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April 12th, 2017, 10:05 PM | #12141 |
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A gangster and loan shark goes to see a family of cannibals who owe him money. "By the way", the gangster asks, "have you seen my minders Luke and Bob?". "Well, I've got to feed my kids", the woman replies.
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April 13th, 2017, 12:58 AM | #12142 |
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If I weren't your doctor and concerned about maintaining my professional distance, I'd laugh at your penis, too!
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April 14th, 2017, 07:45 PM | #12143 |
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- What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
- Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful. - What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it. - What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball! - What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen. - Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes? Because at 69 they blow a rod.
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April 17th, 2017, 02:41 PM | #12144 |
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Been a clairvoyant 20 years this week. I remember my first day like it was tomorrow......
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April 17th, 2017, 02:42 PM | #12145 |
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I've just formed a new band to play at children's parties for the under 5's. We're gping to be called The Safety Scissor Sisters.
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April 17th, 2017, 07:00 PM | #12146 |
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There is no way I can post this joke here, so here's the link to the Longest Joke in the World:
http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com/
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April 17th, 2017, 07:09 PM | #12147 |
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FACT:
Bootle-born comic John Martin smashed the world record for continuous joke-telling in 1993, with an ear-splitting 101 hours and 39 minutes of solid, uninterrupted gags. His Guinness Book of World Records Award states he won it for 'the longest recorded period without a single laugh'.
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April 18th, 2017, 04:04 PM | #12148 |
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Query.
Given the choice between never drinking wine again or gaining 20 Kg, what would you choose? Red or white?
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April 18th, 2017, 04:07 PM | #12149 |
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April 18th, 2017, 04:16 PM | #12150 |
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That would result in a 40 Kg weight gain!
Can you afford to get 10% heavier?
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