Dear Forum Diary .......... - Page 2

**Tmee2020** · March 21st, 2012, 03:22 AM

Estreeter · March 21st, 2012, 01:26 PM

03-21-2012
Dear Diary
I'm posting this one before I hit the sack for the night,
MaxJoker sent me a PM, reading it was a bit of a mystery, I'm not sure what a KD Lang CD, an oven and a bottle of vodka have to do with each other, but I'd pay 7 million quid to find out what he meant

, guess I'll have a dream about it all and laugh later on. That's if I wake from a possible nightmare

MaxJoker · March 21st, 2012, 04:36 PM

Dear Diary , 21/03/2012

Decided that since it was such a nice sunny day i`d go outside and run around , in the nude. Not for any pervy sexual thrills but to welcome in the Spring as i read somewhere that back in the day our forefathers used to do that kind of thing. Of course back then they didn`t have rough pavements of cement but instead lush green grass. That`s why being so unfeasible well endowed i ended up giving my valiant middle trooper quite a battering. Eventually i had to pick him up and wrap him around my waist a few times . Yet i did continue to dance and prance about in worship of the new season . But to be fair i think i might have looked a little weird. In fact one crying woman tried to call the police as she thought the main watery villain from the film Anaconda was trying to squeeze the life out of me !. Which then became a self fulfilling prophecy , as she was darn cute what with her NHS prescription glasses and very cummley wheelchair . Thankfully dear diary i was able to take a firm hold of myself . Unfortunately the end result then led to said woman being flooded off her transportation. Mind you she then dropped her purse and so i was able to treat myself to triple cod and quadruple chips on the way home .

**TCO95** · March 21st, 2012, 07:32 PM

Dear Diary :

Who knew flammable and inflammable meant the same thing? Not me that's for sure. The way everyone ran out of the building hollering and screaming you'd have thought someone farted in the elevator. And the firemen, talk about attitude! "What were you thinking? You could have killed all of us! My mom wet her undies." Geez, take a Valium already.

**Mal Hombre** · March 21st, 2012, 08:11 PM

A little annotation to Your excellent calendar, tmee.....

**Tmee2020** · March 21st, 2012, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

A little annotation to Your excellent calendar, tmee.....

Duly noted, and updated Mal. Pauline will make sure we don't forget.

Significant date too, for that and other non-Mal related reasons.

hurricane4916 · March 22nd, 2012, 05:20 AM

Dear Diary,
Seven years ago I met a great girl. She made my life complete. On May 24th 2011, I had a stroke and now I talk funny and my right hand doesn't work. I was in a coma for a week. I came out of it to find her and my family there. I told my girl " You could leave me now and I won't be mad" She told me to fuck off. She has stuck by me and acts as if I'm just fine. I know this is a porn site but, WTF you asked.

**Greenman** · March 22nd, 2012, 09:28 AM

Dear Diary,

Was it really a dream or did I just see a calendar with a lot of page 3 girls posted by tmee2000 on a forum for tasty birds? Remind self to ask what program or software he used to make it-thinks!! gives one an idea for something else this year. Reflected on Hartlepool selling out of exploding trousers-maybe Peter Mandelson(Lord) bought the last pair? Went to Aston Martin showroom to see latest model-apologiesd like mad for accidentally pressing secret button and sending oil all over salesman-what a stupid thing to build into a car-discovered it was actually second hand and had been owned by a Mr J Bond - apparently it had been customised? Final straw came when hidden machine guns appeared from behind headlamps and smashed showroom front glass, so beat a hasty retreat...I'll stick to a Clio in future.
Well dear diary that's all for now I'm off to view a video, someone mentioned it might be some bird from a talent contest Talisman Constantinople? Good heavens, I never knew she did THAT!!

Estreeter · March 22nd, 2012, 02:13 PM

03-22-2012
Dear Diary
I don't know what got over me today on the forum, I only deleted one post, warned nobody, banned nobody.....even paid attention to detail

Days not quite over yet, I guess all that can change

MaxJoker · March 22nd, 2012, 03:31 PM

Dear Diary , 22/03/2012

Went to the DIY shop earlier and bought a sharp pair of secateurs , then cut off my nose in front of the checkout girl.. But then i do like to spoil myself once in a while.
Tied a hankie around my nasal stump and tried to get a table at Bella Pasta , only they refused to let me sit down and some of the patrons even vomited as i dripped everywhere , not least their plates as i leaned over to see what they were eating.
Never been treated in such an unfriendly fashion before.
Well not since i attempted to set up that hot dog stand outside my local Mosque !
In the end the manager started shouting and demanded i leave their microwaved to order restaurant.
I think maybe i need to change deodorant ?
Stomped home in a mood , but did chin a policewoman on the way so the day ended on a semi high.

March 21st, 2012, 03:22 AM	#11
Tmee2020 Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Aust Posts: 4,195 Thanks: 209,836 Thanked 71,434 Times in 4,151 Posts	Last edited by Tmee2020; March 21st, 2012 at 09:41 PM.. Reason: Mal's update

March 21st, 2012, 01:26 PM	#12
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,114 Thanks: 449,709 Thanked 896,754 Times in 60,310 Posts	03-21-2012 Dear Diary I'm posting this one before I hit the sack for the night, MaxJoker sent me a PM, reading it was a bit of a mystery, I'm not sure what a KD Lang CD, an oven and a bottle of vodka have to do with each other, but I'd pay 7 million quid to find out what he meant , guess I'll have a dream about it all and laugh later on. That's if I wake from a possible nightmare __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 21st, 2012, 04:36 PM	#13
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	Dear Diary , 21/03/2012 Decided that since it was such a nice sunny day i`d go outside and run around , in the nude. Not for any pervy sexual thrills but to welcome in the Spring as i read somewhere that back in the day our forefathers used to do that kind of thing. Of course back then they didn`t have rough pavements of cement but instead lush green grass. That`s why being so unfeasible well endowed i ended up giving my valiant middle trooper quite a battering. Eventually i had to pick him up and wrap him around my waist a few times . Yet i did continue to dance and prance about in worship of the new season . But to be fair i think i might have looked a little weird. In fact one crying woman tried to call the police as she thought the main watery villain from the film Anaconda was trying to squeeze the life out of me !. Which then became a self fulfilling prophecy , as she was darn cute what with her NHS prescription glasses and very cummley wheelchair . Thankfully dear diary i was able to take a firm hold of myself . Unfortunately the end result then led to said woman being flooded off her transportation. Mind you she then dropped her purse and so i was able to treat myself to triple cod and quadruple chips on the way home . __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 21st, 2012, 08:11 PM	#15
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,635 Thanked 855,661 Times in 57,565 Posts	A little annotation to Your excellent calendar, tmee..... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 22nd, 2012, 09:28 AM	#18
Greenman Live Legend of VEF Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Underground lair somewhere in the world Posts: 20,353 Thanks: 30,936 Thanked 383,508 Times in 19,356 Posts	Dear Diary, Was it really a dream or did I just see a calendar with a lot of page 3 girls posted by tmee2000 on a forum for tasty birds? Remind self to ask what program or software he used to make it-thinks!! gives one an idea for something else this year. Reflected on Hartlepool selling out of exploding trousers-maybe Peter Mandelson(Lord) bought the last pair? Went to Aston Martin showroom to see latest model-apologiesd like mad for accidentally pressing secret button and sending oil all over salesman-what a stupid thing to build into a car-discovered it was actually second hand and had been owned by a Mr J Bond - apparently it had been customised? Final straw came when hidden machine guns appeared from behind headlamps and smashed showroom front glass, so beat a hasty retreat...I'll stick to a Clio in future. Well dear diary that's all for now I'm off to view a video, someone mentioned it might be some bird from a talent contest Talisman Constantinople? Good heavens, I never knew she did THAT!! __________________ There was only ONE Greenman, and you accepted no substitutes! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Rest in peace MaxJoker-you will be sorely missed. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 20,000: Milestone reached!

March 21st, 2012, 07:32 PM	#14
TCO95 Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: This member is not allowed in your country. Posts: 5,176 Thanks: 47,615 Thanked 64,797 Times in 5,130 Posts	Dear Diary : Who knew flammable and inflammable meant the same thing? Not me that's for sure. The way everyone ran out of the building hollering and screaming you'd have thought someone farted in the elevator. And the firemen, talk about attitude! "What were you thinking? You could have killed all of us! My mom wet her undies." Geez, take a Valium already.

March 22nd, 2012, 05:20 AM	#17
hurricane4916 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Waukesha, WI. Posts: 111 Thanks: 1,574 Thanked 1,058 Times in 102 Posts	Dear Diary, Seven years ago I met a great girl. She made my life complete. On May 24th 2011, I had a stroke and now I talk funny and my right hand doesn't work. I was in a coma for a week. I came out of it to find her and my family there. I told my girl " You could leave me now and I won't be mad" She told me to fuck off. She has stuck by me and acts as if I'm just fine. I know this is a porn site but, WTF you asked.

March 22nd, 2012, 02:13 PM	#19
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,114 Thanks: 449,709 Thanked 896,754 Times in 60,310 Posts	03-22-2012 Dear Diary I don't know what got over me today on the forum, I only deleted one post, warned nobody, banned nobody.....even paid attention to detail Days not quite over yet, I guess all that can change __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 22nd, 2012, 03:31 PM	#20
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	Dear Diary , 22/03/2012 Went to the DIY shop earlier and bought a sharp pair of secateurs , then cut off my nose in front of the checkout girl.. But then i do like to spoil myself once in a while. Tied a hankie around my nasal stump and tried to get a table at Bella Pasta , only they refused to let me sit down and some of the patrons even vomited as i dripped everywhere , not least their plates as i leaned over to see what they were eating. Never been treated in such an unfriendly fashion before. Well not since i attempted to set up that hot dog stand outside my local Mosque ! In the end the manager started shouting and demanded i leave their microwaved to order restaurant. I think maybe i need to change deodorant ? Stomped home in a mood , but did chin a policewoman on the way so the day ended on a semi high. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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