Christmas is for Religion - Page 6

**charliels531** · December 6th, 2018, 05:11 AM

I prefer to mark the Winter Solstice the way my ancestors (and yours, too, if they were in Northern Europe) did. We get naked, paint ourselves blue, and burn down the next house over.

Ah, that old-time religion!

**bloke57** · December 6th, 2018, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charliels531

What about Steak and Blowjob Day?

Oh come on!

I can't afford to take every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday off.

**Mal Hombre** · December 6th, 2018, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charliels531

What about Steak and Blowjob Day?

One way or another You get a mouthful of meat..

**Reclaimedwg** · December 6th, 2018, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charliels531

What about Steak and Blowjob Day?

I have never been able to get my wife to take me up on that on March 14 Steak and Blowjob Day, but she still wants her Valentine's Day roses and candies and jewelry and fancy dinner every February 14th.

It ain't fair.

So much for Equality of the Sexes.

With women is all about what they want and never about what you want.

Even when they say it's okay for us men to do something, they don't mean it:

Quote:

What Women’s Words Really Mean

Men, just to make sure we are clear on the language of women

1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing . (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you – do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" – for the woman's response refer to #3.

9. I'll drive: this either means she is questioning your manhood, or she is (rightly) scared to death of your Richard Petty impersonation

10. Are watching (insert sport here) again? It's chores jar time

11. Sure, you can buy that. Refer to #6

12. Come here: you are a puppy

13. You never listen: you never listen. Prepare for #5

14. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "%@&* YOU!"

**Reclaimedwg** · December 7th, 2018, 09:48 PM

No Candy Canes allowed!!

WOW!

https://www.foxnews.com/us/nebraska-...ands-for-jesus

**rotobott** · December 7th, 2018, 09:58 PM

I know some people get hot under the collar about people worshiping imaginary deities and religions in general.

But Santa is real, I have seen him

He looked a lot like my dad

**Reclaimedwg** · December 7th, 2018, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rotobott

But Santa is real, I have seen him

He looked a lot like my dad

Was he stuck halfway down the chimney when you saw him?

**bloke57** · December 8th, 2018, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rotobott

I know some people get hot under the collar about people worshiping imaginary deities and religions in general.

But Santa is real, I have seen him

He looked a lot like my dad

If your mum is called Donner or Blitzen, that explains a lot.

**vo1v0d** · December 12th, 2018, 01:30 AM

All bollocks apart, I do enjoy carols from Kings College, along with about eighty other countries where it is traditionally broadcast.

**Sir Honkers** · December 12th, 2018, 09:08 AM

We were minding our granddaughter, who didn't want to go home when mummy called to pick her up. Well, much yelling back and forth ensured and the end result was mummy told Alice she was going to tell Santa to put her name on the naughty list.
Then the tears started and we could still hear them as the doors closed and the lift descended.
Alice rang later to tell us that mummy had to say sorry and 'SHE! was on the naughty list not me!'
Never use Santa to blackmail your kids. It will come back to bite you on the arse. Here endeth the lesson.

December 6th, 2018, 05:11 AM	#51
charliels531 Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Seattle Posts: 4,909 Thanks: 42,425 Thanked 62,694 Times in 4,879 Posts	I prefer to mark the Winter Solstice the way my ancestors (and yours, too, if they were in Northern Europe) did. We get naked, paint ourselves blue, and burn down the next house over. Ah, that old-time religion!

December 7th, 2018, 09:48 PM	#55
Reclaimedwg Vintage Member Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 3,414 Thanks: 7,709 Thanked 26,946 Times in 3,089 Posts	No Candy Canes allowed!! WOW! https://www.foxnews.com/us/nebraska-...ands-for-jesus

December 7th, 2018, 09:58 PM	#56
rotobott Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 32,113 Thanks: 174,807 Thanked 634,738 Times in 31,434 Posts	I know some people get hot under the collar about people worshiping imaginary deities and religions in general. But Santa is real, I have seen him He looked a lot like my dad

December 12th, 2018, 01:30 AM	#59
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,284 Thanks: 42,402 Thanked 60,915 Times in 7,500 Posts	All bollocks apart, I do enjoy carols from Kings College, along with about eighty other countries where it is traditionally broadcast.

December 12th, 2018, 09:08 AM	#60
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,367 Thanks: 287,009 Thanked 386,479 Times in 30,323 Posts	We were minding our granddaughter, who didn't want to go home when mummy called to pick her up. Well, much yelling back and forth ensured and the end result was mummy told Alice she was going to tell Santa to put her name on the naughty list. Then the tears started and we could still hear them as the doors closed and the lift descended. Alice rang later to tell us that mummy had to say sorry and 'SHE! was on the naughty list not me!' Never use Santa to blackmail your kids. It will come back to bite you on the arse. Here endeth the lesson.