Post your corny jokes

[ajitpd]

A Pakistan Army private (jawan in local military slang) was trying to get a few days off to see his new bride. He was posted along the border with India. His commanding officer continuously denied his repeated requests for leave of absence.

One morning, after his shift, the private went to his commanding officer once again and repeated his request.

“Here is my offer,” the commander came up with an innovative way of denying the poor soldier’s wish. “If you bring me an Indian tank as booty I will let you go for a month.”

“Very good, sir.” The soldier saluted and left the tent.

The very next morning, after a very calm and quiet night, the jawan was again face to face with his superior officer.

“Sir, you’ll be proud of me. I’ve got it,” chirped the beaming soldier. “It’s parked outside.”

The commander could not believe it. A brand new shiny tank with Indian military markings was in fact parked outside his tent, several hundred meters away from the border in Pakistani territory.

“Alright, Jawan! I’ll approve your one month leave. But you have to tell me something first,” the officer was genuinely curious. “How did you manage such a feat?”

“It’s simple, sir,” the soldier changed his position to at-ease. “When Indian jawans need time off, they borrow our tanks too.”

[gedly]

Is wrestling a sport? It's a question I've often grappled with.

[photoflex]

Originally Posted by gedly

Is wrestling a sport? It's a question I've often grappled with.

It's got a hold on me too!

[fatrat1]

Two Muslim's in a camping shop trying out rucksacks. One says to the other "does my bomb look big in this".

[fatrat1]

What has a policeman & an Eskimo got in common?

They both have blue helmets.

[Mister Fide]

I bought a black & white dog because I thought the licence would be cheaper.


I see Spider-Man has a new website.

[bfg9000]

This is the last group for this lot of jokes:

41. What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

42. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?

Beef strokin’ off.

43. What did the O say to the Q?

Dude, your dick’s hanging out.

44. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

45. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart?

You are the wind beneath my wings.

46. What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

47. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

48. How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

49. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

50. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.

That's All Folks !!!!

[gedly]

I once had a subscription to a karate channel but it got blocked.
I also had a subscription to an egg channel but I could only get it scrambled.

[Mal Hombre]

I once had a subscription to a Christmas Cracker channel but it got pulled..
I also had a subscription to a Bomb Channel but it got dropped.

[mrfixit]

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud,but everyone at the table heard the pouf. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!". The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!" Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,"Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"