|
Best Porn Sites | Live Sex | Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar |
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here! |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
November 23rd, 2009, 03:23 PM | #1 |
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The 19th hole
Posts: 58,135
Thanks: 449,839
Thanked 896,924 Times in 60,334 Posts
|
Darwin Awards.
These are Awards handed out too those who were good enough too remove themselves from society for good in the stupidest ways imaginable
(27 May 2004, Italy) When Peraldo found sticks of old dynamite in an abandoned stable on the hill above his vineyard, he decided to bury the problem. Some might think that burying unstable dynamite would be...unwise. But not Peraldo, a 67-year-old retired entrepreneur, who had been an explosives expert in the army. He had also worked as a licensed "fuochino" in charge of explosives at construction sites prior to his retirement. He knew the ways of things that go boom. This dynamite had been sitting around for some time, decaying and sweating highly unstable nitroglycerin. Peraldo carefully placed the high explosives in a hole thirty meters away from the stable, and gently covered them with loose earth. Apparently the mound was a little too high to be aesthetically attractive, so Peraldo began patting it down with his hands... The massive blast rocked the entire town of Chiavenna. Police rushed to the vineyard to investigate. Peraldo was found torn to shreds, but miraculously, still alive and able to explain what had happened before he died from internal injuries. (31 July 2009, South Carolina) Two disguised men entered the Sprint store on Sparkleberry Lane, pulled out guns, and stole wallets, purses, and credit cards before ordering the employees into a bathroom. Both men fled, but they could not flee from their own stupidity. 24-year-old James Thomas had disguised himself by spray-painting his own face. Yes, in order to conceal his identity during the robbery, Thomas covered his skin with paint--a toxic substance with well muttknown inhalation risks. He began having trouble breathing (surprise!) and died wheezing shortly after the robbery took place. Witnesses were certain as to the identity of their assailant; had he lived, he would have been charged with armed robbery. (5 September 2009, Oregon) Jake reached the summit of Saddle Mountain, and then and there he informed his friends that he had planned to make a controlled slide down the cliff face. He would meet up with them in the parking lot or on the trail below. Most folks are satisfied with the risks and rewards of dune sliding, and the inevitable 150-foot tumble and a broken limb. Jake, 18, decided to 'git-r-dun' down a thousand-foot cliff. He slid pell-mell down the cliff--and what was intended to be a controlled rockslide ended abrubptly 1000 feet below the summit, when his body came to rest in a steep ravine. Friends were shocked. "We are shocked," they said, "because he is always doing stuff like this and coming out smiling." Due to the hazardous terrain, recovery workers were not able to reach the body until 36 hours laterz when Clatsop County Rescue and Portland Mountain Rescue teams confirmed the death. For a good laugh click here Darwin Awards
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 45 Users Say Thank You to Estreeter For This Useful Post: | AkaPeter, amantpoche, blondifan, blueballsdc, botogames, captpike, Carrot74, Clarisworkz, edamps, el Mario, electrofreak, fredzeppelin, Futuro, Glen Quagmire, Grey Wolf, iufrenchman, jomama, kiwi, kolzig37, Mal Hombre, maxivic, mgpw4me, mjefferys1, mrfixit, NIN, orangeroughy, quisestu, rewbear, ruffroundedges, rustler, RyderKnightley, sandhunter, SanteeFats, scoundrel, slisse, SpEffects, tabler, TommySwiftJr., trailmaster, tygrkhat40, vo1v0d, volva, Wal, wimbo77, windymiller |
|
November 23rd, 2009, 09:37 PM | #2 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 682
Thanks: 955
Thanked 18,929 Times in 753 Posts
|
Hehe.
Stupid people are/were fun.
__________________
Blowjob Thread To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Wal For This Useful Post: |
November 23rd, 2009, 11:05 PM | #3 |
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Motor City, USA
Posts: 70
Thanks: 4,221
Thanked 545 Times in 56 Posts
|
always liked these whenever I see 'em.
|
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to orangeroughy For This Useful Post: |
November 23rd, 2009, 11:48 PM | #4 |
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The 19th hole
Posts: 58,135
Thanks: 449,839
Thanked 896,924 Times in 60,334 Posts
|
(May 2001, Croatia) A college student dropped the ball when a hand grenade exploded while he juggled it at a party in Vidovci. Six students watching him were also injured. A spectator is usually disqualified from winning a Darwin Award caused by another's idiocy, but this audience should have known better than to gape at a man juggling explosives. The six onlookers earn Honorable Mentions for their disregard of common sense, and the juggler wins a Darwin for his lethal stupidity.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 34 Users Say Thank You to Estreeter For This Useful Post: | amantpoche, blondifan, blueballsdc, botogames, Carrot74, Clarisworkz, edamps, electrofreak, Glen Quagmire, Grey Wolf, iufrenchman, jomama, kiwi, kolzig37, LowerCrack, Mal Hombre, mgpw4me, mjefferys1, mrfixit, NIN, rewbear, ruffroundedges, rustler, sandhunter, scoundrel, slisse, SpEffects, tabler, TommySwiftJr., trailmaster, tygrkhat40, vo1v0d, wimbo77, windymiller |
November 24th, 2009, 10:29 PM | #5 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,109
Thanks: 6,188
Thanked 22,399 Times in 1,260 Posts
|
The one that makes me chuckle.
The film-maker who was shooting a team of stunt parachute divers. He followed them out of the plane. He swiftly realised that he jumped without a parachute |
The Following 26 Users Say Thank You to steamjon For This Useful Post: |
November 24th, 2009, 10:35 PM | #6 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: England
Posts: 26,239
Thanks: 162,401
Thanked 278,503 Times in 26,184 Posts
|
The one I remember was from Vietnam and went something like this:
''When his friends told him that the handgrenade was dangerous, Ngoyen was so convinced that it was too old, green and rusty to explode that, to prove that his friends were wrong, he put the grenade into his mouth and removed the pin. Ngoyen's friends were right. Ngoyen was wrong.'' Oh dear.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 30 Users Say Thank You to scoundrel For This Useful Post: | 19gc19, amantpoche, blueballsdc, botogames, edamps, electrofreak, Estreeter, Glen Quagmire, Grey Wolf, iufrenchman, jomama, kiwi, kolzig37, LowerCrack, Mal Hombre, mgpw4me, mrfixit, NIN, rewbear, ruffroundedges, rustler, sandhunter, slisse, SpEffects, tabler, TommySwiftJr., trailmaster, tygrkhat40, wimbo77, windymiller |
November 26th, 2009, 08:12 PM | #7 |
El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
Posts: 58,144
Thanks: 772,732
Thanked 855,811 Times in 57,574 Posts
|
I don't know if this is relevant,but I remember the man who was shagging a chicken in a cave when the roof fell in,killing them both.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 29 Users Say Thank You to Mal Hombre For This Useful Post: | amantpoche, blueballsdc, botogames, Carrot74, edamps, electrofreak, Estreeter, Glen Quagmire, Grey Wolf, iufrenchman, jomama, kiwi, kolzig37, LowerCrack, mgpw4me, mrfixit, NIN, rewbear, ruffroundedges, rustler, sandhunter, scoundrel, SpEffects, tabler, TommySwiftJr., trailmaster, tygrkhat40, wimbo77, windymiller |
November 27th, 2009, 02:24 AM | #8 | |
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The 19th hole
Posts: 58,135
Thanks: 449,839
Thanked 896,924 Times in 60,334 Posts
|
Quote:
Darwin had his theory of evolution, and if that person was trying too contribute too evolution then it's a good thing the roof caved in, what an idiot
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
|
The Following 26 Users Say Thank You to Estreeter For This Useful Post: |
January 2nd, 2010, 01:17 PM | #9 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 238
Thanks: 1,676
Thanked 2,536 Times in 228 Posts
|
2009 Darwin Awards
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions: 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. 'Understandably', he shot her. 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. 5.. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer.... $15 [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?] 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER] 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. |
The Following 37 Users Say Thank You to iufrenchman For This Useful Post: | AkaPeter, blondifan, blueballsdc, BondJmsBond, Carrot74, Clarisworkz, edamps, electrofreak, Engine-X, Estreeter, Ghaleon, Glen Quagmire, Grey Wolf, jomama, loony, LowerCrack, Mal Hombre, mgpw4me, mjefferys1, mrfixit, NIN, PatentHappy, rewbear, ruffroundedges, rustler, sandhunter, SanteeFats, scoundrel, slisse, SpEffects, TCO95, TommySwiftJr., trailmaster, tygrkhat40, vo1v0d, wimbo77, windymiller |
January 4th, 2010, 09:49 PM | #10 |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 298
Thanks: 1,457
Thanked 2,842 Times in 294 Posts
|
I dont know if it was ever connected to the Darwin awards but I remember the story of a guy who replaced the windows of his car with bullet proof glass and persuaded his friend to take a shot at him while he sat safely inside the car. He never realised, though his friend soon did, that he had forgotten to wind up the window.
|
The Following 25 Users Say Thank You to windymiller For This Useful Post: |
|
|