Post your corny jokes - Page 760

**Jeff Vader** · March 18th, 2014, 07:50 PM

What's the difference between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

robin999 · March 18th, 2014, 08:23 PM

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

robin999 · March 18th, 2014, 08:38 PM

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at
him.

She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he
knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful
to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor
party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies
watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly.......... "No, I'm your son's
teacher."

**Jeff Vader** · March 18th, 2014, 08:40 PM

The scariest thing about this World War Three starting is that we are on the Germans' side.

They've never won a World War yet.

Lord Of The Sith · March 19th, 2014, 01:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flying saucer

What is the name of the new Star Wars movie?

Star Wars Episode VII Grumpy Old Men!

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/49871...f=arts&ir=Arts

No, it is the Search For More Money

flying saucer · March 19th, 2014, 04:03 AM

Why do all dolphins know the meaning of life?

Because they all know their lives have a porpoise!

**Jeff Vader** · March 19th, 2014, 04:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flying saucer

Why do all dolphins know the meaning of life?

Because they all know their lives have a porpoise!

What you've done there, I sea it. If you can think of some more, let minnow.

**slisse** · March 19th, 2014, 09:06 AM

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine.

Suddenly, she burst out laughing.

"Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said, "Tell me why not."

"Season's more than half over," he said.

flying saucer · March 19th, 2014, 02:34 PM

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb must be willing to change!

**Jeff Vader** · March 19th, 2014, 06:00 PM

Is it just me, or was music better when ugly people were allowed to make it?

March 18th, 2014, 07:50 PM	#7591
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,031 Times in 6,511 Posts	What's the difference between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School? I don't know, I just fly the drone __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

March 18th, 2014, 08:40 PM	#7594
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,031 Times in 6,511 Posts	The scariest thing about this World War Three starting is that we are on the Germans' side. They've never won a World War yet. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

March 19th, 2014, 09:06 AM	#7598
slisse Vintage Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: BE Posts: 2,405 Thanks: 32,668 Thanked 72,544 Times in 2,481 Posts	Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said, "Tell me why not." "Season's more than half over," he said. __________________ Life is short, so try to make the best of it. If any of my links isn't working, please send me a PM so I can fix it. Thank you.

March 19th, 2014, 06:00 PM	#7600
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,031 Times in 6,511 Posts	Is it just me, or was music better when ugly people were allowed to make it? __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

March 18th, 2014, 08:23 PM	#7592
robin999 Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 46 Thanks: 177 Thanked 1,398 Times in 43 Posts	Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French and It's all organized by the Swiss. Hell is Where: The Police are German, The Chefs are British, The Mechanics are French, The Lovers are Swiss and It's all organized by the Italians.

March 18th, 2014, 08:38 PM	#7593
robin999 Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 46 Thanks: 177 Thanked 1,398 Times in 43 Posts	A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???" She looks into his eyes and says calmly.......... "No, I'm your son's teacher."

March 19th, 2014, 04:03 AM	#7596
flying saucer Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 33 Thanks: 4 Thanked 618 Times in 28 Posts	Why do all dolphins know the meaning of life? Because they all know their lives have a porpoise!

March 19th, 2014, 02:34 PM	#7599
flying saucer Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 33 Thanks: 4 Thanked 618 Times in 28 Posts	How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb must be willing to change!