Cannibalism , Well, Would You ? - Page 9

MaxJoker · March 17th, 2012, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alman

If someone was gonna kill me and eat me i think my last words would be "I hope im tasty!"

Realistically you might say " What`s that noise ? " , although more likely just " Aaaaarrrrgggggh !"

**RjG57** · March 17th, 2012, 11:21 AM

This thread would not be complete without this Python skit.

(Scene: The interior of a lifeboat. Seagulls are crying.)

Sailor #1: STILL no sign of land. How long is it?

Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.

Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?

Sailor #2: We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't eaten since the fifth day.

Sailor #5: We're done for, we're done for!

Sailor #1: Shut up, Morley.

Sailor #2: We've just got to keep hoping. Someone may find us.

Sailor #4: How we feeling, Captain?

Sailor #5: Not too good. I...I feel so weak.

Sailor #2: We can't hold out much longer.

Sailor #5: Listen...chaps...there's still a chance. I'm...done for, I've...got a gamy leg and I'm going fast; I'll never get through. But...some of you might. So...you'd better eat me.

Sailor #1: Eat you, sir?

Sailor #5: Yes. Eat me.

Sailor #2: Iiuuhh! With a gamy leg?

Sailor #5: You didn't eat the leg, Thompson. There's still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.

Sailor #3: It's not just the leg, sir.

Sailor #5: What do you mean?

Sailor #5: Well, sir...it's just that -

Sailor #5: Why don't you want to eat me?

Sailor #3: I'd rather eat Johnson, sir! (points to sailor #4)

Sailor #2: So would I, sir.

Sailor #5: I see.

Sailor #4: Well that's settled then...everyone's gonna eat me!

Sailor #1: Uh, well.

Sailor #5: What, sir?

Sailor #1:: No, no you go ahead, please, I won't.......

Sailor #4: Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving; ducking.

Sailor #1: No, no, it's not that.

Sailor #2: What's the matter with Johnson, sir?

Sailor #1: Well, he's not kosher.

Sailor #3: That depends how we kill him, sir.

Sailor #1: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.

Sailor #2: Oh well, all right.

Sailor #5: I still prefer Johnson.

Sailor #5: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.

Sailor #2: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have Johnson cold for supper.

Sailor #1: Good thinking, Hodges.

Sailor #4: And we'll finish off with the peaches. (picks up a tin of . peaches)

Sailor #3: And we can start off with the avocados. (picks up two avocados) Sailor #1: Waitress! (a waitress walks in) We've decided now, we're going to have leg of Hodges...

(Boos off-screen. Cut to a letter.)

Voice Over: Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.

**rotobott** · March 18th, 2012, 07:24 PM

Me and Fat Ronnie, once spit roasted a girl, but I didn't eat her afterwards.

Not after Fat Ronnie had been there

MaxJoker · March 19th, 2012, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rotobott

Me and Fat Ronnie, once spit roasted a girl, but I didn't eat her afterwards.

Not after Fat Ronnie had been there

Wise move .

Too much salt in the diet is unhealthy

**billybunter** · March 19th, 2012, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Wise move .

Too much salt in the diet is unhealthy

That's why i'm on a low salt diet.
Asked a few mates this question, and they all said yes. So it ain't looking good when WW3 starts.

**billybunter** · March 19th, 2012, 02:57 PM

I use the word mates very loosely

MaxJoker · March 21st, 2012, 05:02 PM

Be warned fellow long pork aficionados as some people are selfish enough to eat themselves during a crisis

Quite frankly i think that`s plain out rude

MaxJoker · April 8th, 2012, 03:26 PM

Now i`d just like to put to bed the rumour i only started this thread because i`ve been a cannibal since birth.

Oh and i will.

Soon as i`ve finished eating the screaming girl i`ve nail gunned to my dungeon wall

**Sir Honkers** · April 9th, 2012, 11:17 AM

Provided the keep the genitalia nice, I don't have a problem with eating people...well girls anyway

**grossnex** · April 9th, 2012, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Soon as i`ve finished eating the screaming girl i`ve nail gunned to my dungeon wall

The only question I really had Brother Max was whether you deep fried that bird or not?

Kuntucky Fried Chicken...Hey if it tastes like chicken, keep on lickin'.

View Poll Results: Would you be brave enough to slowly roast another human being so you yourself might survive ?
Yes i`d eat someone, especially if it was a woman aged between 19 to 25 .	162	73.30%
No because i am weak willed .	24	10.86%
I don`t understand the question , or why somebody as obviously warped as you ever became a Mod ?	35	15.84%
Voters: 221. You may not vote on this poll

March 17th, 2012, 11:21 AM	#82
RjG57 Qualified Breast & Nipple Inspector Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: under down under Posts: 1,033 Thanks: 15,075 Thanked 45,294 Times in 1,032 Posts	This thread would not be complete without this Python skit. (Scene: The interior of a lifeboat. Seagulls are crying.) Sailor #1: STILL no sign of land. How long is it? Sailor #2: 33 days, sir. Sailor #1: Thirty-three days? Sailor #2: We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't eaten since the fifth day. Sailor #5: We're done for, we're done for! Sailor #1: Shut up, Morley. Sailor #2: We've just got to keep hoping. Someone may find us. Sailor #4: How we feeling, Captain? Sailor #5: Not too good. I...I feel so weak. Sailor #2: We can't hold out much longer. Sailor #5: Listen...chaps...there's still a chance. I'm...done for, I've...got a gamy leg and I'm going fast; I'll never get through. But...some of you might. So...you'd better eat me. Sailor #1: Eat you, sir? Sailor #5: Yes. Eat me. Sailor #2: Iiuuhh! With a gamy leg? Sailor #5: You didn't eat the leg, Thompson. There's still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm. Sailor #3: It's not just the leg, sir. Sailor #5: What do you mean? Sailor #5: Well, sir...it's just that - Sailor #5: Why don't you want to eat me? Sailor #3: I'd rather eat Johnson, sir! (points to sailor #4) Sailor #2: So would I, sir. Sailor #5: I see. Sailor #4: Well that's settled then...everyone's gonna eat me! Sailor #1: Uh, well. Sailor #5: What, sir? Sailor #1:: No, no you go ahead, please, I won't....... Sailor #4: Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving; ducking. Sailor #1: No, no, it's not that. Sailor #2: What's the matter with Johnson, sir? Sailor #1: Well, he's not kosher. Sailor #3: That depends how we kill him, sir. Sailor #1: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges. Sailor #2: Oh well, all right. Sailor #5: I still prefer Johnson. Sailor #5: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me. Sailor #2: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have Johnson cold for supper. Sailor #1: Good thinking, Hodges. Sailor #4: And we'll finish off with the peaches. (picks up a tin of . peaches) Sailor #3: And we can start off with the avocados. (picks up two avocados) Sailor #1: Waitress! (a waitress walks in) We've decided now, we're going to have leg of Hodges... (Boos off-screen. Cut to a letter.) Voice Over: Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic. __________________ ************************************ I'll be back ***************************** Last edited by RjG57; March 18th, 2012 at 01:56 AM..

March 19th, 2012, 02:57 PM	#86
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,444 Times in 14,171 Posts	I use the word mates very loosely __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 21st, 2012, 05:02 PM	#87
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 988,274 Times in 69,067 Posts	Be warned fellow long pork aficionados as some people are selfish enough to eat themselves during a crisis Quite frankly i think that`s plain out rude __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 8th, 2012, 03:26 PM	#88
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 988,274 Times in 69,067 Posts	Now i`d just like to put to bed the rumour i only started this thread because i`ve been a cannibal since birth. Oh and i will. Soon as i`ve finished eating the screaming girl i`ve nail gunned to my dungeon wall __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 18th, 2012, 07:24 PM	#83
rotobott Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 32,162 Thanks: 175,032 Thanked 635,896 Times in 31,483 Posts	Me and Fat Ronnie, once spit roasted a girl, but I didn't eat her afterwards. Not after Fat Ronnie had been there

April 9th, 2012, 11:17 AM	#89
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,552 Thanks: 288,806 Thanked 388,960 Times in 30,507 Posts	Provided the keep the genitalia nice, I don't have a problem with eating people...well girls anyway