Henry heads for the front door. As he's walking out the old wife yells, "And don't forget the nuts Henry!"
An hour goes by, and the old man returns, carrying a paper bag. He puts it down in front of his wife. She looks inside, and there are four bagels in there. So the old woman says, " I knew it. I knew you'd forget. Look! No cream cheese!!"

**mrfixit** · August 16th, 2018, 03:12 AM

**bfg9000** · August 16th, 2018, 02:00 PM

A farmer's wife asked her husband what he wanted for dinner. He wanted fried chicken for supper, so she went to the chicken coop to get a hen. She killed the hen and started to clean the feathers off of the bird. She got down to the pin feathers and was having trouble with it.

She thought of an idea. Her husband was growing a beard and wasn't using his Schick electric razor. She grabbed the razor and used it to get the pin feathers off of the bird. It worked so well that she told her husband about it and he was amazed.

They wrote a letter telling the Schick company about the incident and mailed it off. A week later, the Schick company wrote back to the couple and included a check for ten thousand dollars! The letter thanked them so much. The letter said that now they have three lines of electric razors, a Man's Schick, a Woman's Schick and now a Chicken Schick!

**PJayBr** · August 16th, 2018, 04:08 PM

A tree house is the ultimate insult.

You're saying, "I killed a friend of yours, please hold him for me..."

**captpike** · August 17th, 2018, 12:34 AM

MaxJoker · August 17th, 2018, 12:40 PM

I`m having to wait hours at the pharmacy to get my wife's medication to treat Trichotillomania ,

She'll be pulling her hair out by now.

August 15th, 2018, 02:33 AM	#13662
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,810 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

August 15th, 2018, 04:46 PM	#13663
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,517 Times in 69,067 Posts	What fish goes best with custard ? , A jelly fish. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 15th, 2018, 11:56 PM	#13665
maildude Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: In postal purgatory Posts: 760 Thanks: 1,162 Thanked 14,111 Times in 748 Posts	Ice Cream Some Day A very, very elderly couple are sitting around the house one day...the old man smoking a pipe while his wife is knitting. Suddenly the old wife speaks up. "Henry! You know what I'd like, Henry? I'd like some ice cream. Go get me some ice cream, Henry!" So Henry slowly gets up and grabs his hat and jacket. "But, Henry...I don't want just ice cream. I want a sundae. Can you remember that, Henry? You'd better write it down." Grumbling, Henry grabs his keys. "Oh, and Henry...I want one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of chocolate. Can you remember that, Henry? Or should I write it down?" So Henry says, "No, no,no...I've got it. A sundae with chocolate and vanilla ice cream." Then the old wife says, "Oh...and Henry, I also want whipped cream and sprinkles. Don't forget the sprinkles, Henry. You should write all this down..." And Henry says, "No, I have it. A sundae with chocolate and vanilla ice cream, whipped cream and sprinkles." So Henry heads for the front door. As he's walking out the old wife yells, "And don't forget the nuts Henry!" An hour goes by, and the old man returns, carrying a paper bag. He puts it down in front of his wife. She looks inside, and there are four bagels in there. So the old woman says, " I knew it. I knew you'd forget. Look! No cream cheese!!" __________________ LET FREEDOM WAIT

August 16th, 2018, 03:12 AM	#13666
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,810 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

August 16th, 2018, 02:00 PM	#13667
bfg9000 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly Posts: 683 Thanks: 11,930 Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts	A farmer's wife asked her husband what he wanted for dinner. He wanted fried chicken for supper, so she went to the chicken coop to get a hen. She killed the hen and started to clean the feathers off of the bird. She got down to the pin feathers and was having trouble with it. She thought of an idea. Her husband was growing a beard and wasn't using his Schick electric razor. She grabbed the razor and used it to get the pin feathers off of the bird. It worked so well that she told her husband about it and he was amazed. They wrote a letter telling the Schick company about the incident and mailed it off. A week later, the Schick company wrote back to the couple and included a check for ten thousand dollars! The letter thanked them so much. The letter said that now they have three lines of electric razors, a Man's Schick, a Woman's Schick and now a Chicken Schick! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson

August 14th, 2018, 10:32 PM	#13661
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,888 Thanks: 1,328,972 Thanked 707,169 Times in 60,062 Posts	Three men find a magic lamp: a black man, a Mexican, and a white man. They rub it and a genie comes out and says, "Since there are three of you, I will give you one wish each." The black man says, "I want me and all of my brothas to live in Africa where no one will bother us." Poof! All blacks were instantly teleported to Africa. The Mexican says, "I want me and all of my hombres to be back in Mexico." Poof! All Mexicans are back in Mexico. The white man says, "So you're telling me all the niggers are back in Africa, and all the Spics are back in Mexico? I'll have a Coke."

August 15th, 2018, 08:39 PM	#13664
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	I really liked my history professor and we even dated for a while but ending up breaking up. She just couldn't let go of the past.

August 16th, 2018, 04:08 PM	#13668
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,309 Thanks: 41,569 Thanked 13,689 Times in 1,280 Posts	A tree house is the ultimate insult. You're saying, "I killed a friend of yours, please hold him for me..."

August 17th, 2018, 12:34 AM	#13669
captpike Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 80,303 Thanked 47,306 Times in 1,164 Posts

August 17th, 2018, 12:40 PM	#13670
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,517 Times in 69,067 Posts	I`m having to wait hours at the pharmacy to get my wife's medication to treat Trichotillomania , She'll be pulling her hair out by now. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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