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Old 07-19-2017, 02:57 PM   #12741
Almero
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9 out of 10 dermatologists agree that towels are the leading cause of dry skin.
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Old 07-19-2017, 03:04 PM   #12742
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Teacher: Can anyone use the word contagious in a sentence?

Billy: My dad has been painting the fences all week, it's taking the contagious.
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Old 07-19-2017, 04:05 PM   #12743
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Bob, a 65-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Golf Club with a breathtakingly beautiful, and very sexy, 25-year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word...
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"
"I lied about my age", Bob replies.
"What, did you tell her you were only 50?" asked one of the men.
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
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Old 07-19-2017, 11:28 PM   #12744
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Unexpected sex is one of the best ways to wake up. Unless you're in prison.
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Old 07-20-2017, 11:07 PM   #12745
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My son asked me to explain women to him so I bought him an Xbox game for his Playstation.
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Old 07-21-2017, 08:13 AM   #12746
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Huh?
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Old 07-21-2017, 08:38 AM   #12747
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neil w View Post
Huh?
Exactly!
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Old 07-21-2017, 04:49 PM   #12748
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"What do we want ?"
"Hearing aids !!!"
"When do we want them ?"
"Hearing Aids !!!"
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Old 07-21-2017, 08:30 PM   #12749
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How did the farmer find his wife? Tractor.
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Old 07-21-2017, 10:01 PM   #12750
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So I heard her say, "So you're back with that dirty slag. I don't know what you see in that filthy whore". There is a compatiblilty issue between the mobile phone and public transport.
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