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Old 09-24-2017, 04:44 PM   #3491
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ball7 View Post
Wish granted. The quality is so bad.....you can only make out her left elbow.

I wish Jennifer Lawrence would have a steamy sex tape featuring a threesome
Granted. The scene is posted on VEF in Ultra HD and surround sound. Unfortunately, it is so hot that 30 seconds into watching it for the first time you have a stroke that leaves you a drooling vegetable.

You spend the rest of your life in a public institution cared for by lumpy male attendants with bad teeth and no concept of personal hygiene who sodomize you on a regular basis.

I wish I had a shiny new nickel.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:03 PM   #3492
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Wish granted, but your shiny new nickel came off the assembly line at the coin mint infected with a particularly nasty strain of group A Streptococcus(GAS) bacteria also known as the flesh eating bacteria. After a few days you notice that red bleeding pustules are breaking all over your body. You rush to the Emergency room of your local hospital, but it is too late. In just a few more days your whole body is just a bloody puddle.

I wish I could spend an entire weekend in bed with Milena Velba who has the biggest, flabbiest breasts in the world. I would spend the entire night, kissing, licking, sucking and fucking her mammoth mammaries!
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Old 11-14-2017, 03:21 PM   #3493
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Granted. However, at the beginning of your night of bliss, you motorboat Miss Velba and in her joy, she hits you in the head with one of her magnificent mams, knocking you off the bed and you lose consciousness. You wake up in bed, in the hospital, with a neurosurgeon looming over you.

I wish for Tiffani Thiessen to come to my house, make me a fabulous meal and then make love to me all night long. (I'm asking for it...)
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:53 PM   #3494
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Wish granted, however, Tiffani wants you to take her to a luxury hotel instead of your house. You pick her up at the location she provides you. Then you and she go to this fabulous restaurant for a marvelous dinner. You then present her with a gift, a box with some real expensive jewels, and she swoons with pleasure at seeing them. Then your limousine which you hired for the occasion wisks you both to your hotel. You are in the luxury penthouse suite which is 25 floors up. Both of you get into the bedroom, but Tiffani first wants to freshen up in the lavatory. Afterwards she comes out half-naked and you are totally nude lying on the bed. Then she looks at your body and right away things go horribly wrong because she sees that you have a tiny 1 inch cock. She screams, takes off her jewels that you gave her and throws them at you and she says "There is no way in hell that I am going to make love to a man with such a tiny cock". She takes her clothes and runs out of the room. You then get so mad you start trashing the room. You throw lamps at the wall, you kick in the big t.v., smash the big radio and stereo and smash practically everything. Then you get terribly despondent and so mad , and even psychotic that you throw yourself out the window forgetting that you are on the 25th floor. Just as your body hits the ground Tiffani has made her way down and your body hits hers and both of you are splattered into a bag of blood. Not even the coroner can identify which parts belong to which body.!!


Here I go again. My favorite wish. I wish for a flying car. This car has a deflective field which shields it from being detected by radar by military or commercial airport radars, and it can't be detected by military drones, and it also has an automatic avoidance system so it won't crash into any other aircraft, or tall buildings.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:55 PM   #3495
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Wish granted, but you forgot to fill the tank before heading out on your next flight.

5000 feet above Chicago, your car conks out, and goes into a death dive. Screaming, you watch as the Sears Tower fills your windshield.

The resulting crash does little damage, but you are labelled as an ISIS supporter by the government. They secretly load terrorist propaganda and a copy of the Koran onto your computer and display it to the world as proof.

You are buried as a Muslim in an unmarked grave, and your name lives in infamy.

I wish trailmaster would try Laphroaig single malt Scotch, and become so enamored of it he never drinks another drop of disgusting Johnnie Walker as long as he lives.
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Old 11-16-2017, 06:13 AM   #3496
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Wish granted. Trailmaster tries Laphroaig. He loves it. He loves it with an insane, jealous, all consuming love that surpasses all human understanding.

He loves it so much that when he wins the all-time record Illinois Power Ball Lottery jackpot he uses his winnings to buy the world's entire supply of Laphroaig, which he squirrels away in his personal impregnable drinking fortress built on what used to be the Laphroaig distillery in Port Ellen.

When he drinks himself to death six weeks later, the automatic self-destruct mechanism destroys the fortress and everything else on Islay. No more Laphroaig or Islay malts for anyone. Enraged Scotch drinkers from seven continents hunt down Bowlinggreen and do unspeakable things to him.

I wish for a threesome with Jennifer Connelly and Helen Mirren.
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Old 11-18-2017, 03:02 PM   #3497
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Wish granted, however, when the women arrive Jennifer Connelly does not like the fact the Helen Mirren is also there. Jennifer says. "Why would this guy like an old bag like you". Helen says "Who you calling an old bag". Jennifer takes out of her purse a taser and fires it at Helen Mirren. The two metal darts hit the brassiere of Helen Mirren and she is momentarily stunned, but her brassiere is now on fire. The two women wail into one another and roll around on the floor, now both of them are on fire. They get up locked in each other arms and head for the kitchen. You yell " no, don't go in there", because your stove is partly broken and attached to the top burners is a cannister of methane gas. You run out of your house and in just a few more seconds there is a massive explosion. There is not enough of Jennifer Connelly and Helen Mirren left to even put into a coffin. You are unhurt, but your house is black, charred dust.


I wish that Chicago does not have a snowy winter this year.
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Old 11-18-2017, 05:25 PM   #3498
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Wish Granted.

Weather experts are baffled at the sub-tropical heatwave that his given Chicago it's warmest winter on record. City residents and tourists alike are marvelling at the wonderfully warm, sunny winter skies when disaster strikes. The warm currents have thawed Godzilla from his deep sea slumber, and he heads inland to Chicago in search of food



I wish for Donald Trump to be eaten by a Bengal Tiger
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Old 11-19-2017, 02:28 PM   #3499
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Wish granted. But then Pence as President institutes Christian reform laws for the USA, the phenomenon sweeps the western world, and a multinational Moral Police agency begins to scour all that is "unclean" from society, including porn. One day you discover that you can't get on to VEF. But your attempt to log on has been noted. Later, the morals police kick down your door and seize your computer and all of your porn mags and films. You are carted off to Morals Prison for rehabilitation, and the only woman you see again for 10 years is a 300 pound guard named Myrna, who has a face like the ass end of a garbage truck.

I wish I had a device that would instantly teleport me to a beautiful deserted tropical island and back at the touch of a button, so I could escape the cold winter at will, whenever I needed a few hours of tropical warmth.
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Old 11-19-2017, 11:47 PM   #3500
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Wish granted, however, your device transported you to the inside of a fiery volcano that just erupted on the tropical island. Your charred body was blown out to sea and a shark ate you up!

I wish that I could tap on the shoulder of any beautiful woman I met on the street and she would do all that I bid for that day.
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