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Old 11-10-2017, 08:41 PM   #13151
ball7
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A man goes to see his Rabbi in a panic, and he gets there and he says, “Rabbi you’ll never guess what! My son has run away to become a Christian!” And the Rabbi responds, “Well you’ll never guess what! My son has also run away to become a Christian!” So the man asks the Rabbi what to do and the Rabbi says that they should pray to G-d. So they pray and tell him of their plight and G-d replies, “You’ll never guess what!”
- An old Hasidic joke

From Trumble
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Old 11-10-2017, 11:11 PM   #13152
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"What's your name?"
"Dave Fvcking Smith"
"Do you suffer from Tourette's, Dave?"
"No, but the vicar at my christening did."
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Old 11-10-2017, 11:16 PM   #13153
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I like my chocolate
Like I like my ladyboys
With nuts

Last edited by ball7; 11-12-2017 at 10:09 PM..
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Old 11-11-2017, 05:59 AM   #13154
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So the vampire had a loose tooth and went off to China. He heard they knew all about fang sway.
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Old 11-11-2017, 12:26 PM   #13155
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My grandfather told me that he saw The Titanic, and that from the beginning he warned all the people that the boat would sink, but they ignored him. However, they were warned again on several occassions, until they kicked him out the cinema.
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:07 PM   #13156
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I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
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Old 11-14-2017, 05:55 AM   #13157
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A prostitute was having a baby at the hospital. In the delivery room her doctor was examining her.

"Can you tell me, ma'am," asked the good doctor, "who the father is?"

"Listen, doc," replied the sharp-tongued lady of the night, "if I ate a whole can of beans, how could I tell you which one made me fart?"
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:18 AM   #13158
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*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please... I need my... phone"
*opens Twitter*
Me typing: "LMFAOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:20 AM   #13159
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Black Friday is coming up, so remember Retail language:

"Need help finding a size?" = Please stop fucking up my display
"I can put that back for you" = you're going to fuck up my display
"Let me hold your items for you" = So you dont leave this somewhere and fuck up a display
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:23 AM   #13160
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ball7 View Post
Black Friday is coming up
Not till April... and July... but I suppose the next Black Friday is always "coming up"?
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