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Old August 2nd, 2017, 10:15 PM   #12571
gedly
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Mortuaries? Well I wouldn't be seen dead in them!
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Old August 3rd, 2017, 03:27 PM   #12572
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Old August 3rd, 2017, 04:02 PM   #12573
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Unfortunately, the summer outing for the local self-harm therapy group is now fully booked. I bet those who didn't get tickets are kicking themselves.
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Old August 3rd, 2017, 04:32 PM   #12574
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I saw the local dyslexic Yorkshireman out and about the other day; he had his cat flap on.
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Old August 3rd, 2017, 04:59 PM   #12575
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I had a cardiac transplant booked at the Gene Pitney Hospital but an animal stole the donor organ-Something's gotten hold of My heart..
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Old August 3rd, 2017, 06:45 PM   #12576
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My girlfriend thinks that I can't mend electrical appliances..... Well, she's in for a shock....
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Old August 3rd, 2017, 10:05 PM   #12577
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I just got the day off from work

I have a funeral to attend.

It's Wurz's girlfriend's.
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Old August 4th, 2017, 11:20 AM   #12578
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Bad luck to the English ladies team in not scoring against the Netherlands - for their defence they parked the bus -well, a single Dekker and three Vans, all experienced internationals. Those Dutch caps proved too much of an impenetrable barrier.
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Old August 4th, 2017, 01:53 PM   #12579
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gedly View Post
The following reminded me of the above.

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Old August 5th, 2017, 10:30 PM   #12580
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A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I'm still not over the pig.) ...
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