insults / put downs

corsair · August 6th, 2012, 04:21 PM

OK, All - Here is my first attempt at starting a thread. Did various and sundry searches, but didn't get any relevant hits.

I'm looking for your favorite insults. Insults in languages other than English are welcome (bonus points if you include a phonetic pronunciation).

My personal favorites are very rarely verbalized, and only then when I am absolutely sure that I can run faster than the person that I am insulting. This is getting more and more difficult as the years pass.

On to my faves:

"The best part of you ran down your mother's leg."

"I would have been your father, but the dog beat me over the fence."

On a milder note:

"He couldn't find his ass with both hands tied behind his back."

And, of course, the ultimate:
"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries."

Regards from Florida,
Corsair

**chris chunt** · May 14th, 2014, 01:56 PM

any funny insults out there that anyone would like to share ?
heres 3 to get the ball rolling .

so stupid they make make two short planks look like a computer
face like a blind cobblers thumb
fanny like a hippos yawn

come to think of it them 3 is an exact description of my last girlfriend ?

anybody else got some funny insults out there ?

**electile disfunction** · May 14th, 2014, 02:26 PM

I don't like insults or insulting people but I admit that I have met people that, amazingly, fit these two descriptions:

She can't count her tits and get the same answer twice.

He should be disqualified from the human race for pushing.

**old alal** · May 14th, 2014, 03:29 PM

I worry about him, he's breathing my air.

**tygrkhat40** · May 14th, 2014, 03:38 PM

If dumb was dirt, he'd cover an acre and a half.

**luddite** · May 15th, 2014, 05:38 AM

This man is depriving a village of it's idiot.

**jerquer** · May 15th, 2014, 05:41 AM

A few from my first boss...

If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his fucking hat off.

He shot his brains out the eye of his cock.

That bastard would steal the cross off Christ.

He's so stingy he'd pick the peanuts out of shit.

**old alal** · May 15th, 2014, 09:25 AM

He'd steal the bridle off a nightmare

**NIN** · May 15th, 2014, 11:24 AM

That fu<ker is so dim, when he walks in the room he makes it go dark.

..and not really a put down, but a remark a Turkish friend makes which makes me grin ,

"shut the fuck off, fckn dickhed"

**jerquer** · May 15th, 2014, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NIN

...and not really a put down, but a remark a Turkish friend makes which makes me grin ,

"shut the fuck off, fckn dickhed"

Reminds me of this Turk...

From the transcript of a pre-trial hearing that took place in a criminal court in Adelaide, Australia, before Judge Roy Grubb. In the transcript below, a prisoner is Yusuf Biyikli, a Turkish immigrant charged with "assault occasioning actual bodily harm" - Mr Smart is the attorney for the Crown.

(The charge is read)

PRISONER: Shut up, fucking poofter. You poofter, thank you.

HIS HONOR: You just keep quiet, we will have a word with you in a moment.

PRISONER: Fuck to you. All right, you poofter. All right, I fuck you. That is answer.

HIS HONOR: It is said that you assaulted....

PRISONER: Fuck the English, fuck the colony, all right.

HIS HONOR: If you don't shut up.....

PRISONER: Fuck the judge too. That is not true.

HIS HONOR: Do we assume this is a plea of not guilty?

MR SMART: Yes, I think we can assume that.

PRISONER: I fuck you, answer you, stuff you, poofter. Is that enough for you answer?

HIS HONOR: That is no answer, but I take it as a plea of not guilty. In view of the outrageous outburst from the accused, I assume that the torrent of language from him is a plea of not guilty to each count. Remanded for trial. Has someone been imprudent enough to grant a bail agreement?

MR SMART: I hesitate to ask him.

PRISONER: Fuck you.

HIS HONOR: Do you wish to ask for bail?

PRISONER: You ask yourself bail, poofter. Now ask me.

HIS HONOR: I don't have to ask.

PRISONER: Fuck the bail, fuck Australia.

HIS HONOR: I take it, then, that you don't wish to seek bail.

PRISONER: Stuff that.

HIS HONOR: No application for bail. The accused is remanded for trial in custody.

PRISONER: Fucking bastard, poofter, melon-arse.

August 6th, 2012, 04:21 PM	#1
corsair Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Home of the U of F Gators! Posts: 56 Thanks: 1,842 Thanked 791 Times in 56 Posts	Favorite Insults, Slams, and Put-downs... OK, All - Here is my first attempt at starting a thread. Did various and sundry searches, but didn't get any relevant hits. I'm looking for your favorite insults. Insults in languages other than English are welcome (bonus points if you include a phonetic pronunciation). My personal favorites are very rarely verbalized, and only then when I am absolutely sure that I can run faster than the person that I am insulting. This is getting more and more difficult as the years pass. On to my faves: "The best part of you ran down your mother's leg." "I would have been your father, but the dog beat me over the fence." On a milder note: "He couldn't find his ass with both hands tied behind his back." And, of course, the ultimate: "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries." Regards from Florida, Corsair __________________ Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children...

May 14th, 2014, 01:56 PM	#2
chris chunt Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 2,805 Thanks: 7,946 Thanked 36,410 Times in 2,765 Posts	insults / put downs any funny insults out there that anyone would like to share ? heres 3 to get the ball rolling . so stupid they make make two short planks look like a computer face like a blind cobblers thumb fanny like a hippos yawn come to think of it them 3 is an exact description of my last girlfriend ? anybody else got some funny insults out there ?

May 14th, 2014, 03:29 PM	#4
old alal Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: UK Posts: 3,197 Thanks: 22,904 Thanked 35,082 Times in 3,165 Posts	I worry about him, he's breathing my air. __________________ Old alal's First Rule Of Breasts To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. When you've seen one pair of breasts.........you want to see every pair of breasts!

May 14th, 2014, 03:38 PM	#5
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 153,135 Times in 9,629 Posts	If dumb was dirt, he'd cover an acre and a half. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 15th, 2014, 05:38 AM	#6
luddite Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: N.D.G. Posts: 1,375 Thanks: 104,140 Thanked 12,287 Times in 1,336 Posts	This man is depriving a village of it's idiot. __________________ *Meanwhile, back at the oasis, the arabs were eating their dates...*

May 14th, 2014, 02:26 PM	#3
electile disfunction Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Somewhere flat, that's either hot, cold, or windy ... Canada? Posts: 1,966 Thanks: 42,100 Thanked 21,355 Times in 1,903 Posts	I don't like insults or insulting people but I admit that I have met people that, amazingly, fit these two descriptions: She can't count her tits and get the same answer twice. He should be disqualified from the human race for pushing.

May 15th, 2014, 05:41 AM	#7
jerquer Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 926 Thanks: 5,278 Thanked 31,755 Times in 934 Posts	A few from my first boss... If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his fucking hat off. He shot his brains out the eye of his cock. That bastard would steal the cross off Christ. He's so stingy he'd pick the peanuts out of shit. __________________ Jerquer "Life is too short to waste on silicon tits and brazilian waxes." To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. View my posts To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. , my thanks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. and my started threads To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. .

May 15th, 2014, 09:25 AM	#8
old alal Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: UK Posts: 3,197 Thanks: 22,904 Thanked 35,082 Times in 3,165 Posts	He'd steal the bridle off a nightmare __________________ Old alal's First Rule Of Breasts To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. When you've seen one pair of breasts.........you want to see every pair of breasts!

May 15th, 2014, 11:24 AM	#9
NIN Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,823 Thanks: 200,569 Thanked 131,967 Times in 9,045 Posts	Oldie but a good'n That fu<ker is so dim, when he walks in the room he makes it go dark. ..and not really a put down, but a remark a Turkish friend makes which makes me grin , "shut the fuck off, fckn dickhed"