Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 53

MaxJoker · April 3rd, 2015, 04:58 PM

What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe ?

Canoes have occasionally been known to tip.

What`s black blue and hates sex ?.

The five year old in my trunk.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland ?.

Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.

What do you call a Mexican shoveling up horse shit ?.

Promoted far above his station.

**tygrkhat40** · April 4th, 2015, 03:01 PM

Appropriate for the weekend...

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the desk and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"

**SanteeFats** · April 4th, 2015, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tygrkhat40

Appropriate for the weekend...

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the desk and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"

OHHH! you gonna go to hell.

**tygrkhat40** · April 5th, 2015, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SanteeFats

OHHH! you gonna go to hell.

To quote Oscar Wilde: "I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there."

**DonnyJoe** · April 12th, 2015, 02:31 AM

Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog
licking his own balls.

On of them says,"gee I wish I could do that".

The other one says,"don't you think you should at least pet it first".

gaeldom · April 12th, 2015, 12:57 PM

Not sure if this has been done before. If so, my apologies.

Say what you will about paedophiles, but they always slow down, when driving past schools.

**ManofKent** · April 20th, 2015, 12:30 PM

"Knock, Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Grandpa"
"Shit! Stop the funeral!"

(Mock the Week).

**ManofKent** · April 25th, 2015, 01:36 PM

"Hey ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was CIRCUMNAVIGATED!"

(Stewart Francis, Mock The Week).

**SanteeFats** · April 25th, 2015, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ManofKent

"Hey ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was CIRCUMNAVIGATED!"

So you mean they just go around you to avoid you???

Estreeter · June 3rd, 2015, 02:34 PM

These 3 blokes begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen.

Each day, two of the blokes sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third bloke consistently sells two hundred.
The other two blokes are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret.

One day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up a tobacco dip sample table.

"Is your secret?" asks the first bloke.
"Try some dip," says the third.

They both take a little bit o' dip.
"Yucccckkkk!" says the second bloke.

"This tastes like shit!"

"It is shit. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"

April 3rd, 2015, 04:58 PM	#521
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,511 Times in 69,067 Posts	What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe ? Canoes have occasionally been known to tip. What`s black blue and hates sex ?. The five year old in my trunk. Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland ?. Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin. What do you call a Mexican shoveling up horse shit ?. Promoted far above his station. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 4th, 2015, 03:01 PM	#522
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 152,323 Times in 9,629 Posts	Appropriate for the weekend... Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the desk and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 12th, 2015, 02:31 AM	#525
DonnyJoe Vintage Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Northern Plains U.S.A. Posts: 223 Thanks: 6,811 Thanked 13,105 Times in 416 Posts	Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking his own balls. On of them says,"gee I wish I could do that". The other one says,"don't you think you should at least pet it first". __________________ Where Ever You Go...There You Are!

June 3rd, 2015, 02:34 PM	#530
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,106 Thanks: 449,599 Thanked 896,735 Times in 60,308 Posts	These 3 blokes begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the blokes sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third bloke consistently sells two hundred. The other two blokes are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. One day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up a tobacco dip sample table. "Is your secret?" asks the first bloke. "Try some dip," says the third. They both take a little bit o' dip. "Yucccckkkk!" says the second bloke. "This tastes like shit!" "It is shit. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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April 12th, 2015, 12:57 PM	#526
gaeldom Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 378 Thanks: 3,012 Thanked 5,431 Times in 375 Posts	Not sure if this has been done before. If so, my apologies. Say what you will about paedophiles, but they always slow down, when driving past schools.

April 20th, 2015, 12:30 PM	#527
ManofKent Vintage Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: U.K Posts: 1,130 Thanks: 10,125 Thanked 13,832 Times in 1,113 Posts	"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Grandpa" "Shit! Stop the funeral!" (Mock the Week).

April 25th, 2015, 01:36 PM	#528
ManofKent Vintage Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: U.K Posts: 1,130 Thanks: 10,125 Thanked 13,832 Times in 1,113 Posts	"Hey ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was CIRCUMNAVIGATED!" (Stewart Francis, Mock The Week).