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December 8th, 2013, 06:59 PM | #7191 |
in memoriam Max
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I normally get my wife shit Christmas presents, but this year I've found her wish list:
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December 8th, 2013, 09:14 PM | #7192 |
Vintage Member
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Hello, is this the Navajo Police?" "Yes. How can I help you?" "I'm calling to report about my neighbor, Joe Begay. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir"
The next day, the Navajo Police officers descended on Joe 's house. They searched the shed where the firewood was kept. Using axes, they busted open every piece of wood but found no marijuana. They swore at Joe and left. The phone rang at Joe's house. "Hey, Joe! Did the Navajo Police come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yeah..." "Happy Birthday, Shi-Bro!"
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December 8th, 2013, 11:21 PM | #7193 |
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"Dear Abby,
I'm very worried. I know it is statistically unlikely to have two homosexuals in one family, but I need to know whether I'm reading the signals right. Could it be possible that both my dads are gay?"
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December 9th, 2013, 04:53 PM | #7194 |
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I think that might be wrong
No offence meant, but I think your answer might be wrong,
were (wûr; unstressed wuhr) v. 1. a 2nd pers. sing. past indic.; 1st, 2nd, and 3rd pers. pl. past indic.; and past subj. of BE. [bef. 1000; ME; OE wære past subj., wære past ind. 2nd pers. sing. and wæron past ind. pl. of wesan to be; cf. WAS] Usage. See SUBJUNCTIVE. we're (weer) 1. contraction of we are. So singular would be "was" so I was a werewolf, but I am alright Noooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww |
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December 9th, 2013, 05:00 PM | #7195 |
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Fair Enough
MY name is "nough."
I am a fairy, Fairy Nough. |
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December 9th, 2013, 05:05 PM | #7196 |
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Some what crude - prudes do not read
Somewhat crude, prudes don’t read.
This should be sung in a boy soprano voice with a deeply religious melodic sound: As I was walking through a wood. I sh*t myself, I knew I would, I cried for help, but no help came, And so I sh*t myself again. |
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December 9th, 2013, 05:06 PM | #7197 |
Beloved Brother
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Show me a man brave enough to call himself a vegetarian,
And i'll show you a man who's willing to pretend to be so, just long enough to make a big boobed female one of the species finally swallow some meat.
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December 9th, 2013, 05:12 PM | #7198 |
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2 the woods with the vicar
The Vicar and the Woods
Spoken with Gusto: To the woods, to the woods But I don’t want to go to the woods To the woods To the woods I’m only 13!! Who’s superstitious?’ To the woods to the woods My mother won’t like it. Your mothers not getting it To the woods, to the woods. But what about the vicar I am the vicar, to the woods, to the woods. If you eat pussy does that make you a Cannibal Or would you be an Animal Cannibal |
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December 9th, 2013, 07:20 PM | #7199 |
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How to work out your 'pay rise' name!!!
Take your first name, followed by your second name and add M.P. at the end Bastards! |
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December 9th, 2013, 09:44 PM | #7200 |
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My mate in the pub said to me today "I saw your missus in the sex shop the other day". "What was she doing there?" I asked . "On the front cover of Horny 40s", he replied.
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