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Old 12-26-2008, 09:33 AM   #1
kiwi
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Red face Boyhood masturbation experiments

F*ck it.

In my time here @ VEF - I've admitted to worse things, hunting for nudie books, catching the clap, so this 'confession' is nothing - I have no shame

A few weeks ago I was reading a post here that was asking if anyone had tried the New Head Houncho? or sth like that. Anyway, I opened it because I thought it was some new computer game - Nooooooooooo. It was a sex toy for men, apparently.

And that got me thinking ... I remembered the novel, Portnoy's Complaint by Phillip Roth. In it, the protagonist & narrator uses a side of beef wrapped around his dick to wank with. Later the family eat it, not knowing what it had been used for previously!

I never did anything like that.

But I did try sitting on my arm for 20 minutes until it went numb - someone had told me this was a great way to wank as it 'felt' like someone else was doing it - ??? - I don't know about that, I had a lot of difficulty just trying to pull myself cause there was no co-ordination... a bit like an L-driver with an unfamiliar gear stick...

I also bought a melon once, cut a hole in it - and f**ked it - not bad but it only stays fresh for a day under the bed ...

Did you ever f**k something strange?

Thank you all in advance.

Kiwi
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Last edited by Farowt; 05-22-2009 at 05:41 AM..
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Old 12-26-2008, 05:12 PM   #2
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When I was about thirteen or so, I cut a small hole in the stitching of my pillow.Then I'd lie on top of it, stick my dick through the hole, hold it tightly between my legs and f**k it for all it was worth. Later I learned to use a lubricant, usually soap on my dick. yes, it did look like I'd f**ked one of next door's hen afterwards, but I continued this practice for several years.
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Old 12-26-2008, 10:06 PM   #3
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You know the cardbord 'roller' in toilet paper? When I was a kid, I used to take those and lube myself up with vaseline and slide inside of those. They always felt awesome. Now they are too small..lol.
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Old 12-26-2008, 10:24 PM   #4
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just the normal wanker here. anything beyond that was too much time consuming for me.
i always wanted a Real Doll. it would be great for photography
among other things, as i always wanted to be the guy behind the camera.
as the girls of today are getting more plastic, these dolls look almost human.
i even think my fiancee' would dig it. maybe one day.
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Old 12-26-2008, 10:31 PM   #5
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Not sure if this fits in this forum, but I remember the first time I masturbated. I was in 6th grade, and a girl had given me her copy of 'Forever' by Judy Blume to read. In the book, the girl's first experience with her boyfriend is giving him a handjob. The chapter was fairly explicit, so I thought I would try it on myself.

The surprise ending really caught me off guard.
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Old 12-26-2008, 10:39 PM   #6
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I would cut an old bicycle tube and put it inside a tube of some sort and lube and go to town. I have bought a couple of realistic pussies feel better then the hand but not like the real thing.

What kind of melon was it Kiwi ?

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Old 12-27-2008, 05:09 AM   #7
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My main problem as a kid was finding something i could use which had enough tightness you know , as there`s nothing worse than having a loose goose around your noose. Growing up i tried everything from two mattresses tied together to using my local community swimming pool and nine tons of chopped liver .Then finally one evening on my travels i found a useful aid , and sure it wasn`t ideal but after a kilo of lube and a lot of squeezing i manager to blow my stack .



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Old 12-27-2008, 05:46 AM   #8
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Default melons

Quote:
Originally Posted by captpike View Post

What kind of melon was it Kiwi ?
Eh... just an ordinary one ... yellow on the outside... if that helps ... captpike

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Old 12-27-2008, 05:50 AM   #9
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Arrow inanimate object(s)

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Originally Posted by bellsmyre49 View Post
It certainly wasn't "seedless" by the time he had his evil way with it.
Rlmao!

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I can't think of any inanimate object I ever fucked - hold on there was a big fat drunk tart behind the public library who was too puggled to do much more than snore - does that count?
If she was totally dead (drunk) when you where @ it, I suppose it might count...

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Old 05-21-2009, 01:45 PM   #10
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In my teenage years I I would experiment with anything that I could insert/rub in my pussy
OMG, I was such a horny girl!
I mean... still am but now I dont play with objects as much as then
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