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Old 11-11-2017, 12:26 PM   #13091
rockernut
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My grandfather told me that he saw The Titanic, and that from the beginning he warned all the people that the boat would sink, but they ignored him. However, they were warned again on several occassions, until they kicked him out the cinema.
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:07 PM   #13092
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I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
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Old 11-14-2017, 05:55 AM   #13093
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A prostitute was having a baby at the hospital. In the delivery room her doctor was examining her.

"Can you tell me, ma'am," asked the good doctor, "who the father is?"

"Listen, doc," replied the sharp-tongued lady of the night, "if I ate a whole can of beans, how could I tell you which one made me fart?"
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:18 AM   #13094
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*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please... I need my... phone"
*opens Twitter*
Me typing: "LMFAOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:20 AM   #13095
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Black Friday is coming up, so remember Retail language:

"Need help finding a size?" = Please stop fucking up my display
"I can put that back for you" = you're going to fuck up my display
"Let me hold your items for you" = So you dont leave this somewhere and fuck up a display
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:23 AM   #13096
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ball7 View Post
Black Friday is coming up
Not till April... and July... but I suppose the next Black Friday is always "coming up"?
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Old 11-16-2017, 01:23 PM   #13097
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Quote:
Originally Posted by effCup View Post
Not till April... and July... but I suppose the next Black Friday is always "coming up"?
In the U.S. "Black Friday" starts the day after the Thansgiving holiday. It is the beginning of the crazy Christmas shopping period where everystore in the entire nation has practically everything on sale. It is estimated that more than 30% of an entire years sales are made during this period from November 24 up to December 25th.
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Old 11-16-2017, 01:30 PM   #13098
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trailmaster View Post
In the U.S. "Black Friday" starts the day after the Thansgiving holiday.
Thank goodness we don't have any thanksgiving here, then. (Just a stupid button.)
My mistake, I thought it was a reference to Fri 13th.
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Old 11-16-2017, 02:25 PM   #13099
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What did zero say to eight?

Nice belt.
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Old 11-16-2017, 06:52 PM   #13100
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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