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Old 01-01-2018, 11:44 PM   #1281
AmateurEmale
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Q. Did you hear about the updated, modern curriculum at Catholic schools?

A. They teach that the world is flat, and that abortion is murder.
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Old 01-05-2018, 05:56 PM   #1282
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Big Grin Twisted AND Sick jokes ONLY remember . Please ... Don't make me (Slowly) beat you to death while telling you again

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Paralympics ?,

Not being a spastic.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, downs syndrome, quadriplegic baby get for Christmas ? ,

Cancer.

What's blue yet doesn't fit anymore ?,

A dead epileptic.


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Old 01-05-2018, 06:04 PM   #1283
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:06 PM   #1284
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50th anniversary of Donald Campbell’s death.

But contrary to reports from the time, they did find his body.

It came out of a tap in Huddersfield in 1968.
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:41 PM   #1285
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Just watched a Documentary on World War II ,

I thought the Nazis sent Jews to "Work" camps ? ,

Yet there they all were milling about wearing Pajamas and often dropping to the ground,

For more sleep no doubt ,

Bloody lazy buggers !.


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Old 01-10-2018, 09:52 PM   #1286
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What’s big, Scottish and depressing?

Scotland.

I was walking through Glasgow today, when I was stopped by a representative from Aquafresh Toothpaste. She said, "Did you know that the average person only brushes 30% of their teeth?" I said, "We're in Glasgow love, the average person only has 30% of their teeth."
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Old 01-11-2018, 12:36 AM   #1287
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The Scottish Alphabet:

A, B, Cunt
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Old 01-11-2018, 12:55 AM   #1288
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For my stag do, my best man said he was taking me where only the very tightest cunts in the world could be found.

Lidl in Glasgow.

What do you call a pointless race that covers 2,200 miles throughout France?

The French.
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Old 01-11-2018, 03:28 PM   #1289
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I recently visited a second hand shop and got a second rate hand job
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Old 01-11-2018, 09:28 PM   #1290
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I was shocked last night to learn my 12 year old sister has caught Chlamydia.

I didn't even know I had it!
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