Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 12

**rustler** · November 5th, 2013, 05:45 PM

A rascist male nurse in a hospital absolutely refuses to have anything to do with coloured patients, and everybody is absolutely fed up with him. So one day the Sister in charge says to him, "Right in the bathroom is a black baby, and you are going to bathe it!"
"No I'm not !" he stubbornly says.
"Right, well if you don't, you're fired, here and now!" retorts the sister. So reluctantly he traipses off to the bathroom.........
An hour later he still hasn't returned, so the puzzled sister goes to check. Horrified she finds the nurse with two fingers stuck up the baby's nostrils and he's dragging the baby to and fro in the bath.
"That's not how you bath a baby", she screams.
"It is when the water's this fcuking hot!", he replies.

**rockernut** · November 5th, 2013, 08:11 PM

What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?
Throw your dirty washing in!

What's the best thing about schizophrenia?
It turns a wank into an orgy!

A Mongoloid husband comes home from work and sits down at the kitchen table, hungry for dinner. Soon enough, his Mongoloid wife puts down in front of him a plate with a piece of meat on it, nothing else.
"Darling, where are the vegetables?" he asks.
"Oh," says his wife, "they haven't got back from school yet!"

**rustler** · November 6th, 2013, 06:17 AM

Speaking as a cannibal, I try to eat as many gays and retards as possible.

It helps me to get my 5 fruits and vegetables a day!

MaxJoker · November 6th, 2013, 04:32 PM

"My wife found a false widow spider in the bath last night" I told Ahmed at work today.

"What's that then? " he asked.

"It`s a big white tub we sit in to wash ourselves " I replied "How about you get one".

Yesterday India launched a rocket to Mars.

They could have gotten into my good books by just launching a few at Pakistan.

What's the difference between a gay and a microwave ?

A microwave won't brown your sausage.

**rustler** · November 6th, 2013, 06:01 PM

Did you know.....

It's been revealed that all the latest research shows more money is now spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, the elderly will all have perky tits and stiff cocks, but absolutely no fcuking idea why!

**rustler** · November 7th, 2013, 09:06 AM

I had my dreams totally crushed yesterday.
It turns out that the newspaper headline 'Village still looking for paedophile' wasn't a job vacancy.

MaxJoker · November 7th, 2013, 04:39 PM

Well this is the tenth year in the row i have proudly won branch of the year award for best results Slimmers World manager , plus the cash bonus which comes with it.

Gawd i so love having my branch in Ethiopia.

My daughter is so ungrateful and spoilt, she`s never once appreciated any of the daily gifts i`ve given her over the years.

Ok i called them gifts.

The authorities are using the term 'Rapes' .

Still what`s in a name.

My heavily pregnant wife asked me for sex last night.

"I'm not sure that i want to, Do you think there's a chance that my cock might rub against the baby ?".

"No" she replied.

"Ok, i'll leave it then" I said.

**rustler** · November 7th, 2013, 06:47 PM

A Teenage boy and girl are neckin' on the sofa after her mum and dad have gone to bed............
All's well until the boy says," I gotta go to the loo". "You cant", says the girl, "it's upstairs and you'll wake mum and dad."
After a few more minutes the boy says, "Look, I've really gotta go to the loo, I'm desperate", cries the boy. "Well you can't, you'll just have go in the kitchen and use the sink", says the girl. So the boy goes off into the kitchen. After a couple of minutes he yells out, "You got any paper?"

**rustler** · November 8th, 2013, 11:13 AM

Evidently a cure has now been found for homosexuality.

Lip balm - you rub it on your arseh*le and it keeps the chaps away!

**Mal Hombre** · November 8th, 2013, 02:49 PM

What do Frank Bruno and Freddie Mercury have in common ?
They were both beaten around the ring...

November 5th, 2013, 05:45 PM	#111
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	A rascist male nurse in a hospital absolutely refuses to have anything to do with coloured patients, and everybody is absolutely fed up with him. So one day the Sister in charge says to him, "Right in the bathroom is a black baby, and you are going to bathe it!" "No I'm not !" he stubbornly says. "Right, well if you don't, you're fired, here and now!" retorts the sister. So reluctantly he traipses off to the bathroom......... An hour later he still hasn't returned, so the puzzled sister goes to check. Horrified she finds the nurse with two fingers stuck up the baby's nostrils and he's dragging the baby to and fro in the bath. "That's not how you bath a baby", she screams. "It is when the water's this fcuking hot!", he replies. __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 6th, 2013, 06:17 AM	#113
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	Speaking as a cannibal, I try to eat as many gays and retards as possible. It helps me to get my 5 fruits and vegetables a day! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 6th, 2013, 04:32 PM	#114
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,511 Times in 69,067 Posts	"My wife found a false widow spider in the bath last night" I told Ahmed at work today. "What's that then? " he asked. "It`s a big white tub we sit in to wash ourselves " I replied "How about you get one". Yesterday India launched a rocket to Mars. They could have gotten into my good books by just launching a few at Pakistan. What's the difference between a gay and a microwave ? A microwave won't brown your sausage. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 6th, 2013, 06:01 PM	#115
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	Did you know..... It's been revealed that all the latest research shows more money is now spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, the elderly will all have perky tits and stiff cocks, but absolutely no fcuking idea why! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 7th, 2013, 09:06 AM	#116
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	I had my dreams totally crushed yesterday. It turns out that the newspaper headline 'Village still looking for paedophile' wasn't a job vacancy. __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 5th, 2013, 08:11 PM	#112
rockernut Veteran Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Stockholm, Sweden Posts: 6,958 Thanks: 69,662 Thanked 73,320 Times in 6,969 Posts	What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath? Throw your dirty washing in! What's the best thing about schizophrenia? It turns a wank into an orgy! A Mongoloid husband comes home from work and sits down at the kitchen table, hungry for dinner. Soon enough, his Mongoloid wife puts down in front of him a plate with a piece of meat on it, nothing else. "Darling, where are the vegetables?" he asks. "Oh," says his wife, "they haven't got back from school yet!"

November 7th, 2013, 04:39 PM	#117
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,511 Times in 69,067 Posts	Well this is the tenth year in the row i have proudly won branch of the year award for best results Slimmers World manager , plus the cash bonus which comes with it. Gawd i so love having my branch in Ethiopia. My daughter is so ungrateful and spoilt, she`s never once appreciated any of the daily gifts i`ve given her over the years. Ok i called them gifts. The authorities are using the term 'Rapes' . Still what`s in a name. My heavily pregnant wife asked me for sex last night. "I'm not sure that i want to, Do you think there's a chance that my cock might rub against the baby ?". "No" she replied. "Ok, i'll leave it then" I said. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 7th, 2013, 06:47 PM	#118
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	A Teenage boy and girl are neckin' on the sofa after her mum and dad have gone to bed............ All's well until the boy says," I gotta go to the loo". "You cant", says the girl, "it's upstairs and you'll wake mum and dad." After a few more minutes the boy says, "Look, I've really gotta go to the loo, I'm desperate", cries the boy. "Well you can't, you'll just have go in the kitchen and use the sink", says the girl. So the boy goes off into the kitchen. After a couple of minutes he yells out, "You got any paper?" __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 8th, 2013, 11:13 AM	#119
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	Evidently a cure has now been found for homosexuality. Lip balm - you rub it on your arsehle and it keeps the chaps away! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.*

November 8th, 2013, 02:49 PM	#120
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,127 Thanks: 772,558 Thanked 855,623 Times in 57,558 Posts	What do Frank Bruno and Freddie Mercury have in common ? They were both beaten around the ring... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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