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January 10th, 2018, 08:52 PM | #1241 |
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What’s big, Scottish and depressing?
Scotland. I was walking through Glasgow today, when I was stopped by a representative from Aquafresh Toothpaste. She said, "Did you know that the average person only brushes 30% of their teeth?" I said, "We're in Glasgow love, the average person only has 30% of their teeth." |
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January 10th, 2018, 11:36 PM | #1242 |
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The Scottish Alphabet:
A, B, Cunt |
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January 10th, 2018, 11:55 PM | #1243 |
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For my stag do, my best man said he was taking me where only the very tightest cunts in the world could be found.
Lidl in Glasgow. What do you call a pointless race that covers 2,200 miles throughout France? The French. |
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January 11th, 2018, 02:28 PM | #1244 |
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I recently visited a second hand shop and got a second rate hand job
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January 11th, 2018, 08:28 PM | #1245 |
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I was shocked last night to learn my 12 year old sister has caught Chlamydia.
I didn't even know I had it! |
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January 13th, 2018, 12:55 AM | #1246 |
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I asked my girlfriend for a blow job today and she replied with, "Well, what will I get?"
I'm guessing ‘Herpes’ was not the right answer. What have Chlamydia and a cheating husband got in common? My wife has both of them and doesn't know about it yet. 1 in 6 women are said to have Chlamydia. Then I must be really unlucky because every woman I sleep with calls me up a few weeks later telling me they got it. |
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January 13th, 2018, 04:37 PM | #1247 |
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"Open wide, here comes the airplane " ,
Said the Malaysian shark to his son. Credit where it`s due to Oscar Pistorius , I don't think I could stand having no legs. What's the difference between a nipple and an erect penis ? , Nothing according to my nine week old daughter.
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January 13th, 2018, 05:22 PM | #1248 |
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January 15th, 2018, 07:50 PM | #1249 |
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January 16th, 2018, 05:14 PM | #1250 |
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What ,too sick and twisted ?
Did you hear about those ninety seven Nigerians who drowned yesterday while on their way to Europe ? ,
Exactly better than nothing. Love taking my sensitive blind daughter out for a drive , Every time hit a speed bump I tell her it`s a dog.
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