Post your corny jokes - Page 1232

**gmcbee** · May 25th, 2017, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

It is in my book.

That speaks volumes.

**gmcbee** · May 25th, 2017, 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

If multiple girls called Paige hang out together, is that called a chapter?

Would a global convention be an anthology?

**Isegrim** · May 25th, 2017, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

If multiple girls called Paige hang out together, is that called a chapter?

In the worst case it's an periodical ...

**bloke57** · May 25th, 2017, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmcbee

If I had a spine, I'd tell you guys to leaf these bad puns alone. Everything's about covered.

Is that decision binding?

**effCup** · May 25th, 2017, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isegrim

In the worst case it's an periodical ...

Worse than a half-pregnant pause?

**Mal Hombre** · May 25th, 2017, 11:08 AM

Or a prolapsed Semicolon..

**bp666** · May 25th, 2017, 12:14 PM

I've been hanging out at the Gym quite a lot lately.

I really need to buy some bigger shorts.....

**bp666** · May 25th, 2017, 12:15 PM

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.
Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"

"Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"

"The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant."
"Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again."
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.

"Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon.

"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in water colours."

"That’s unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"

"Well, just one," said the golfer, "Every time I get an erection I also get a headache."

**Isegrim** · May 25th, 2017, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by effCup

Worse than a half-pregnant pause?

Well, this article says pregnant pauses can be used for punchlines ... I don't know about half-pregnant pauses though ...

**effCup** · May 25th, 2017, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isegrim

I don't know about half-pregnant pauses though ...

Joke within joke? /keeps digging/

People often say things like that they feel "half dead", usually after something strenuous such as lifting a half-full/empty glass to their lips, yet pregnancy is typically described in a "binary" manner... by which I don't mean:

"You're having twins? Gosh!"
"Yes, 10 babies."

May 25th, 2017, 11:08 AM	#12316
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,127 Thanks: 772,558 Thanked 855,633 Times in 57,558 Posts	Or a prolapsed Semicolon.. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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May 25th, 2017, 12:14 PM	#12317
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	I've been hanging out at the Gym quite a lot lately. I really need to buy some bigger shorts.....

May 25th, 2017, 12:15 PM	#12318
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?" "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant." "Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved." "That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in water colours." "That’s unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?" "Well, just one," said the golfer, "Every time I get an erection I also get a headache."