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March 28th, 2017, 07:52 PM | #12091 |
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March 29th, 2017, 04:59 AM | #12092 |
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The Graybeard engineer retired and a few weeks later the Big Machine broke down, which was essential to the company’s revenue.
The Manager couldn’t get the machine to work again so the company called in Graybeard as an independent consultant. Graybeard agrees. He walks into the factory, takes a look at the Big Machine, grabs a sledge hammer, and whacks the machine once whereupon the machine starts right up. Graybeard leaves and the company is making money again. The next day Manager receives a bill from Graybeard for $5,000. The manager is furious at the price and refuses to pay. Graybeard assures him that it’s a fair price. The manager retorts that if it’s a fair price Graybeard won’t mind itemizing the bill. Graybeard agrees that this is a fair request and complies. The new, itemized bill reads…. Using a hammer: $5 Knowing where to hit the machine with hammer: $4995 Total: $5000
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March 29th, 2017, 07:26 AM | #12093 |
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March 29th, 2017, 02:14 PM | #12094 |
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My driving instructor told me, NEVER brake if there's an animal in the road.
You should have seen the look on the copper's face as I knocked him off his horse.
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March 30th, 2017, 03:10 PM | #12095 |
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Coroner may be a dead end job but at least the patients don't complain.
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March 30th, 2017, 06:57 PM | #12096 |
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A blonde drives with 180 through the inner city. Finally, she is stopped by a police patrol. A policewoman gets out of the patrol car and wants to see her driving license. The blonde does not know what a driving license is. So she asks what a driver's license looks like. After a moment, the policewoman says 'It's a thing with your picture in it'. The blonde takes a small mirror out of her handbag and shows it to the cop. The policewoman looks puzzled into the little mirror and says 'Oh, you're a colleague. Then please keep driving.'.
Last edited by Nobody1; March 30th, 2017 at 07:07 PM.. |
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March 30th, 2017, 07:18 PM | #12097 |
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Q. Who provided the ice cream in the bible?
A. Lyons of Judah and Walls of Jericho. |
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March 30th, 2017, 09:24 PM | #12098 |
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How do you make a lemon come? You tickle its citrus...
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March 30th, 2017, 10:17 PM | #12099 |
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People always tell me, "Remember, it's a jungle out there!". What a load of rubbish. I live in region of temperate deciduous woodland and grassland, with extensive areas of intensive agriculture and urbanisation.
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March 31st, 2017, 12:05 AM | #12100 |
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