|
Best Porn Sites | Live Sex | Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar | Mark Forums Read |
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here! |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
August 14th, 2018, 10:32 PM | #13661 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 59,888
Thanks: 1,328,972
Thanked 707,169 Times in 60,062 Posts
|
Three men find a magic lamp: a black man, a Mexican, and a white man. They rub it and a genie comes out and says, "Since there are three of you, I will give you one wish each." The black man says, "I want me and all of my brothas to live in Africa where no one will bother us." Poof! All blacks were instantly teleported to Africa. The Mexican says, "I want me and all of my hombres to be back in Mexico." Poof! All Mexicans are back in Mexico.
The white man says, "So you're telling me all the niggers are back in Africa, and all the Spics are back in Mexico? I'll have a Coke." |
August 15th, 2018, 02:33 AM | #13662 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Elm Street
Posts: 9,401
Thanks: 165,774
Thanked 114,810 Times in 9,416 Posts
|
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator? |
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to mrfixit For This Useful Post: |
August 15th, 2018, 04:46 PM | #13663 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,517 Times in 69,067 Posts
|
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: |
August 15th, 2018, 08:39 PM | #13664 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,073
Thanks: 77,520
Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts
|
I really liked my history professor and we even dated for a while but ending up breaking up. She just couldn't let go of the past.
|
August 15th, 2018, 11:56 PM | #13665 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In postal purgatory
Posts: 760
Thanks: 1,162
Thanked 14,111 Times in 748 Posts
|
Ice Cream Some Day
A very, very elderly couple are sitting around the house one day...the old man smoking a pipe while his wife is knitting. Suddenly the old wife speaks up. "Henry! You know what I'd like, Henry? I'd like some ice cream. Go get me some ice cream, Henry!" So Henry slowly gets up and grabs his hat and jacket. "But, Henry...I don't want just ice cream. I want a sundae. Can you remember that, Henry? You'd better write it down." Grumbling, Henry grabs his keys. "Oh, and Henry...I want one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of chocolate. Can you remember that, Henry? Or should I write it down?" So Henry says, "No, no,no...I've got it. A sundae with chocolate and vanilla ice cream." Then the old wife says, "Oh...and Henry, I also want whipped cream and sprinkles. Don't forget the sprinkles, Henry. You should write all this down..." And Henry says, "No, I have it. A sundae with chocolate and vanilla ice cream, whipped cream and sprinkles." So Henry heads for the front door. As he's walking out the old wife yells, "And don't forget the nuts Henry!" An hour goes by, and the old man returns, carrying a paper bag. He puts it down in front of his wife. She looks inside, and there are four bagels in there. So the old woman says, " I knew it. I knew you'd forget. Look! No cream cheese!!"
__________________
LET FREEDOM WAIT |
August 16th, 2018, 03:12 AM | #13666 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Elm Street
Posts: 9,401
Thanks: 165,774
Thanked 114,810 Times in 9,416 Posts
|
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator? |
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to mrfixit For This Useful Post: |
August 16th, 2018, 02:00 PM | #13667 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly
Posts: 683
Thanks: 11,930
Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts
|
A farmer's wife asked her husband what he wanted for dinner. He wanted fried chicken for supper, so she went to the chicken coop to get a hen. She killed the hen and started to clean the feathers off of the bird. She got down to the pin feathers and was having trouble with it.
She thought of an idea. Her husband was growing a beard and wasn't using his Schick electric razor. She grabbed the razor and used it to get the pin feathers off of the bird. It worked so well that she told her husband about it and he was amazed. They wrote a letter telling the Schick company about the incident and mailed it off. A week later, the Schick company wrote back to the couple and included a check for ten thousand dollars! The letter thanked them so much. The letter said that now they have three lines of electric razors, a Man's Schick, a Woman's Schick and now a Chicken Schick!
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson |
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to bfg9000 For This Useful Post: |
August 16th, 2018, 04:08 PM | #13668 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand......
Posts: 1,309
Thanks: 41,569
Thanked 13,689 Times in 1,280 Posts
|
A tree house is the ultimate insult.
You're saying, "I killed a friend of yours, please hold him for me..." |
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to PJayBr For This Useful Post: |
August 17th, 2018, 12:34 AM | #13669 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina
Posts: 1,175
Thanks: 80,303
Thanked 47,306 Times in 1,164 Posts
|
|
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to captpike For This Useful Post: |
August 17th, 2018, 12:40 PM | #13670 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,517 Times in 69,067 Posts
|
I`m having to wait hours at the pharmacy to get my wife's medication to treat Trichotillomania ,
She'll be pulling her hair out by now.
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|