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April 3rd, 2015, 04:58 PM | #521 |
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What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe ?
Canoes have occasionally been known to tip. What`s black blue and hates sex ?. The five year old in my trunk. Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland ?. Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin. What do you call a Mexican shoveling up horse shit ?. Promoted far above his station.
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April 4th, 2015, 03:01 PM | #522 |
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Appropriate for the weekend...
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the desk and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"
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April 4th, 2015, 03:12 PM | #523 |
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April 5th, 2015, 02:18 PM | #524 |
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To quote Oscar Wilde: "I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there."
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April 12th, 2015, 02:31 AM | #525 |
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Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog
licking his own balls. On of them says,"gee I wish I could do that". The other one says,"don't you think you should at least pet it first".
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Where Ever You Go...There You Are!
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April 12th, 2015, 12:57 PM | #526 |
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Not sure if this has been done before. If so, my apologies.
Say what you will about paedophiles, but they always slow down, when driving past schools. |
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April 20th, 2015, 12:30 PM | #527 |
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"Knock, Knock"
"Who's there?" "Grandpa" "Shit! Stop the funeral!" (Mock the Week). |
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April 25th, 2015, 01:36 PM | #528 |
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"Hey ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was CIRCUMNAVIGATED!"
(Stewart Francis, Mock The Week). |
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April 25th, 2015, 04:30 PM | #529 |
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June 3rd, 2015, 02:34 PM | #530 |
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These 3 blokes begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the blokes sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third bloke consistently sells two hundred. The other two blokes are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. One day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up a tobacco dip sample table. "Is your secret?" asks the first bloke. "Try some dip," says the third. They both take a little bit o' dip. "Yucccckkkk!" says the second bloke. "This tastes like shit!" "It is shit. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
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