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Old 08-17-2010, 04:00 PM   #1
willy9b
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Default Paul's Little Household Hints

I think all of us (especially we singles!) have at least one or two little shortcuts that, well, just make life that little bit easier sometimes. I'll start us off with a few of my favourites -- that should give you some ideas.

If you're using the oven the best way to cook baked beans is to half open the can, drain off some of the sauce and then stand it in the oven until your meal is cooked. As an advantage, this is the best way to cook them. (the clue is in the name!) This also works well with tinned tomatoes.

When you've eaten a Fray Bentos tinned pie, wash up the tin and keep it as a tiny oven dish when you're just heating a small amount of something. If it gets really manky any time, just chuck it away.

An easy way to produce mashed potatoes is to microwave them until they are soft and then mash them up on the plate you are going to use for your meal with a bit of milk and butter. The skins add an interesting texture as well as being nutritious.

Buy a breadmaker -- not only will you get a good variety of really cheap, really fresh bread but you can set it to finish just before you get up. If you have a freezer, cut the loaf in two once it has cooled, put half of it in a plastic bag (slice it first, if you prefer) and it will stay fresh for at least a month. Incidentally, buy the best one you can afford and check out the reviews (on Amazon for example) before splashing out.

If you're hammering in small tacks, nails or panel pins, to avoid hitting your fingers put the nail in between the teeth of a comb before positioning it.

Right, guys -- over to you. The best tip wins a prize, and I am a liar.
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Old 08-17-2010, 04:23 PM   #2
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Think you`ll find the majority of members are actually in a relationship or in the process of extracting themselves from one , but what the hell i don't mind passing on some handy household tips.

Such as if you want to cook an egg but are a loss what to do
Well i find heating it is a help. Just make sure you leave the shell on the side of the plate when you eat it (With your mouth by putting the egg in and making a grinding motion with your teeth) as those things aren't as digestable as they look


Face turning blue and the room spinning
Try inhaling , believe me it works wonders


Finished drying a serrated knife you just used to cut up next doors dog but don't know where to put it
Put it in a drawer , that way you`ll know where it is for when those same neighbours buy a replacement



Like Cliff Richard but don't know how to show it
Why not send him a bottle of his own wine with the label changed , that way he may drink it and finally be at eternal rest





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Old 08-17-2010, 04:57 PM   #3
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Iron your Bruce Forsythe pillow cases inside out it stops the transfers sticking to the iron!
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Old 08-17-2010, 05:10 PM   #4
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by willy9b View Post
I think all of us (especially we singles!) have at least one or two little shortcuts that, well, just make life that little bit easier sometimes.
Here is the best and most important shortcuts of all, saves time
Make sure you have at least 3 pizza place phone numbers in your speed dial
No washing dishes, nothing, efficiency at it's best.
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Old 08-17-2010, 05:26 PM   #5
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Eat everything raw, especially meat, saves energy and washing up. Also it's good training to become a mod.



P.S. Paul Little aka Max Hardcore.
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Old 08-17-2010, 05:27 PM   #6
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If You find that it is getting dark,this is caused by the Sun going down.To counteract this problem operate the switch handily placed on the wall.Do not be alarmed by the sudden increase in light,this is only the lights coming on.
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Old 08-17-2010, 07:24 PM   #7
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If your dog vomits on the carpet leave it for a bit and don't feed him - invariably the greedy bastard will scoff the lot an hour or two later thus making cleaning up much more pleasant - it does help to have a carpet with a pattern that looks like dog vomit stains.
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:57 PM   #8
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Some of you may recognise these, especially if you're from the UK.

FOOL your neighbors into thinking you have an expensive driveway by sellotaping rice crispies to your cars tyres.

iPhone 4 users. Use the built-in compass and GPS to find the nearest public phone box.

Save money on expensive binoculars - simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

DON'T buy expensive phone books - just get a copy of the Phone Directory and cross out all the names of the people that you don't know.

Convince other people you have a dog by taking a carrier bag full of wet shit around with you.

Make your furniture last twice as long by simply sitting on the floor every other day.

FATTIES. Take a tip from smokers and stop your cravings for chips by Sellotaping a crisp to the top of your arm each morning.

SKY subscribers - experience the world in stunning 3D by not watching the fucking telly all day.

Cheers,
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Old 08-18-2010, 01:48 AM   #9
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When you're out of clean clothes, gather them all up, separate the whites from the rest, put them in the washer with the proper amount of detergent.

Hit the "On" button.

When finished, place wet clothes into clothes dryer.

Again, hit the "On" button.

In about an hour and 20 minutes, clean clothes!
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Old 08-18-2010, 03:08 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetwood77 View Post
If your dog vomits on the carpet leave it for a bit and don't feed him - invariably the greedy bastard will scoff the lot an hour or two later thus making cleaning up much more pleasant - it does help to have a carpet with a pattern that looks like dog vomit stains.
That reminds me of another
If ya see a spider on your carpet, kill it and leave it there, it'll serve warning too other spiders
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