Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 95

**bp666** · June 23rd, 2016, 07:56 PM

What's worse than ants in your pants?
...
Uncles!

**captpike** · June 24th, 2016, 12:26 AM

A little late on this but oh-well -
What is the definition of Mass Confusion ?
Fathers Day in Harlem

MaxJoker · June 24th, 2016, 08:12 PM

My first school football game was a lot like my first time having sex ,

I was bloody and sore in the end ,

But at least my dad came.

**Nobody1** · June 25th, 2016, 11:55 AM

What job has a female astronaut?

Scrubwoman.

The most popular board game for women?

Ironing.

What do you get if you order African food?

Nothing.

What is the Muslim name of Alice in Wonderland.

Ali at ALDI.

What gets a child in Africa on its birthday?

Nothing.

How do you recognize a Muslim dominatrix?

She wears a leather burqa.

Football match. France against Nigeria. France won. Why?

Nigeria died of thirst.

What gets a Muslim child for Christmas?

Your bike.

Where live the mentally handicapped?

Downtown.

Why does the queen move freely on the chessboard?

The chessboard looks like the kitchen floor.

What is the most dangerous job in the world?

Pizza delivery driver in Ethiopia.

What is the reason if a woman is sitting in your living room?

A too long chain.

What is the most extreme form of autism?

Death.

**SanteeFats** · June 25th, 2016, 02:19 PM

A man walked into a bar and says, "Give me something to drink just no vodka."
The bartender asks, "Why? That's your typical drink of choice."
The man replies, "Because last night I got drunk and blew Chunks."
The bartender says, "Well, it's normal to blow chunks if you drink too much. The man says, "No, Chunks is my dog."

MaxJoker · June 27th, 2016, 04:24 PM

Read a story in the newspaper the other day about a father who paid his daughter for sex ,

Was absolutely disgusted,

What kind of daughter charges her own father ?!?.

MaxJoker · July 6th, 2016, 04:32 PM

What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat ?,

Bisexual

What difference is there between ET and the Polish ?,

ET actually bloody took the hint and returned home

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout ?

Boy scouts come back from camp

**SanteeFats** · July 6th, 2016, 07:35 PM

A baby seal walked into a club.

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal!

Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

**theequestrian** · July 7th, 2016, 12:02 AM

Since I was born in NYC I was inculcated with the least politically correct humor: Ethnic Jokes. Disclaimer: I am Italian/French/Jewish and have a black daughter, so I can get away with telling these (or most of them). OK, time to drop a few more floors in hell.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

What's the difference between an Italian grandmother and an elephant?
8 pounds and a moustache.

Why wasn't Christ born in Ireland?
They couldn't find 3 wise men & a virgin.

Why is the Puerto Rican suicide rate in NYC so low?
It's hard to kill yourself jumping out of a basement window.

An Irish 7 course meal is a potato & a 6 pack.

How do you get a black out of a tree in Alabama?
Cut the rope.

How do you separate the men from the boys in Atlanta?
With a crowbar.

Why do Jews have such big noses?
Air is free.

What do you call a girl with no arms or legs but is still popular with the boys?
Heddy.
What do you call a boy with the same afflictions?
1st base.

How many blacks does it take to cover a parking lot?
8, but you have to spread them very thin.

How many Rednecks does it take to change a lightbulb?
4. One to change the bulb. One to write a song about it. Two to pick a fight in the parking lot.

If there are 7 houses in a row and each house has a cesspool, how can you tell which home is owned by Italians?
The one with the diving board.

A woman walks in to a Police Station and tells the desk sergeant
"I've just been raped by a Pole"
"How do you know he was Polish?" asked the sergeant
"I had to help"

MaxJoker · July 19th, 2016, 02:04 PM

Why were so many blacks killed during the Vietnam war ? ,
Because whenever the sergeant yelled to "Get down" they all got up and started dancing.

What's black and white and rolls down the street ?,
An Ethiopian and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.

What do black men do after sex ?,
Usually 15 years to life.

What do you call a smiling black man ?,
Snigger.

June 24th, 2016, 12:26 AM	#942
captpike Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 80,322 Thanked 47,306 Times in 1,164 Posts	A little late on this but oh-well - What is the definition of Mass Confusion ? Fathers Day in Harlem __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for more of or about her? Due to recent changes I will be limited on my reups lost most of my collection To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 24th, 2016, 08:12 PM	#943
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	My first school football game was a lot like my first time having sex , I was bloody and sore in the end , But at least my dad came. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 27th, 2016, 04:24 PM	#946
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Read a story in the newspaper the other day about a father who paid his daughter for sex , Was absolutely disgusted, What kind of daughter charges her own father ?!?. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

July 6th, 2016, 04:32 PM	#947
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat ?, Bisexual What difference is there between ET and the Polish ?, ET actually bloody took the hint and returned home What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout ? Boy scouts come back from camp __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

July 7th, 2016, 12:02 AM	#949
theequestrian Vintage Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: A hop, skip & a jump from Daytona Beach, Florida Posts: 1,177 Thanks: 4,807 Thanked 11,707 Times in 1,156 Posts	Since I was born in NYC I was inculcated with the least politically correct humor: Ethnic Jokes. Disclaimer: I am Italian/French/Jewish and have a black daughter, so I can get away with telling these (or most of them). OK, time to drop a few more floors in hell. What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven. What's the difference between an Italian grandmother and an elephant? 8 pounds and a moustache. Why wasn't Christ born in Ireland? They couldn't find 3 wise men & a virgin. Why is the Puerto Rican suicide rate in NYC so low? It's hard to kill yourself jumping out of a basement window. An Irish 7 course meal is a potato & a 6 pack. How do you get a black out of a tree in Alabama? Cut the rope. How do you separate the men from the boys in Atlanta? With a crowbar. Why do Jews have such big noses? Air is free. What do you call a girl with no arms or legs but is still popular with the boys? Heddy. What do you call a boy with the same afflictions? 1st base. How many blacks does it take to cover a parking lot? 8, but you have to spread them very thin. How many Rednecks does it take to change a lightbulb? 4. One to change the bulb. One to write a song about it. Two to pick a fight in the parking lot. If there are 7 houses in a row and each house has a cesspool, how can you tell which home is owned by Italians? The one with the diving board. A woman walks in to a Police Station and tells the desk sergeant "I've just been raped by a Pole" "How do you know he was Polish?" asked the sergeant "I had to help" __________________ 'If we could read each others minds, we'd all sleep with loaded guns' -theequestrian

June 23rd, 2016, 07:56 PM	#941
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	What's worse than ants in your pants? ... Uncles!

June 25th, 2016, 11:55 AM	#944
Nobody1 Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 2,119 Thanks: 16,786 Thanked 22,140 Times in 2,127 Posts	What job has a female astronaut? Scrubwoman. The most popular board game for women? Ironing. What do you get if you order African food? Nothing. What is the Muslim name of Alice in Wonderland. Ali at ALDI. What gets a child in Africa on its birthday? Nothing. How do you recognize a Muslim dominatrix? She wears a leather burqa. Football match. France against Nigeria. France won. Why? Nigeria died of thirst. What gets a Muslim child for Christmas? Your bike. Where live the mentally handicapped? Downtown. Why does the queen move freely on the chessboard? The chessboard looks like the kitchen floor. What is the most dangerous job in the world? Pizza delivery driver in Ethiopia. What is the reason if a woman is sitting in your living room? A too long chain. What is the most extreme form of autism? Death.

June 25th, 2016, 02:19 PM	#945
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,813 Thanks: 281,805 Thanked 813,809 Times in 60,861 Posts	A man walked into a bar and says, "Give me something to drink just no vodka." The bartender asks, "Why? That's your typical drink of choice." The man replies, "Because last night I got drunk and blew Chunks." The bartender says, "Well, it's normal to blow chunks if you drink too much. The man says, "No, Chunks is my dog."

July 6th, 2016, 07:35 PM	#948
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,813 Thanks: 281,805 Thanked 813,809 Times in 60,861 Posts	A baby seal walked into a club. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal! Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

July 19th, 2016, 02:04 PM	#950
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Why were so many blacks killed during the Vietnam war ? , Because whenever the sergeant yelled to "Get down" they all got up and started dancing. What's black and white and rolls down the street ?, An Ethiopian and a seagull fighting over a French Fry. What do black men do after sex ?, Usually 15 years to life. What do you call a smiling black man ?, Snigger. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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