Stupid movie cliches and impossibilities

[BustyWomenLovr]

The remake of "Memphis Belle" - Too long a list - let's just say it uses about every page of "Jane's All The World's Aviation Cliches"
That said, I enjoyed the movie, just made the salted buttered popcorn sting a bit as I was biting my cheek and tongue a lot.

[kenshabby2000]

Originally Posted by wildtig2013

There are no traffic jams in the movies.

The main characters can always drive from Big City A to Country City B in 15 min.

No road works either, how many chases take place in big city streets and not a diversion, bollard or road closed sign in sight.

I go through the city (london) at lot and its a cold day in hell when their not digging up somewhere.

[richardoe]

Yes your right about Memphis Belle, the wwii original is far better. The ending where the champagne is sprayed is totally false. The original plan was to make a film about a Lancaster crew and base it on the book "lancaster target", but of course that wouldnt sell over the pond.

[bawjaws]

Originally Posted by kenshabby2000

No road works either, how many chases take place in big city streets and not a diversion, bollard or road closed sign in sight.

I go through the city (london) at lot and its a cold day in hell when their not digging up somewhere.

Oh no.. there is usually a roadworks in a car chase, with a convienent pile of earth that can launch a car into a barrel roll

[GailFan]

Originally Posted by richardoe

Yes your right about Memphis Belle, the wwii original is far better. The ending where the champagne is sprayed is totally false. The original plan was to make a film about a Lancaster crew and base it on the book "lancaster target", but of course that wouldnt sell over the pond.

I hate how source material must be "made more relevant", ie, set in the modern US so inbred hillbillies from Squealpiggy Arkansas will be tempted to see it.

When Spielberg fucked up War Of The Worlds, I posted on another forum suggesting that Schindler's List should also have been "made more relevant". Oskar Schindler could've been a jaded Haliburton employee, looking to make a quick buck out of US-occupied Iraq, but ends up saving kiddies from the horror of Abu Gharib.

Needless to say, that post got deleted.

[HugoHackenbush]

Brother Retrovintro will have a good laugh at this one.

Watching an old episode of “The Saint” (Roger Moore era) where part of the plot revolves around a slightly ditzy pop singer and her devotion to an Indian Guru. Some of the episode shows her “cutting a record” in the recording studio.

There are five musicians (guitar, bass, drums, keyboards and saxophone) plus girl vocalist depicted as being present in the studio at the same time and all playing/singing live at the same time.

There are TWO microphones shown to capture the sounds of five musician plus singer. One is at chest level of the girl singer (are her tits singing?) and one by the top of the drum set.
No one is either baffled or in a booth.
No amplifiers are seen, even though the instruments are electric.
If the musicians are plugged directly into the recording, board, no one is wearing headphones in order to hear themselves.

There are two takes shown, one according to the “manager” is “terrible” and the other is “terrific” even though there is no audible difference between the two.

Lastly, In his excitement “manager” presses the “talk” button for the studio shouting out something to the effect of “that's terrific boys” while the performance is still going on, which of course would ruin the take.

I realize it’s just TV, but as “The Saint” had a big budget, and was mostly shot on a film studio sound stage, so one would think the crew knew the rudimentary elements of microphones and how they work, as well as the recording process.

[zuckerman]

Name any film about alien invasion and you'll find the plot cliché that a few good men can turn the tide with a decisive strike against the 'Epic & Obvious Point of Failure' in the invader's system. This might be the lack of a firewall in Independence Day, or antibiotics in War of the Worlds, or a hatch cover on the Death Star.

A related cliché is that going toe-to-alien appendage with the invaders will eventually win the day. The premise is that although the aliens have the technological capability to cross interstellar distances, their military superiority is based only on them having slightly better small arms or aircraft, or easily outwitted war robots. And although this leads inititially to what appears to be catastrophic losses for humankind, in the end a few gutsy marines or militia, sometimes backed up by a squadron or two of Top Guns, can decapitate the chain of command or knock out a key command & control hub and render the enemy forces confused and helpless.

Of course, a film in which the aliens lurk out at the heliopause, safely out of range of a square-jawed hero or geek with a laptop, and lob a few million gallons of water ice mined from the Oort cloud laced with a lethal cocktail of human viruses into our lakes and rivers, wouldn't make such a gripping drama.

But even if the purpose of the invasion was to farm humans as cattle or exploit their labour, no alien would have to risk their skin to achieve that aim. Simply offer our lords and masters an irresitable incentive, like indefinite lifespans, and they would happily collaborate. Our own security forces would soon be proudly goading the bipedal livestock into the interstellar cattle trucks or whipping the serfs into greater effort.

[kenshabby2000]

May have been mentioned before but the 'Dues Ex Machina' ending can realy piss me off.

Cant think of a good proper meaningfull ending, then just make some shit up out-of -the-blue, lazy bastards.

BBC do this a lot in shows like Doctor Who and Torchwood, remembering at the last minute a character has the ability to destroy the enemy with hidden powers never before used or mentioned, until a bout of writers block comes along.

[lothian]

The only permitted response to ".. take it easy .. " is " ..I take it any way I can.. "

[HugoHackenbush]

Originally Posted by kenshabby2000

May have been mentioned before but the 'Dues Ex Machina' ending can realy piss me off.

Cant think of a good proper meaningfull ending, then just make some shit up out-of -the-blue, lazy bastards.

BBC do this a lot in shows like Doctor Who and Torchwood, remembering at the last minute a character has the ability to destroy the enemy with hidden powers never before used or mentioned, until a bout of writers block comes along.

Precisely my complaint with Harry Potter. Stopped watching after the first two because of this.