Post your corny jokes - Page 1119

Estreeter · June 27th, 2016, 12:37 PM

A Pirate walks into a pub with the ships wheel rammed down the front of his pasts.

The bartender see's this and asks him "Hey, don;t that hurt Mate?"

"Aye, It's drivin' me nuts" replied the Pirate,

**SanteeFats** · June 27th, 2016, 02:10 PM

Q: How do you put an elephant into a Safeway bag?

A: You take the "f" out of safe & the "f" out of way- wait, there's no "f" in way!

**photoflex** · June 27th, 2016, 02:46 PM

Just got e-mail with a Universities "Brexit next steps" document.
When clicked on, it said "The file is damaged and could not be repaired."

MaxJoker · June 27th, 2016, 03:22 PM

Yesterday at a job interview filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little,

"Nervous ?" asked the interviewer ,

"No" I replied "Just always give 110 percent "

**Almero** · June 28th, 2016, 07:04 AM

(he)- Honey, I'm home!
(she)- I know. It's dinner time, and you didn't even get your ass up from the couch.

Estreeter · June 28th, 2016, 01:13 PM

There was this cannibal, he was real frustrated.
How frustrated was he

He threw up his arms

**SanteeFats** · June 28th, 2016, 01:55 PM

How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

**gedly** · June 28th, 2016, 04:49 PM

Saw an interesting job ad today, "People required to sample herbs and spices. Strictly no thyme wasters".

**rosestone** · June 28th, 2016, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SanteeFats

How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

Reminds me of a very old corny joke....

Two cows stood in a field, chewing cud. One turns to the other and says "Isn't it terrible about mad cow disease?", the other says "Yeah it is. Lucky it doesn't affect us ducks, isn't it?"

*stretches imaginary braces*

**gmcbee** · June 28th, 2016, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

Saw an interesting job ad today, "People required to sample herbs and spices. Strictly no thyme wasters".

I saw a sign that said "NO WHIRING", and I wondered what it meant. A little later, I saw one that read "NOT RESPASSING".

June 27th, 2016, 12:37 PM	#11181
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,802 Times in 60,322 Posts	A Pirate walks into a pub with the ships wheel rammed down the front of his pasts. The bartender see's this and asks him "Hey, don;t that hurt Mate?" "Aye, It's drivin' me nuts" replied the Pirate, __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 27th, 2016, 02:46 PM	#11183
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,922 Thanked 127,772 Times in 3,570 Posts	Just got e-mail with a Universities "Brexit next steps" document. When clicked on, it said "The file is damaged and could not be repaired." __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

June 27th, 2016, 03:22 PM	#11184
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Yesterday at a job interview filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little, "Nervous ?" asked the interviewer , "No" I replied "Just always give 110 percent " __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 28th, 2016, 01:13 PM	#11186
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,802 Times in 60,322 Posts	There was this cannibal, he was real frustrated. How frustrated was he He threw up his arms __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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June 27th, 2016, 02:10 PM	#11182
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,813 Thanks: 281,805 Thanked 813,789 Times in 60,861 Posts	Q: How do you put an elephant into a Safeway bag? A: You take the "f" out of safe & the "f" out of way- wait, there's no "f" in way!

June 28th, 2016, 07:04 AM	#11185
Almero Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: From Russia with love Posts: 1,432 Thanks: 13,926 Thanked 25,344 Times in 1,425 Posts	(he)- Honey, I'm home! (she)- I know. It's dinner time, and you didn't even get your ass up from the couch.

June 28th, 2016, 01:55 PM	#11187
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,813 Thanks: 281,805 Thanked 813,789 Times in 60,861 Posts	How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

June 28th, 2016, 04:49 PM	#11188
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,309 Times in 3,171 Posts	Saw an interesting job ad today, "People required to sample herbs and spices. Strictly no thyme wasters".