Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 73

**SanteeFats** · October 31st, 2015, 01:31 PM

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics?
A: Having two legs.

Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.

BigDog44 · October 31st, 2015, 01:51 PM

So this guy goes to the whore house but only has $5 so the madame says she can sort him out and puts him in a room with a chicken...... the guy shrugs his shoulders and fucks the poultry to death.
He goes back the next week with $10 and the madame sends him to another room where a bunch of guys are sat in the dark, a shutter goes up and two gorgeous lesbians are going at it in the next room. The bloke leans over to the guy next to him and says "This is fucking awesome!"
The guy replies "This is nothing mate, last week it was some dozy cunt fucking a chicken!"

**Mal Hombre** · October 31st, 2015, 02:33 PM

**DonnyJoe** · November 1st, 2015, 07:25 PM

Some women are SO touchy and get SO irate!

A lady I know told me she was pregnant with twins.

All I said was "Well at long last you'll at least have 2
children who have the same father."

**sweatyhat** · November 4th, 2015, 09:17 PM

I caught my son wanking today.
I run much faster while I masturbate.

Every time I try to chase my dream, it turns around and sprays me in the eyes with mace.

Credit to OPs

**justme21** · November 5th, 2015, 09:45 AM

**SanteeFats** · November 7th, 2015, 02:53 PM

What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.

Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."

What has 4 legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a children’s playground!

**SanteeFats** · November 10th, 2015, 03:07 PM

Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"

Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

**SanteeFats** · November 11th, 2015, 04:57 PM

How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.

Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache?
A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.

Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth?
A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.

**Doodlebugged** · November 13th, 2015, 01:23 AM

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.

"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare."

October 31st, 2015, 01:51 PM	#722
BigDog44 Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 93 Thanks: 17,138 Thanked 1,356 Times in 93 Posts	So this guy goes to the whore house but only has $5 so the madame says she can sort him out and puts him in a room with a chicken...... the guy shrugs his shoulders and fucks the poultry to death. He goes back the next week with $10 and the madame sends him to another room where a bunch of guys are sat in the dark, a shutter goes up and two gorgeous lesbians are going at it in the next room. The bloke leans over to the guy next to him and says "This is fucking awesome!" The guy replies "This is nothing mate, last week it was some dozy cunt fucking a chicken!" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. God created woman, man created porn... art... porn I get confused still a great combination

October 31st, 2015, 02:33 PM	#723
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,138 Thanks: 772,693 Thanked 855,788 Times in 57,566 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 1st, 2015, 07:25 PM	#724
DonnyJoe Vintage Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Northern Plains U.S.A. Posts: 223 Thanks: 6,811 Thanked 13,106 Times in 416 Posts	Some women are SO touchy and get SO irate! A lady I know told me she was pregnant with twins. All I said was "Well at long last you'll at least have 2 children who have the same father." __________________ Where Ever You Go...There You Are!

November 4th, 2015, 09:17 PM	#725
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,913 Times in 10,563 Posts	I caught my son wanking today. I run much faster while I masturbate. Every time I try to chase my dream, it turns around and sprays me in the eyes with mace. Credit to OPs __________________

November 13th, 2015, 01:23 AM	#730
Doodlebugged Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: London Posts: 825 Thanks: 13,165 Thanked 13,782 Times in 776 Posts	A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" "We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare." __________________ Keeping the British end up. One stroke at a time. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 31st, 2015, 01:31 PM	#721
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,833 Thanks: 281,852 Thanked 813,961 Times in 60,879 Posts	Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs. Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.

November 5th, 2015, 09:45 AM	#726
justme21 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2015 Posts: 882 Thanks: 7,757 Thanked 16,628 Times in 880 Posts

November 7th, 2015, 02:53 PM	#727
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,833 Thanks: 281,852 Thanked 813,961 Times in 60,879 Posts	What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around. Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again." What has 4 legs and one arm? A Doberman in a children’s playground!

November 10th, 2015, 03:07 PM	#728
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,833 Thanks: 281,852 Thanked 813,961 Times in 60,879 Posts	Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!" Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin. 3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

November 11th, 2015, 04:57 PM	#729
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,833 Thanks: 281,852 Thanked 813,961 Times in 60,879 Posts	How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood. Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache? A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places. Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.