You Know You're Old When..

[Sharkhunter]

OK, I am only in my late thirties, but you know you are getting on when the girls you were wanking over when you first got into porn are old enough to be the mothers of girls you are wanking over now...

[Xexemedes]

When you log onto VEF first for the conversation, second for the world view and third to check your messages. Oh, right, there are nude women here too.

[rc_riddle]

I used to say that, 'You know you're old when you can buy all your records in Woolworths for £1.99.' Blimey! Woolworths has shuffled off before the £1.99 record!!!

[squigg58]

Originally Posted by savage560

Ever hear that commedian Jeff Foxworthy take about "you know you're a red neck when...."

This is for us middle agers & those approching & those beyond.
For me its "You know you're getting old when you're on a forum like this & spend way more time on political & general knowlede threads than looking at the women!"

Anyone got similar getting old stuff,man its worrying me!

These were sent to me a while ago:

You know you're getting old when ...

You wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before.
Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
Happy hour is a nap.
You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
You sing along with the elevator music.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
Your drugs of preference are now vitamins.
Younger women start opening doors for you.

[billybunter]

When you are older than your Dr

[Ennath]

When you watch your baseball team's Old Timers' Day and see players you remember as rookies.

[Sirch]

(1) When you keep coming to the realization, everything was better in "the good old days"!

(2) You don't recognize most of the names on a 100 hottest babes list.

(3) You rather wait for a movie to come to pay per view and not go to the theaters when its released.

(4) If you go to the theater you have to pee before the film starts and you have to pee immediately after the film ends. (regardless if you drank any pop while watching the film)

(5) Back pain, sore joints, stiff muscles.

(6) You work out twice as hard and twice as long to stay in shape.

(7) You have three fields of vision. One set of glasses for driving one for mid distance like watching television and another for reading.

(8) You walk from one room to the next and by the time you get there you forgot why you got out of your chair.

(9) You start buying old issues of girly magazines you had 35 years ago.

(10) You make a list like this to begin with.

[tygrkhat40]

Musicians and actors you admired in your youth start dying off...of old age. You see a sweet young scantily clad girl on the street and you think you she should put some clothes on. When you tell a teenager who your favorite band is and their response is, "Who's that?" You can't trust a fart. You're locked in a death struggle with the exact opposite of a stiff dick and a limber back.

[jagturan]

I used to give a hoot about hanging out with my coworkers when I was 21. Now, I don't give a hoot about hanging with them because they're only 21.

Back in the day I used to work with cutting edge technology for the government. Now, I can hardly operate a cellphone. Don't even ask me to manipulate an I-Pad.

I gave up long distance running because my legs just hurt too much afterwards.

I watch reruns of Welcome Back Kotter and wonder why I ever thought it was a funny show.

I know that the Major League Baseball record for most home runs in a single season still stands with Roger Maris and that those other guys cheated by using steroids.

I can name every ball player for the 1978 New York Yankees today but I don't care about the players of 2011.

I used to worry about the CFCs from aerosol cans eating holes in the atmosphere. Now I snort each time I read reports about global warming.

I remember when I was not allowed to use calculators when practicing my long division. Now, I believe you must have a laptop in elementary school these days.

I remember looking forward to receiving my monthly subscription of Playboy and Penthouse. Now I look forward to each morning to viewing VEF!

[-Edge-]

You know your getting old(er) when your daughter/son calls you and says:

"Hi, Grandpa.!!"