Post your corny jokes - Page 1355

**mrfixit** · July 15th, 2018, 01:12 AM

how do you make antifreeze?

take away her nightgown

**bfg9000** · July 15th, 2018, 03:01 AM

Our local church loves all denominations, especially $5 and $10 dollar bills

**mrfixit** · July 15th, 2018, 03:57 AM

Aaron · July 15th, 2018, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrfixit

how do you make antifreeze?

take away her nightgown

How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her!

**gedly** · July 15th, 2018, 01:58 PM

The woman who injected her eight year old daughter with botox for beauty contests has lost custody. The child didn't look surprised.

**mrfixit** · July 15th, 2018, 05:22 PM

What's the difference between a bad golfer, and a bad sky diver?

The bad golfer goes "Whack! Damn.." and the bad skydiver goes "Damn.. Whack!"

**maildude** · July 17th, 2018, 12:29 AM

Studying Hard

A 12-year old boy comes home from school one day. His grandma asks him, "So, Ben. What did you learn in school today?" And Ben replies, "Oh...we learned about penises and vaginas and how a woman gets pregnant." Aghast, the grandma goes to the mother. "Do you know what your son learned in school today?? He told me the most filthy things about penises and vaginas...." So the mother interrupted, "Oh, mom...he's just learning about sex education. They're teaching it in school nowadays." Feeling behind the times, the grandma goes to Ben's room to apologize, but she finds him masturbating. Upon returning to the kitchen with her daughter, the grandma is asked, "So, how is Ben doing now?" the concerned mother inquires. To which the grandma replies, "Oh, fine. He's doing his homework."

Solid · July 17th, 2018, 01:08 PM

William Shatner has failed to land a role in the latest Arthur Conan-Doyle adaptation.

No Shat Sherlock.

Solid · July 17th, 2018, 01:09 PM

I asked my ventriloquist friend what he thought of the small piece of carpet I'd bought.

He thought it was ruggish.

MaxJoker · July 17th, 2018, 04:42 PM

Am really pleased about the hosepipe ban ,

As a fireman plus more importantly a right lazy bastard .

July 15th, 2018, 01:12 AM	#13541
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,806 Times in 9,416 Posts	how do you make antifreeze? take away her nightgown __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

July 15th, 2018, 03:01 AM	#13542
bfg9000 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly Posts: 683 Thanks: 11,930 Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts	Our local church loves all denominations, especially $5 and $10 dollar bills __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson

July 15th, 2018, 03:57 AM	#13543
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,806 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

July 15th, 2018, 05:22 PM	#13546
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,806 Times in 9,416 Posts	What's the difference between a bad golfer, and a bad sky diver? The bad golfer goes "Whack! Damn.." and the bad skydiver goes "Damn.. Whack!" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

July 17th, 2018, 12:29 AM	#13547
maildude Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: In postal purgatory Posts: 760 Thanks: 1,162 Thanked 14,111 Times in 748 Posts	Studying Hard A 12-year old boy comes home from school one day. His grandma asks him, "So, Ben. What did you learn in school today?" And Ben replies, "Oh...we learned about penises and vaginas and how a woman gets pregnant." Aghast, the grandma goes to the mother. "Do you know what your son learned in school today?? He told me the most filthy things about penises and vaginas...." So the mother interrupted, "Oh, mom...he's just learning about sex education. They're teaching it in school nowadays." Feeling behind the times, the grandma goes to Ben's room to apologize, but she finds him masturbating. Upon returning to the kitchen with her daughter, the grandma is asked, "So, how is Ben doing now?" the concerned mother inquires. To which the grandma replies, "Oh, fine. He's doing his homework." __________________ LET FREEDOM WAIT

July 15th, 2018, 01:58 PM	#13545
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts	The woman who injected her eight year old daughter with botox for beauty contests has lost custody. The child didn't look surprised.

July 17th, 2018, 01:08 PM	#13548
Solid Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 200 Thanks: 21,134 Thanked 2,939 Times in 199 Posts	William Shatner has failed to land a role in the latest Arthur Conan-Doyle adaptation. No Shat Sherlock. __________________ Cheese with everything!

July 17th, 2018, 01:09 PM	#13549
Solid Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 200 Thanks: 21,134 Thanked 2,939 Times in 199 Posts	I asked my ventriloquist friend what he thought of the small piece of carpet I'd bought. He thought it was ruggish. __________________ Cheese with everything!

July 17th, 2018, 04:42 PM	#13550
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,511 Times in 69,067 Posts	Am really pleased about the hosepipe ban , As a fireman plus more importantly a right lazy bastard . __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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