What I've Learned From Watching Porn. - Page 5

**bfg9000** · April 26th, 2010, 12:44 AM

Nobody has to stop to pee!

**RyderKnightley** · April 28th, 2010, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bfg9000

Nobody has to stop to pee!

Except in the movie Boiling Desires. In the first scene with Candy Evens and Mark Wallice, he says that he has to pee and she replies "You can pee in me". Obviously he doesn't and disappears out of the room for a while.

Alvin Lucifer · April 29th, 2010, 02:47 AM

Species Pornica Americana:

Even the skankiest Tampa street hooker has a perfect Brazilian wax and no zits or blemishes.

Black men have stereotypically gigantic penises. They are emphatically used in porn for the reason that they've got stereotypically gigantic penises. BUT...if you point out that porn producers only use black men who have said stereotypically gigantic penises to emphasize that all black men have stereotypically gigantic penises....then YOU'RE the racist, man. You're the one with issues. Yeah, if you were more secure about the size of your own dick, then you wouldn't care about blah blah blah....

All ninety-pound 19-year-old blonde college girls can't wait to get anally gang banged by a dozen scary ex-cons!

If you're banging your woman, going at it hot and heavy, and you're both about to come off, pull it out of her vagina, have her get on her knees, and dribble spunk on her chin. That's how it's done, son!

She don't mind if you pull your old fella outta her bunghole and shove it down her throat, nor does she mind if three of your buddies do the same to her straight away. Condom? What's a condom?

Female pubic hair went extinct in 1992.

Too young to drink a pint beer in a bar is not too young to drink a gallon of cum on camera. Only in America, friend!

Q. How does a man shave his nutsack?
A. Very carefully.

If it's marketed to heterosexual males, it's pornography. Otherwise, you can call it erotica. A Playboy Playmate reclined on a sofa is misogynistic filthy porn that promotes k*lling women and r^p#ng children. On the other hand, two lesbians pile driving each other with baseball bats is artistic erotica -- as long as the photographer was a female (or a gay man) and the pictures are in a 75-dollar coffee table book! That's what you learn if you spend time on an American university campus.

Strip clubs are clean, classy places and the dancers think you're hottest hunk of man alive and will have unprotected sex with you in the VIP room for free.

Spring Break is synonymous with beach resort orgies.

MILF means the model appears to be over the age of consent.

Teen means eighteen or nineteen...or twenty-eight! If you thought it meant anything else, you're a nasty pervo who oughta be behind bars. We porn producers would never advocate...okay, we did do the pigtails...and the lollipop...but that doesn't mean what you think it means, you dirty dog!

**Mal Hombre** · May 3rd, 2010, 07:29 PM

Most men in hospital have very little wrong with them so they can engage in energetic sex with nurses that have very little to do.

**Mal Hombre** · May 4th, 2010, 07:14 PM

Every work place be it office ,factory or shop is a staffed by attractive women who wear erotic lingerie under their work clothes and who like nothing better than to have sex with their co-workers.If the manager finds out He/She is not angry ,in fact often they join right in.

PBJ · July 6th, 2010, 06:55 AM

Oh my gosh, great thread. There is so much distilled wisdom here!

Hm, what else?

Sexually-transmitted infections don't exist and the threat of pregnancy is almost nonexistent, so no one needs to use condoms - not even with total strangers!

There's no need to discuss likes, dislikes, or boundaries (or, of course, safer sex) with new partners, even if you've never met them before! You'll both just know. (or all three of you will know, etc.)

Women might be able to have orgasms, but they don't place any importance on them. As long as a man ejaculates on them, they are satisfied! Related, the most satisfying way for a man to come is by his own hand.

**billybunter** · July 6th, 2010, 09:54 AM

The only thing i've learned, is that my dick gets bigger when looking/watching porn!

Sandy Claws · July 6th, 2010, 02:26 PM

Any women who have a bush, like a guy to spend 5 minutes talking about it and brushing it with brush before sex.

**Mal Hombre** · July 6th, 2010, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybunter

The only thing i've learned, is that my dick gets bigger when looking/watching porn!

You get that too ? I thought it was just Me.

Estreeter · July 6th, 2010, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybunter

The only thing i've learned, is that my dick gets bigger when looking/watching porn!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

You get that too ? I thought it was just Me.

In case either of you were worried, don't be, it's a perfectly normal condition, there is nothing wrong with either of you...............................I think

April 26th, 2010, 12:44 AM	#41
bfg9000 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly Posts: 683 Thanks: 11,930 Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts	Nobody has to stop to pee! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson

April 29th, 2010, 02:47 AM	#43
Alvin Lucifer Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Pioneer Valley, Massachusetts Posts: 373 Thanks: 8,750 Thanked 3,055 Times in 364 Posts	Porn in the U.S.A. Species Pornica Americana: Even the skankiest Tampa street hooker has a perfect Brazilian wax and no zits or blemishes. Black men have stereotypically gigantic penises. They are emphatically used in porn for the reason that they've got stereotypically gigantic penises. BUT...if you point out that porn producers only use black men who have said stereotypically gigantic penises to emphasize that all black men have stereotypically gigantic penises....then YOU'RE the racist, man. You're the one with issues. Yeah, if you were more secure about the size of your own dick, then you wouldn't care about blah blah blah.... All ninety-pound 19-year-old blonde college girls can't wait to get anally gang banged by a dozen scary ex-cons! If you're banging your woman, going at it hot and heavy, and you're both about to come off, pull it out of her vagina, have her get on her knees, and dribble spunk on her chin. That's how it's done, son! She don't mind if you pull your old fella outta her bunghole and shove it down her throat, nor does she mind if three of your buddies do the same to her straight away. Condom? What's a condom? Female pubic hair went extinct in 1992. Too young to drink a pint beer in a bar is not too young to drink a gallon of cum on camera. Only in America, friend! Q. How does a man shave his nutsack? A. Very carefully. If it's marketed to heterosexual males, it's pornography. Otherwise, you can call it erotica. A Playboy Playmate reclined on a sofa is misogynistic filthy porn that promotes klling women and r^p#ng children. On the other hand, two lesbians pile driving each other with baseball bats is artistic erotica* -- as long as the photographer was a female (or a gay man) and the pictures are in a 75-dollar coffee table book! That's what you learn if you spend time on an American university campus. Strip clubs are clean, classy places and the dancers think you're hottest hunk of man alive and will have unprotected sex with you in the VIP room for free. Spring Break is synonymous with beach resort orgies. MILF means the model appears to be over the age of consent. Teen means eighteen or nineteen...or twenty-eight! If you thought it meant anything else, you're a nasty pervo who oughta be behind bars. We porn producers would never advocate...okay, we did do the pigtails...and the lollipop...but that doesn't mean what you think it means, you dirty dog!

May 3rd, 2010, 07:29 PM	#44
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,153 Thanks: 772,865 Thanked 856,016 Times in 57,584 Posts	Most men in hospital have very little wrong with them so they can engage in energetic sex with nurses that have very little to do. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 4th, 2010, 07:14 PM	#45
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,153 Thanks: 772,865 Thanked 856,016 Times in 57,584 Posts	Every work place be it office ,factory or shop is a staffed by attractive women who wear erotic lingerie under their work clothes and who like nothing better than to have sex with their co-workers.If the manager finds out He/She is not angry ,in fact often they join right in. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

July 6th, 2010, 06:55 AM	#46
PBJ Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 13 Thanks: 175 Thanked 105 Times in 12 Posts	Oh my gosh, great thread. There is so much distilled wisdom here! Hm, what else? Sexually-transmitted infections don't exist and the threat of pregnancy is almost nonexistent, so no one needs to use condoms - not even with total strangers! There's no need to discuss likes, dislikes, or boundaries (or, of course, safer sex) with new partners, even if you've never met them before! You'll both just know. (or all three of you will know, etc.) Women might be able to have orgasms, but they don't place any importance on them. As long as a man ejaculates on them, they are satisfied! Related, the most satisfying way for a man to come is by his own hand. Last edited by PBJ; July 6th, 2010 at 07:01 AM..

July 6th, 2010, 09:54 AM	#47
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,375 Times in 14,171 Posts	The only thing i've learned, is that my dick gets bigger when looking/watching porn!

July 6th, 2010, 02:26 PM	#48
Sandy Claws Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 149 Thanks: 1,535 Thanked 2,211 Times in 282 Posts	Any women who have a bush, like a guy to spend 5 minutes talking about it and brushing it with brush before sex.