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Old 09-24-2008, 04:58 AM   #21
daddynick
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China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos...
there are so many Wing's and Wong's in THE DIRECTORY,
people were always winging wong numbers.

I felt you needed to know this...
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Old 09-27-2008, 07:31 AM   #22
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What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic Association.
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Old 09-28-2008, 02:47 AM   #23
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At 85 years of age, Wally married Anne, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Anne decides that after their wedding
she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that
her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire
night together.

After the wedding festivities Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected
'knock' on the door.

Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Wally, her 85
year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one.

All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to
sleep.

After a few minutes, Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and
it's Wally.

Again he is ready for more 'action.'

Somewhat surprised, Anne consents for more coupling.

When the newlyweds are done, Wally kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight
and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it..... Wally is
back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready
for more 'action.'

And, once again they enjoy ! each other.


But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am
thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often.
I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good
once. You are truly a great lover, Wally.'



Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Anne and says: .......'You mean I
was here already?'


The moral of the story:


Don't be afraid of getting old, senior moments have advantages
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Old 10-03-2008, 01:58 PM   #24
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A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the
birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears.
'Promise me you won't tell me.'

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no
Easter Bunny' speech.

At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.

When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid,
I'll have nothing left to live for.'
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Old 10-12-2008, 03:30 PM   #25
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A woman was standing in a crowded elevator of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast.

The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me."

So the woman replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."



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Old 10-15-2008, 12:41 AM   #26
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Default I Was 18 50 Years Ago



Sorry it just seems funny to me, not as funny as they guy through a grenade at a clown, or a guy popping a bag behind an eod tec
(btw if you have good copies of those that would be great
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Old 10-15-2008, 01:01 AM   #27
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What do rednecks do on Halloween?

Pump-Kin!
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Old 11-24-2008, 02:39 AM   #28
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Thumbs up 6 truths of life

6 Truths of Life



1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.





2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.






3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.






4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.











5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.







6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.



I apologise about this.

I'm an idiot and I needed company ...


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Old 12-13-2008, 04:09 PM   #29
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Two rednecks are playing golf behind two flamingly effeminate golfers who are just flitting about after every shot, every putt, everything.
The rednecks are getting so mad watching the unmacho behavior of the two at the "gentleman's game," so they decide they're going to hit into them to get off.
The rednecks' shots are getting dangerously close to the two gays, and finally, a shot from one of the rednecks hits one of the gays on the head and it knocks him out cold.
The other gay is in an angry panic, shaking his friend to get up, "Felipe! Felipe! Get up! Get up!"
He shouts at the rednecks, "You bad men! We are going to sue you!"
One of the rednecks yelled back, "You ain't gonna sue us! I'd just as soon suck your winney!"
The gay heard that and started shaking his friend, "Felipe! Felipe! Get up! Hurry! They want to settle out of court!"
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Old 12-13-2008, 04:46 PM   #30
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how do you eat a frog?






one leg over each ear.
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