Porn production "pet hates"

[Toxic Dog]

What are yours - if any?

Mine are (in films) intercut scenes and (in pictures) smaller photos (espeiclally genital close-ups) superimposed over larger photos.

[rachelx]

I'm surprised this has not had any replies. Good topic.

In movies I'd have to say it's bad camera work that pisses me off. Too many cuts, too much movement. Just let it be. Set things up and let us enjoy the sight of a sexy woman getting FUCKED.

In pics things don't annoy me so much but models that are told to look at the camera and SMILE, I mean, what's all that about. Seems to be a Euro/German thing. Here's the news: nobody smiles during sex, a lecherous grin is as close as it gets, but most off the time expressions speak of filthy thoughts and wicked sensations, and that's appealing to voyeurs!

Obviously fake cum is a DUMB thing. Pull-up stockings, g-strings/thongs, silly platform shoes.

[OtisOne]

Originally Posted by rachelx

Here's the news: nobody smiles during sex, a lecherous grin is as close as it gets, but most off the time expressions speak of filthy thoughts and wicked sensations, and that's appealing to voyeurs!

This voyeur can (just off the top of my head) think of two stars that seemed to be always smiling while getting "FUCKED": Juliet Anderson and Veronica Hart both seemed to be very happified in those scenes. Aunt Peg regularly laughed. Mind you, I'd agree that both of these examples speak more of 'filthy thoughts and wicked sensations', just as you said. And, for sure neither smiled for the camera, but for the pleasure.

[edgarcasey]

Langin mentioned cameramen running their mouths while filming the action. Amen, brother - I can't stand that.

Cohiba cited bad editing as a recurring theme here.

At least two posters (classicporno, buggerlugs) mentioned guys jerking-off in a woman's face instead of her giving the guy a handjob or blowjob to completion. Yeah, definitely.

At least two posters (ymcba321, Derwent) drew a blank when contemplating this apparent major preoccupation with spitting. Absolutely.

At least three posters (ymcba321, hayt2009, grindcore666) voiced their displeasure regarding the total lack of pubic hair in 99.99% of the genre. This I couldn't possibly agree with more, as I do not respond to shaved cunt at all, hence my decision two or three years ago to abandon American porn all together in favor of Japanese adult video (in addition to the vintage stuff, of course).

The most frequent complaint of all: at least nine posters complained that we see far too many close-ups, often, more specifically, close-ups of the guy's face. Absolutely no question. Once in a while, you'll be given a long shot, one that shows you everyone in the room, and what they're engaged in, but these images are fleeting at best.

Another recurring theme pertains to overacting: faking orgasms, fake moans, blatant cliche one-liners (Rob427, easypeasy, jrk86, xcruciusx2, 27cows)

At least two posters griped about ubiquitous hideous tattoos (margib, steamjon). I'm in full agreement.

At least five complained of plastic surgery, silicone, and ugly breast implants (Rob427, jsandy, margib, bigerc, steamjon). Absofuckinlutely.

My favorite quote from the entire thread comes from margib:
".... I never watch modern porn: I happen to like erotica, and it need not be too explicit. In fact a simple glimpse of a woman's nakedness for a very short time can be very exciting, whereas twenty minutes of pounding is just like watching a butcher at work in his shop!"
This is excellent. What turns me on is nudity: a natural woman (silicone free, tattoo free, piercing free, with a beautiful full bush) standing in front of the camera! What a concept. Simple full-frontal nudity, which, ironically, is almost impossible to view. As soon as a woman begins to masturbate, she is effectively hiding herself, as are her male partners the second they take over the screen.

[Oswald]

Badly taken photographs get me annoyed. I want to see her entire head, bum and/or puss properly in shot - not out of focus. And the worse is when parts of her are not even in the frame.

I've had to skip downloading hundreds of pictures simply because of shoddy camera work.

[USBPepsi]

Originally Posted by rachelx

In movies I'd have to say it's bad camera work that pisses me off. Too many cuts, too much movement. Just let it be. Set things up and let us enjoy the sight of a sexy woman getting FUCKED.

I'd say these days there are not enough cuts and not enough movement.

Porn films used to be made by filmmakers. Now they're made by some guy who, if you're lucky, owns a tripod. Even if the camera can be steadied, you then have to look at the same shot (including genital close-ups) for three minutes at a time. What a bunch of amateurs.

Originally Posted by BondJmsBond

Intercut scenes bug me, I think this practice ruins the scenes and the movie. However It gives me the opportunity(as a poster) to split and then join the cuts, then post the scene as an uninterrupted whole;* which would not be seen otherwise. I do that alot, it's fun.* *

Yeah, I do that a lot too. Back in the VHS days it was a real chore to copy one sex scene, rewind the tape, and then copy the other. Now, doing it on the computer, it's a breeze (and actually kind of fun, when I'm bored).

Originally Posted by Mr.Bungle

I Knew I would be in the minority . I just prefer the all natural, all nude look.

Maybe in the minority. Definitely not alone.

[BondJmsBond]

Intercut scenes bug me, I think this practice ruins the scenes and the movie. However It gives me the opportunity(as a poster) to split and then join the cuts, then post the scene as an uninterrupted whole;* which would not be seen otherwise. I do that alot, it's fun.* *

[Mr.Bungle]

One thing (and I know this a HUGE part of it for some folks): SHOES!!! (as in: I hate a hot scene or photo ruined by the model wearing heels) >.

[Icarus46]

Quite the opposite for me. Keep the shoes ON! Preferably pumps and whilst wearing sheer stockings :P

I also hate the way the camera cuts and moves around sometime. Many a potentially amazing clip has been ruined like this. I guess it's all about taste though.

[Oswald]

Originally Posted by Icarus46

Quite the opposite for me. Keep the shoes ON!

Yes, I'm for keeping their shoes on - especially stiletto high-heels.