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September 27th, 2017, 07:26 PM | #12721 |
El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
Posts: 58,134
Thanks: 772,635
Thanked 855,649 Times in 57,562 Posts
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Why did Annakin Skywalker cross the road ?
To get to the Dark Side
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September 28th, 2017, 12:56 PM | #12722 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,268
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Thanked 26,750 Times in 2,159 Posts
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Hugh M Hefner. The one person about whom you can't say "Well, he's in a better place now..."
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September 28th, 2017, 08:21 PM | #12723 |
El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
Posts: 58,134
Thanks: 772,635
Thanked 855,649 Times in 57,562 Posts
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I was thinking of buying a 12yr old scotch today but then I thought, Fcuk it,Let Him buy His own..
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September 29th, 2017, 02:34 PM | #12724 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Sleepy Old Sussex, England
Posts: 1,157
Thanks: 20,218
Thanked 18,256 Times in 1,144 Posts
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What's a wog? A wump of wood.
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If you can ID a Model in one of my posts, let me know, I'll update it, and credit you too.
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September 29th, 2017, 09:29 PM | #12725 | |
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,483
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Thanked 55,115 Times in 1,505 Posts
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Quote:
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September 29th, 2017, 11:09 PM | #12726 |
Veteran Member
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Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts
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So my wife tells me that her car has broken down. I say to her, "Call the AA, I've got it with my job and you're covered". Two hours later I ask her, "Who are these people in the lounge who keep telling me they're alcoholics?"
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September 30th, 2017, 10:26 PM | #12727 |
Vintage Member
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A lawyer, a surgeon, and an architect are arguing in a pub one day, about who has the smartest dog. The argument got so heated that the trio agreed to place a $1000 wager, and that they would gather in the pub's back room with their dogs the next weekend for a contest.
The weekend came, and in walked the three, each with their dogs and the props for the activities they would perform. First up was the architect. "Go at it, Rover!" commanded the architect. Immediately, his dog sprang into action, and built a scale-model of the Empire State Building out of toothpicks. Not to be outdone, the surgeon brought his canine forward. "Go at it, Spike!" he shouted, and the pooch knelt over a pregnant sow and performed a perfect Cesarean Section. Unimpressed, the lawyer stepped forward. "Okay, Bandit. Get it done!" he said. The lawyer's dog proceeded to fuck the other two dogs and take the $1000.
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LET FREEDOM WAIT |
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October 1st, 2017, 07:21 AM | #12728 |
Vintage Member
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Location: North West UK
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Thanked 17,680 Times in 563 Posts
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John Lennon: He wear no shoeshine, he got toe-jam football, he got monkey finger, he shoot Coca Cola.
Police Sketch Artist: Um, what?
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October 1st, 2017, 10:07 AM | #12729 |
Vintage Member
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I have just asked the Man from Del Monte for the name of his favourite Prog Rock group. Still waiting for an answer. :P
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October 1st, 2017, 12:37 PM | #12730 |
Vintage Member
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Location: From Russia with love
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Thanked 25,344 Times in 1,425 Posts
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Some woman ran over me in her car this morning, she argued it wasn't her fault..
I was still in bed at the time. |
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